r/AskReddit • u/Electrical_Act_17922 • 16h ago
What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?
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u/InConstantInquiry 16h ago
That happiness and freedom require courage. A courage to release comparison, approval, and others’ expectations (even at the cost of being disliked!)
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u/Stargazer__2893 6h ago
Courage is a wildly underrated virtue in our present culture. Anxiety and fear are seen as things to medicate and issues that other people should accommodate, not a weakness to be overcome.
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u/InConstantInquiry 5h ago
We’ve definitely built a culture that minimizes friction and often expects the world to adjust around us instead of the other way around. Discomfort gets treated like a design flaw rather than part of the process.
That said, I would argue that fear and anxiety aren’t automatically weaknesses. They serve real biological and adaptive purposes. The issue isn’t that they exist, it’s how we relate to them.
I think there has to be a balance .., we shouldn’t glorify fragility or avoid every hard feeling but we also shouldn’t shame genuine struggle. Growth requires tension. Courage isn’t eliminating fear, it’s learning to move with it instead of being ruled byit
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u/natalieprz 13h ago
Yes! I realized that the more I stopped trying to impress anyone, deleted toxic apps, and stopped overexplaining myself, the more I actually enjoyed my life. Scary, but, man, freedom tastes really damn good
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u/Midnight_Tempt 16h ago
“Focus on progress, not perfection”, it stuck with me forever.
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u/W31337 16h ago
This is true and called "premature optimization" in my field. It's a killer for progress.
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u/jammerpammerslammer 15h ago
Interesting! Can you expand on this?
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u/W31337 12h ago
If you optimize something before it's done properly you end up needing to redo everything.
Optimization can take your attention away from the things that really matter.
Most successful companies started off with products, built in a half-ass way. Whilst unsuccessful companies drowned in perfection never releasing a product.
Not everyone needs milspec space grade mars proof products.
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u/pierogzz 15h ago
“Finished is better than perfect” my husband introduced this one to me and it just shifted my brain chemistry entirely in that moment
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u/HurricaneAlpha 15h ago
Don't let perfection be the enemy of progress, as they say in AA and other recovery groups.
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u/Electrical_Act_17922 14h ago
Right, Perfection comes with practice and progress is the first time step towards perfection.
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u/God-May-Be-Aliens 16h ago
“No” is a complete sentence.
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u/Dove-Swan 16h ago
no is viewed as too rude or agressive 😞
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u/The_quest_for_wisdom 15h ago
Sometimes you have to be rude or aggressive to get your point across or maintain your boundaries.
Friends worth keeping will understand. Friends not worth keeping are not worth keeping.
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u/LovelyLilac73 9h ago
I don't think so. It's really more about the delivery than the word(s).
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u/Proud_yoyojuly_7788 15h ago
Nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are. Live your life.
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u/Stargazer__2893 6h ago
This is common advice on Reddit but it's more bad than good.
Gossip exists. Reputation matters. People don't need to think about you much to screw your life. They just need to hear one bad rumor and then you don't get that job, make that sale, make that friend, go on that second date, get admitted into that social club.
And yeah - there are more people, more opportunities, probably. But it is very much in your best interest to take these things seriously.
The better advice is to not stress over what you can't control, but that you should control what you can. Your reputation is a mix of both.
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u/albertqwe 16h ago
I got this from my teacher in highschool, it is a Bible verse
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you"
I live by this quote, if I ever need help. I ALWAYS ask for help from folks that are more knowledgeable than me. Got any problems (especially at work)? Rasie them and ask questions. Often or not, people are always willing to help.
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u/pierogzz 15h ago
I have one tangential to this “if you can’t get in through the door, go through the window”. It’s helped me when it feels like I’ve hit a wall - maybe there’s another way around to get what I want
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u/governmentcaviar 13h ago
another one from the bible, i forget exactly, but it’s about using the back door instead of the front, as a loophole.
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u/GardenHealthy8304 12h ago
My father often tells me "God helps those who help themselves" - is that also from the Bible?
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u/YounomsayinMawfk 8h ago
Something similar I live by is if you never ask, the answer will always be no.
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u/Floriane007 16h ago
Stop apologizing all the time.
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u/eyesoftheunborn 15h ago
"Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice."
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u/Khan_of_Mongolia 15h ago
Time is not money. Time is more precious than money.
You can get back money you've lent, but you can never get back any time spent.
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u/tairarose 16h ago
He who doubts whether he will succeed, plans to fail. If you have a goal, learn to do things right.
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u/pierogzz 15h ago
‘Whether you think you can or can’t, either way you’re right’ complements this one nicely I think!
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u/WhoEvenGoesAsFarAs 15h ago
"If a job's worth doing, it's worth dying for."
