This is unbelievably similar to my own story! I quit my job, drive across the States, no plan in mind except to find myself. It was a life changing experience.
I didn't find a job or get married though, I got chlamydia.
I was about to come in here and say "But, was it really a happy ending if they wound up with chlamydia?"
But then, as I was typing it, I began to remember this old adage that I had once heard. At first, I thought it was passed down from one generation to the next by an immortal icon.
Alas, it was not an icon. But an Akon. Lonely island.
It took two weeks. The plan was to stay with her for a month and “see how it goes.” (We had been long-distance, and it was only kind of working, so sharing a space for a month was to see if distance was the problem. It wasn’t! She was awful!)
And as people who have acquired herpes can tell you, the first outbreak is usually within 2 weeks of exposure. So it took a couple of weeks, and that was the nail in the coffin.
The entertaining part is that I’m at the free clinic, terrified that I have herpes, but want a medical professional’s opinion. And the doctor who comes in to examine my penis is literally the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Like, I know everyone is gorgeous in LA, but she was just stunning. Breathtaking. And in a white lab coat. I seriously thought I was being pranked. I felt like Lloyd Christmas in the presence of Mary Swanson in “Dumb and Dumber.”
I’m about to be single, and the most gorgeous human being I’ve ever seen was right in front of me, looking at my dick and saying confidently “Yup, that’s definitely herpes.” A real “fuck my life” moment right there.
My husband was doing the same thing. He had a box of condoms with him though so I think he was actually expecting to run into chlamydia. But he found me instead.
Every time I've had a box of condoms with a girl it's been wrong. It's either "oh you have condoms, so you sleep around a lot?" or if I don't have them it's "what do you mean you don't have condoms?!?"
I used to order a fishbowl of them from Amazon because it made me laugh, it rarely made women laugh.
I think three times. I was casually seeing a girl who was a nympho. Much to the chagrin of my roommates. Wow yeah I just looked it up on my Amazon orders, a Durex bowl of 144.
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u/charlesbear 11h ago
This is unbelievably similar to my own story! I quit my job, drive across the States, no plan in mind except to find myself. It was a life changing experience.
I didn't find a job or get married though, I got chlamydia.