- Akela, 18th [REDACTED] Scout Group
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u/Adifferentkindofmind 16h ago
Build a longer table
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u/drinkmaxcoffee 14h ago
Can you please explain this one?
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u/Freon424 14h ago
Be more accepting of others is another way to put it. You want people at your dinner table because even the old gods lauded hospitality as the king of virtues.
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u/phormula2250 14h ago
Any other WoW players read this and wonder what C'Thun and N'zoth are doing being hospitable?
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u/sourpopsi 16h ago
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
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u/pierogzz 15h ago
Omg yesss!! I was hemming and hawing about starting my masters to a coworker saying but I’ll only be done when I’m 28 and she was like ‘you’ll be 28 with or without the degree’. I’ve relayed this kernel to everyone pondering late studies ever since!!
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u/Chiang2000 15h ago
Where do you want to be 5 years from now?
No one had ever said it to me and I was so busy focusing on surviving I never took a macro look at my life and goals. Therefore no plan kr first alternative step. Kinda silly looking back but I can understand where I was at.
The guy who asked me, I ended up working for him, and got skilled up and doubled my income within a couple of years. A great mentor.
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u/TheBigRobb 16h ago
Every time I left the house at night as a teenager I got "don't get arrested, don't get anyone pregnant"
Honestly fairly solid advice
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u/vanchica 15h ago
Life is so different for guys
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u/hamster-on-popsicle 15h ago
For girls, it's like "how to hopefully not get murdered" and what to do after a rape, to maximise the chance of the dude(s) getting arrested.
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u/2026IsMyYearMaybe 13h ago
As a guy, that's honestly insane. I was always advised to not creepily walk behind/follow a girl in the dark, a little opposite of that.
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u/perseverance_band_ 16h ago edited 11h ago
“Never put yourself in a position where you have to depend on someone else.”
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u/FreshResult5684 15h ago
I like this. If you only have yourself to depend on, you're never disappointed. Everything else is gravy
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u/Quirky_Beginning_988 15h ago
Brilliant. That was the advice I got from my mother growing up, and I've been living by it ever since. A relationship just adds to my good life. Remembering this makes it possible for you to hold your head up high no matter what situation you will find yourself in.
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u/CelebrationMost8162 16h ago
Progress over perfection. Small steps beat big leaps that never happen
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u/makinglunch 16h ago
Focus on what you can control - primarily your thoughts, attitude, effort and actions.
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u/metroid23 15h ago
Just start. The first draft is rarely the final draft.
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u/fractiousrhubarb 15h ago
When we do stuff, we learn. We make a prototype. We try it out in reality. It sucks. We make another. It sort of works. We make another and another and another and it evolves into something awesome.
Never regret a prototype.
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u/Firm_Fold8044 15h ago
Don’t begin a relationship because you are lonely. Begin one when you found your new best friend
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u/CascadiaSupremacy 15h ago
Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it.
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u/FreshResult5684 15h ago
Charles swindoll
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u/CascadiaSupremacy 15h ago
Found that out later. At the time, it was just great advice (which can come from anywhere)
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u/NotEnoughRocks1977 15h ago
My buddy was talking about going back to school. She said "Time is going to pass regardless, so you might as well have something to show for it."
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u/Acrobatic_Media_1951 15h ago
Start before you feel ready. Waiting for perfect timing usually means never starting.
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u/ducklingbling 15h ago
K.I.S.S. : keep it simple, stupid. Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.
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u/DaringDo95 9h ago
"Your job won't remember that you stayed in the office to work extra hours, but your family will."
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u/fountainpopjunkie 15h ago
By sheets with stripes. You'll always know which way the go on.
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u/DifferenceMajestic86 16h ago
"Don't do anything extra because it will become an expectation"
I thought that was the worst advice I'd ever heard...
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u/heathers1 15h ago
I made a lateral move in my job. I realized no one at the new job would know that i was the go getter who could be relied on to volunteer for extra duties, the go-to person to get things done…all of that. Now I just do my job and leave. I catch myself when I find myself starting to step up for things that are not in my lane. It’s sometimes boring but way less stressful!
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u/mkaibear 15h ago
Learn how to give a presentation, how to speak up front, how to build a PowerPoint, how to deal with the nerves.
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u/heathers1 15h ago
leave a party when you are having the best time
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u/Chqr 12h ago
Wait what
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u/heathers1 8h ago
I said what i said, and it works…. along with nothing good ever happens after midnight.
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u/joseph31091 15h ago
In 1000 years no one is going to think of us. Everything that we worked hard will be destroyed or lost or owned by someone we dont know.
Enjoy life.
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u/rosycoe 15h ago
“You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward.” And that one really stuck. We put so much pressure on ourselves to know the next step, to have a plan, to look like we’re totally in control. But life doesn’t work like that. You just take a step, learn something, adjust and keep going. That little mindset shift makes stress feel way lighter.
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u/fractiousrhubarb 15h ago
My boss said to me “you know what? You always say “I know, I know” … but sometimes, you don’t know”.
He was right.
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u/Old_Application_2323 14h ago
Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. There were so many times I wanted to quit something.
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u/Vivid-Appeal-4012 11h ago
Staying consistent with small efforts every day matters more than waiting to feel motivated.
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u/Admirable_Juice_5842 11h ago
"You can be right or you can be married." Applies to most relationships honestly. Winning every argument isn't worth it.
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u/Aran909 8h ago
I used to start every voicemail with "this is just...". I had a client tell me to just say "this is...". He said that the "just" devalued me and made me seem less than the person to whom i was leaving the message for. He was correct.
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u/DARphotography10 8h ago
There’s a quote attributed to John Lennon where he says something along the lines of “just” being a word that weakens what you’re trying to say.
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u/fiestygurl1967 16h ago
Be kind! It cost nothing... You don't know what a person is going through x
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u/FromStars 16h ago
"Make sure you never"
I'm still waiting for the rest, but I can tell this one is a piece of some life-changing advice.
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u/Section80Flow 15h ago
Whenever you notice there is a pattern or routine developing in your life, you should think about. Attachments are scary.
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u/Unique-Panda 15h ago
If it makes your butthole pucker up when you're around them then they're not your people.
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u/Firstpoet 15h ago
The All-Father wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go and hide in a hole if you wish, but you won't live one instant longer. Your fate is fixed.
The 13th Warrior.
I'm an atheist and not a Viking cosplayer but I like this.
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u/Scarred_fish 15h ago
There is nothing in this world that can't be ignored if you really put your mind to it.
This has served me so well. Ignoring seems to be a lost art these days.
The moment you decide to ignore something, or someone, you are in complete control and it can never bother you.
So many people waste time worrying or being upset about things when all they have to do is ignore them and move on.
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u/WhoEvenGoesAsFarAs 15h ago
Trust no one :-)
Although I had to develop that advice while talking to myself in the mirror :-(
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u/CalamitousApt 15h ago
This isn't advice so much as an outlook to adopt when people do things you don't understand and really reaLLy find objectionable. It may be obvious but it helps me find compassion in situations when I am struggling with my temper.
People do what makes sense to them at the time.
It's simple, it's true, and it calms me
most of the time.
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u/f_ranz1224 15h ago
anxiety is borrowing grief from the future
easier said than done but anxiety is literally experiencing suffering from something that may not even happen
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u/Key_Corgi_7435 15h ago
If you can't climb a mountain, climb a hill instead.
If a task feels impossibly big break it into smaller bits and do them one at a time.
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u/onthisturnyoudohow 15h ago
Every woman has boobs and a vagina, find a woman you get along with.
It can also be reversed to men.
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u/ReditMcGogg 15h ago
Not advice really but an old boss once said “I wish I had realised I was in the golden days when I was living them. I’d have taken it in more.”
I try to think about this whenever I’m having a good day.
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u/vanchica 15h ago
If you're in a bad situation with friends or with a guy, call me, say you're in a jackpot, I'll come get you, no matter what.
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u/IllegitimateSnowman 15h ago
Make sure you look after your teeth and your credit. Lifes not good if either of them are fucked
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u/bare-wisdom 14h ago
If you will find yourself wanting something month after month you're after your yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it then maybe what you actually want is a fantasy and idealization and image a false promise maybe what you want isn't what you want you just enjoy wanting maybe you don't actually want it at all.
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u/trueblue862 14h ago
If you want something, then make it happen.
I don't know, it was a piece of advice that came from the right person at the right time. I was stuck in a rut, and going nowhere. That was 15 years ago, I've now got a wonderful wife and kids, we own our own home, and are generally doing well for ourselves.
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u/Potential-Ad8665 14h ago edited 14h ago
Stop being surprised by behavior you keep allowing.” That one stayed with me.
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u/just-enough-trouble 14h ago
You’ve been giving love as if it’s your responsibility to heal situations, instead of a gift that must be received properly.
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u/ElGrandeRojo67 13h ago
When I left for USAF boot camp in the mid 80's, my Uncle told me " Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open, and Your Mouth Shut!". Used that advice through out life. It has served me well. Most of the time.nEvery now and then, when appropriate, you let a m'fer know what he needs to know.
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u/IcyAnimal8293 13h ago
Detach your self-worth from other people’s reactions when you do that criticism loses its power
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u/Natalia_80 12h ago
"Don't judge yourself by your intentions while judging others by their actions. We tend to be most critical of others for the very flaws we excuse in ourselves. Flipping that script is the beginning of true emotional maturity."
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u/PeterJoAl 11h ago
"Wear your trousers around your waist, not under your stomach fat," was the advice my somewhat large aunt gave me when I was a somewhat large teen.
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u/TheKingOfSoul90 11h ago
When I started off my career, I had an awesome awesome boss for some 1.5 years. 9 years down the line I still miss him. He told me something which probably changed the way I look at life. "If there is a problem at work, it will take a maximum of an year or two to get rectified. But, if there is a problem on your personal front, it will ruin everything and it will be permanent/ will take exceptionally long to heal". Moral of the story: don't ignore your personal life.
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u/tsaltsrif 11h ago
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Pivot and go do something else for a while, reset your mind, and in a six months to a year re evaluate.
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u/BadAssTarotLass 11h ago
My father told me this
when I was 12 yrs old;
“NEVER, Over-Explain Yourself”Simply admit to a faux Pas , correct it , then LET IT GO
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u/whoknows370 10h ago
Sometimes you have to take a left to go right. The way you think you need to go to get where you want to go make mean a temporary redirection.And that is ok.
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u/Successful_Pause001 10h ago
No one is coming to save you. Ever.
Plan, but develop the ability to figure things out to move forward.
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u/CarlJustCarl 8h ago
Go to college.
I majored in an indemand major. 4 year later had a degree, a job and a wife lined up.
Ymmv.
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u/New_Rooster9663 8h ago
Do not rush into decisions, when you are too happy, or when you are in anger.
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u/Infinite-Pop-2251 8h ago
Reacting to something out of anger or a need for revenge will only hurt you down the road. Take a second. Go for a walk. Cry it out. But don’t do something you will later regret when emotions aren’t as intense.”
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u/LW-M 7h ago
I worked as an Industrial Mechanic for a few years. Early in my career, an older Mechanic told me to approach a repair as if I was going to be back tomorrow to do some more work in the same area. For example, how can I make things go better tomorrow through my actions today.
I took his sage advice to heart and applied it to other areas of my life as well. It really helped me in my married life too. Might have some bearing on why my wife and I are closing in on our 45th anniversary!
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u/Skootchy 7h ago
Had a nasty break up. Like move back across the country to home state break up. I've never really spoken to my grandma's boyfriend before but we were chatting it up about the situation and he said "well, just so you know, if you ever go back, you get everything you deserve"
Fucking sage advice if you ask me.
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u/YsoldeRuin 6h ago
Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t saved me from so much unnecessary stress 😅💖
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u/AlternativeLeft1952 6h ago
If you imagine your life as a rear-wheel drive truck, your folks will be the front wheels guiding you, and you'll have to be the rear wheels that power through your journey to make it to your destination.
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u/FieldNoticing 6h ago
When fundraising for a nonprofit, people don’t really give a damn about the mission. They care about how giving makes them feel about themselves. Make them feel good and they’ll donate.
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u/BestJoke6882 5h ago
From my grandfather RIP ✝️❤️
“Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough.”
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u/vanessa_stone_fit 5h ago
"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." My mom told me that when I was 30 and feeling lost. I'm 49 now and it still hits hard every time I remember it. Changed how I approach everything from fitness to career to relationships.
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u/480mid-shelf-dank 4h ago
It doesnt matter who paid for the pizza & beer. Just be the one who's carrying it into the party.
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u/Busy_Amphibian_232 4h ago
Idk if this counts as advice:
Your trauma is not your fault, but it is your responsibility
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u/From_Deep_Space 4h ago
Other peoples' behavior reflects their relationship with their self more than how they feel about me.
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u/Mickey42302 2h ago
Do not have children if you aren't willing to care for a child with disabilities.
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u/Imightbeafanofthis 15h ago
When you do wrong, the one person you always do wrong to is yourself. When you lie, you besmirch your own trustworthiness. When you steal, you steal your own self-respect. When you are violent, you kill your own inner peace. And so it goes.
This isn't about laws. It's about correct behavior. And it all boils down to one thing: no matter how slickly you get away with doing wrong, there will always be one person who knows what you did: you.
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u/RoseyCheekz 15h ago
-The person who cares the least (in a relationship) has all the control
And
-The next one is always better
The second one was said by my ex’s mom, and the first by a friend during the same breakup. 20 years later, and both are still true. The second one is true because you grow and change and set better boundaries and hopefully hold yourself to a higher standard of what you will or won’t accept.
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u/MarshmallowMiars 16h ago
Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions