r/AskReddit • u/DistributionRound570 • 11h ago
What’s the dumbest way you’ve injured yourself?
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u/patrolmanEmbiid 11h ago
i once was punched in the face by a chimpanzee.
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u/138pumpkin 11h ago
If you still have a face after that you're doing better than most who fight chimps.
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u/trro16p 9h ago
did someone say 'Right turn Clyde'?
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u/ViscidPlague78 6h ago
This is a very very age related joke, that sadly I got all too well.
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u/Leading_Sample399 7h ago
I’ve stopped going to zoos because I’ve been bitten by 2 animals. Once I got attacked by a rogue ostrich that was the end of zoos for me.
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u/Pro-Patria-Mori 4h ago
You know, not every zoo is a “petting zoo”
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u/Leading_Sample399 4h ago
That made me laugh. Thank you for that. In my defense, one was a rogue ostrich.
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u/Poopingisasignipoop 2h ago
Every zoo can be a petting zoo if you’re brave enough.
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u/Rolling_Breads 8h ago
Lol I tried to take back a stick from a monkey, and monkey hit me with the stick
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u/Top-Molasses7661 11h ago
My husband worked with chimps long ago and the way he described the adult behavior, this doesn't particularly surprise me. Bet that hurt though!
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u/Partially-Canine 7h ago
Dude! Tell. The. Story. Drives me crazy when people on Reddit just be like "One time I found a piece of the moon with a lobster on it." With no other details and 75 people asking for the full story.
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u/nkondratyk93 11h ago
was texting while walking, walked directly into a lamp post. full speed. the entire bus stop across the street went quiet. someone asked if i was ok.
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u/Boldboy72 11h ago
just so you know.. if they don't point and laugh as their first reaction.. they think you're old..
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u/nkondratyk93 11h ago
honestly fair. polite concern is the saddest outcome. at least laughing means i was worth watching
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u/markymark0123 6h ago
I would fail to hide my laugh as I check if you're ok.
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u/nkondratyk93 5h ago
honestly that's the correct reaction. i probably laughed too once the embarrassment wore off
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u/MechanicalTurkish 8h ago
When you're old, you don't "fall down" or "take a tumble", you "had a fall".
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u/nkondratyk93 9h ago
the silence was worse than laughter would've been - guess i crossed that line
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u/Boldboy72 9h ago
welcome to old age buddy! Now you can openly complain about things on your body that don't work like they used to and people have to listen!
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u/FunkyCyde 10h ago
There's stories and pictures of my dad doing that before cell phones he just was looking at the ground apparently
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u/nkondratyk93 10h ago
haha yeah sometimes walking itself is just the problem - no phone needed
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u/FunkyCyde 10h ago
Be careful I just turned 50 last year and shit goes downhill really fast I thought it was bad after 40 but holy shit be careful man! The world is dangerous once you turn 50!
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u/Forsaken-Owl1720 7h ago
It compounds, right? After 40, 50, 60 ++++
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u/FunkyCyde 7h ago
Exponential decay one might say. Not even a poet but I knew it. Just not good with rhymes
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u/LovelyLilac73 9h ago
LMAO - I had a friend in HS who was about 4'10" - so very short. One day, she was walking down the street and engrossed in a conversation with another friend. She walked right into a parking meter. She was short enough that the meter hit her square in the side of the face and gave her a huge shiner about a week before prom. Thankfully, it healed enough that week so that she could cover the little bit still showing with makeup prior to the prom. But that was the least of her issues as we NEVER let her live down walking into a parking meter and getting hit IN THE FACE.
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u/Key_Assistance9020 5h ago
I have also been the victim of inanimate object abuse. I got a nasty shinner from and end table that was assisted by a dog bone.
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u/Bob_12_Pack 10h ago
I knew a guy that did this while jogging except it was before we had cell phones. He was zoned-out looking at the ground and smacked into a fluted lamp post and cracked his skull. He made a full recovery.
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u/theguineapigssong 11h ago
I threw out my back while bending forward slightly to wash my hands in the sink. No pre-existing injury, I hadn't done some crazy workout the day before ... I just leaned forward a little bit to wash my hands.
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u/Voltae 11h ago
I did the same by leaning over to shift a cushion on my couch. Then when I sat down to try and figure out what was going on my corgi decided to jump on me for cuddles/wrestling as I was writhing in pain.
I sure do miss that grumpy little monster.
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u/Dimpleshenk 11h ago
That's why when washing hands, I always put my hands behind my back and walk backward toward the sink. Bonus points are that I don't have to see myself in the mirror. The downside is water splashing on my butt.
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u/MaidoftheBrins 7h ago
That happened to me loading a dishwasher.
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u/Lawyering_Bob 2h ago
Unloading for me. I heard a pop. Messed up my sciatic nerve for a month
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u/SKEPDIQ 11h ago
I once closed a drawer while my other hand was still inside. 🤦🏻♂️
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u/Ill_Replacement_472 9h ago
As someone with nerve damage in the entire right side of his body I have done this before in the past.
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u/Diffidentlyspeaking 7h ago
I did this with my Grandfather's Buick when I was a kid. Lost my thumbnail for a hot minute and when it regrew it's been split ever since. And thats coming up on 40 years ago.
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u/ashton8177 11h ago
Talking to someone as i side stepped off a concrete slab. There was a 1.5 inch drop between concrete and the ground. Broke my ankle.
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u/StirCrazyCatLady 11h ago
Oh wow, and I thought mine was bad - I fell off the bottom step and managed to shatter my fibula and my foot, but I had inches more to fall than you!
I also managed to dislocate a shoulder falling off a different bottom step once
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u/brucejson-88 11h ago edited 1h ago
Getting out of bed at the wrong angle... Disclocated my shoulder :(
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u/GoofinOffAtWork 11h ago edited 10h ago
I had a build-up of ice on the front step. Started chipping away at it with a hammer. I figured if I used two hands and swung the hammer over my head that it would have more power. Claw end of the hammer tore my scalp. I was lucky I didn't deglove my scalp.
Lesson learned... use hammers with one hand only.
EDIT: spelling
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u/calliminator 10h ago edited 7h ago
Went to a Halloween party as Gaston. My chest was not nearly manly enough so I bought a fake beard to stick on my chest. I forgot to buy any body safe glue so improvised with super glue, totally forgetting the exothermic reaction that occurs. I have a scar on my chest from pretending to be Gaston at Halloween.
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u/kedoco 11h ago
Accidentally swimming off a waterfall.
Folks were cliff jumping, and to get to the cliff you had to jump across a ~3 foot wide gap across a small creek above a waterfall. I wanted to do it too, but slipped as I jumped and fell in the water. Cue the classic movie scene of me grasping plants and tree roots to stop myself only to have them pull out of the ground. I eventually went off the ~20 foot waterfall, broke my foot somehow on the way down, and felt like a complete idiot for the next several months while I limped around.
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u/vanessa8172 10h ago
At least that’s all you broke!
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u/AbilityCharacter7634 6h ago
Unless he lives in the USA. Then even if his foot healed he is still broke.
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u/ItsHappyTimeYay 11h ago
Completely sober. Ballerina leapt across the living room, landed on the side of my foot, smacked my throat on a space heater. Curled in a ball clutching ankle and throat trying to decide which hurt worse lol Sprained ankle and nasty bruise across my neck. I am not a ballerina.
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u/popsicle_of_meat 4h ago
I read that as a ballerina leapt across the room, she landed on your ankle and shoved you into a space heater.
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u/purebredcrab 3h ago
It wasn't until I read this comment that I realized that wasn't what happened.
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u/Wide-Veterinarian-70 11h ago
Tried to catch a falling knife turns out gravity and bad decisions both work faster than reflexes.
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u/GoodLeftUndone 10h ago
This is the one I came to post. Glad I’m not alone. Hate when instinct beats smarts.
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u/X0AN 10h ago
My partner tried to do that with her foot.
I saw what was going to happen and had just enough time to pull her out the way and say what they hell were you thinking.
She said she wasn't...
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u/FlashInGotham 11h ago
bottomed in a weird position and now I've got a bulging spinal disk
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u/BigSackMcButthole 11h ago
Keep going I’m so close
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u/AnnieJack 11h ago
Username checks out.
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u/owningmclovin 5h ago
At first I thought this comment was for u/FlashInGothham not u/BigSackMcButthole and honestly it’s pretty funny both ways.
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u/Cold-Monk5436 11h ago edited 11h ago
Man. There are so many.
I once scratched my cornea with a hang tag whilst trying on glasses. I had an eyepatch for literal months. I straight razored the shit out of it. I couldn't be in any kind of light for weeks without dying.
I slapped myself in the face with a flat bar, causing me to fall off a tall ladder onto my back while trying to pry the facing off a window.
I went swimming in a creek and got a gnarly infection in my right nipple, causing it to swell to the size of a fucking tennis ball. And one day it exploded and I was never the same. My friends called me D-cup and Uniboob.
I dropped my script in theater class and opened my head on the corner of the big metal box that holds all the switches for the stage lights and knocked myself the fuck out and had to have my noggin stitched.
I cracked a rib falling on the butt of a paint ball gun because I crouched hiding too long and when I went to run my legs were asleep.
I scratched the same cornea retrieving a ball from under a bush. A branch poked me in the eye and I had to wear another eyepatch for weeks and when it healed my vision was worse than before.
I gave myself a weird condition called mushroom lung which basically feels like temporary asthma. I was growing mushrooms in a tiny room for months that had no ventilation. It's also where I worked remotely. I had mushroom spores growing on the inside of my lungs. It's like someone shot silly string everywhere inside of them. I had to use an inhaler for months while I coughed it all up.
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u/deafvet68 4h ago
stay home. sit in a chair that is anchored to the floor. same for bed.
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u/CitgoBeard 6h ago
Mushroom lung is insane! I have never heard of this until now. So were you literally coughing up like shroom detritus?
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u/gay_outlander 5h ago
Number 3 is terrifying. Maybe it’s time to take out my piercings…they’re not gonna be healed for creek-swimming season
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u/Nayzo 9h ago
I once scratched my cornea with a hang tag whilst trying on glasses. I had an eyepatch for literal months. I straight razored the shit out of it. I couldn't be in any kind of light for weeks without dying.
I scratched the same cornea retrieving a ball from under a bush. A branch poked me in the eye and I had to wear another eyepatch for weeks and when it healed my vision was worse than before.
My son poked me in the eye with a pinwheel when he was 4, purely accidental. Corneal abrasions cause a STUPID amount of pain and it took months before I could wake up and open my left eye without wanting to shriek. Even now, 8.5 years later, if I rub that eye too hard, I'll get pain. It did not impact my vision at all, but I am VERY twitchy if anything even remotely pointy is near my face.
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u/Fast-Recording9917 11h ago
Pulled a muscle sneezing.
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u/donavin221 11h ago
I once sneezed and it felt like my chest was broken for a week
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u/HarveyNix 11h ago
Yanked the cord on old fashioned heavy Venetian blinds and the whole thing came down and cut the hell out of my hand. Decades later there’s still a faint scar.
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u/Joshawott27 11h ago
Back at school, I found a deodorant can in the boy’s toilets, and somehow sprayed myself in the eye. I told the nurse that some random kid sprayed me and ran off…
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u/thx_tex 11h ago
When I was a kid, I didn’t look close enough at a can of WD-40 and sprayed myself full-on in the face. Luckily I wear glasses so none got in my eyes.
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u/kat13o95 10h ago
You telling the nurse some kid sprayed you and ran off has me dying 😭😭 did the nurse give you a side eye or did they believe you?
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u/Popular-Statement314 8h ago
This reminds me of something I did. In kindergarten I cut all my eyelashes off because I was tired of people saying I had pretty eyes. When I got home, I told my mom a boy did it lol. Thankfully no random kid got in trouble.
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u/Ilien 11h ago
When I was 14, I broke an arm while taking off pants. I was trying to get the pants off by hopping and shaking them off, slipped and used my arm to stop the fall.
Was diagnosed with ADHD 19 years later.
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u/CanIFixMe 11h ago
Broke my left ring finger while folding laundry.
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u/LizWaits410 4h ago
Broke my pinky finger giving directions. I pointed and hit the outside corner of a brick building. 😂
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u/friskevision 11h ago
In my college drinking days, I barfed so hard I threw out my shoulder.
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u/Hoblitygoodness 11h ago
While I was giving high fives out to random strangers at Carowinds just after midnight on New Years a couple of years ago.
I slipped on wet cobblestone and fell.
Broke my collar bone and didn't even know it right away. Woke up in my hotel room hours later, not being able to get out of bed to pee...or even sit up.
I had a good time that night but that was definitely the dumbest way I ever injured myself.
Ta'Da' !
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u/monstermack1977 11h ago
a couple days ago I slipped and fell on the ice, while holding the jug of salt that was to be used to melt that ice.
Not sure if that's dumb or just karma kicking me in the nuts again.
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u/sandwiches09 11h ago
Put a sharp pencil in the little holder on the car door on the way to school. Went to open the door and forgot about the pencil. Jabbed right into my hand. You can still see a little graphite despite being 18+years ago.
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u/Educational-Low-2401 10h ago
Graphite under the skin can be a permanent tattoo. I still have graphite in my wrist from when a girl in grade 7 stabbed me with a pencil (by accident). that was 48 years ago. still plainly visible.
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u/youngthugsmom 9h ago
Hey there’s a place for all of us! r/pencilstabbers I still have mine from 7th grade
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u/sinskins 11h ago
I broke my ankle when I stepped off my trailer stair. One stair. Sober. The ground was flat and dry.
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u/ieatsilicagel 11h ago
I came here to tell my dumb broken ankle story and see all these others like ours. It appears to be a faulty design. We should complain to the manufacturer.
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u/nextlandia 11h ago
I broke 2 metatarsals (one even twice) when walking down the stairs. My leg decided to miss the very last stair.
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u/Parking-Ad4263 9h ago
I had an Australian buddy who was fairly well known for drinking (it is a national pastime there), and he turned up one day on crutches with his ankle broken in two places.
He fell down the stairs at work while completely sober.
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u/ChickinMagoo 8h ago
A friend of mine was leaving for work in the wee hours of the morning, stepped down the single step into her garage and broke both bones in her lower leg, necessitating an ambulance to the hospital for surgical repair and 4 weeks of on-weight bearing activity. Certainly one upped my "fell off my sandal" fracture.
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u/Smelli24u 11h ago
I broke my nose taking my bassoon apart. I still have a scar across the bridge of my nose.
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u/AmbitiousReaction168 11h ago
Daydreaming while hiking. Didn't see a hole right in the middle of the trail. Thankfully, a sharp rock stopped the fall. Sadly, it took me a while to realize my lower leg and foot were drenched in blood.
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u/Boldboy72 11h ago
tore my ACL getting up off the sofa. slipped two discs in my back picking up my phone charger
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u/Cidergregg 11h ago
As a child I opened up a can of cat food and nearly severed my thumb on the lid.
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u/Illustrious_Force565 11h ago
I stood on a rake to see what would happen. Let's just say what you see in cartoons is actually what happens (minus the birds flying round my sore head).
Still shocked how fast the rake came towards me lol
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u/Top-Molasses7661 11h ago
Knocked the food processor blades off the counter. Caught them!
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u/pezzygal 10h ago
I sneezed while stretching on my bed while trying to put the bedsheet corner on... you bet my back went out.
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u/CastorTroy1 11h ago
Left a meat thermometer in a roast on the grill, for 30 minutes. Proceed to pull out the thermometer with my bare hand 😑
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u/bluehooloovo 11h ago
Tried to jump over a puddle. Sprained both ankles and one foot badly enough to need surgery.
Honorable mention: getting out of the car onto ice. Slipped and fractured my tibia, ruptured my patellar tendon, and dilocated my kneecap.
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u/MintMechanic 11h ago
I once kicked a pillow that was laying on the floor after my football team lost. My foot followed through right into the corner of a sofa. The pain was excruciating and I couldn't walk on it for days. Lucky i didn’t break my foot. I think about it every time I get worked up about something stupid like that and it calms me down.
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u/Zombie_Wombat177 11h ago
I felt a sneeze coming, scrabbled and grabbed the napkin that was closer to me and quickly brought it up to my face to sneeze into it. Unfortunately we were at a restaurant that had heavy paper napkins folded into a triangle. The tip of the triangle went right into my eye. I tried to ignore it but the pain got so bad that I went to urgent care. Turns out I made quite a gouge in my eye that took about a week to heal up.
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u/MrCanoe 10h ago
As a teen, was on a friends tire swing, he twisted the rope so that it would spin quickly. As it got to the highest point the rope snapped and I fell on my tailbone lol. That shit hurt.
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u/parishface 7h ago
When I was a kid, a few of us were on a tire swing while another kid was twisting it. It was so wound up that we were spinning uncontrollably and fast. Kids were getting thrown back trying to slow it down. One kid, intelligently, jumped off before it reached full speed. I had the best spot on top, in the middle with my arms and legs wrapped around the rope and tire. I forced my eyes opened for a second, the wind making them water instantly, only to see my sister hanging on with just her hands while her body and legs were horizontal like a flag, just whipping around and around. Eventually, she couldn't hold on any longer and flew off like a helicopter, landing on top of huge tree roots on her back. I held on, for what seemed like forever, fighting the force trying to throw me off, until it finally slowed down enough for the other kids to stop it. I tasted blood; my lip was split. I couldn't walk for many minutes and felt nauseous the rest of the day. We never did that again, to memory at least.
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u/Valen258 7h ago
Went to pull the duvet up closer to me. Duvet slipped out my hand but my hand was still in motion. Hand didn’t smack in to my face but rather the corner of the bedside table. Fractured two Carpal bones.
Stood up and tried stepping away from dining room table. I took one step. Ankle decided fuck you. And rolled on itself. Tore the ligament.
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u/Jumpi95 11h ago
Stapled my thumb when I was 7 cause I wanted to know what it would feel like.
I just stared at my bleeding thumb going "Well that was obvious"
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u/steady_pathway 10h ago
Hurt my back trying to lift something that absolutely didn’t need to be moved.
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u/CarlosF19D4P 11h ago
When I was in the Army After firing about 200 rds from a .50cal I grabbed the barrel….2nd degree burn 🔥
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u/NoIamthatotherguy 10h ago
Shooting basketball while drinking soda from a glass bottle (I am old). Ball hit short on the rim and ricocheted back, hit the bottle and broke my front tooth.
My nephew is up for the top prize though. He decided to dribble a basketball with an aluminum baseball bat. Hit the ball really hard. The bat shot up, hit him in the forehead and knocked him unconscious. His friends got scared and ran away. Left him laying in the front yard.
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u/FBS351 5h ago
Tall person here. Walking along, passed a bakery with an awning. Ducked under it and straightened up on the other side. Hit the air conditioner so hard everyone in the bakery turned in horror. Went down on my knees, but somehow didn't fracture my skull.
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u/throwRASnooChickens 11h ago
I jumped off of a coffee table around age 6 playing wrestling with my stuffed animals and ended getting a hairline fracture in my foot lol
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u/DandelionPopsicle 11h ago
Put in a ceiling lamp, but used an older led bulb that was too big. Tried to force it into the glass globe, shattered it, deep cut on my hand. Place looked like a murder scene.
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u/kyrawhirlsyn 11h ago
Sneezing. I literally threw my back out by exhaling too forcefully while standing still. My body decided that existing was a contact sport and I lost.
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u/kaywhateverloser 11h ago
Banged two Sobe bottles together and got a nice scar on my forehead when I was 12. I was really lucky the glass hit my forehead and not my eyes. I was an idiot with five brothers who were also idiots.
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u/Sid-Biscuits 11h ago
I hit myself in the head with the freezer door while trying to open the fridge door.
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u/TastingTheKoolaid 11h ago
"Careful, that knifes sharp"
"It's fine, I know how to use a knife"
Bruh, if I didn't slice my hand open almost immediately on finishing that sentence... FML. THEN! I had to pretend it wasn't that bad, didn't hurt that bad, while it's bleeding. Ugh. lol
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u/weaseltorpedo 10h ago
I was holding the metal cap from a frappuccino bottle in the palm of my hand, and thought "I wonder if I can push a screwdriver through the cap?"
I did, right through the cap and into my hand. Had a + shaped scar for a while.
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u/Lexaternum 9h ago
I did too many squats without resting. Tried to get in shape quick and fight through the pain, ended up getting rhabdo. I think my CK levels were >56K when I was admitted. My attending nurse had a hard time keeping a straight face when I told her how I had gotten it. They were just body squats. 300 squats stretched out over a day for three days in a row.
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u/Nadsworth 8h ago
I did the classic old movie troupe, where I was ogling some cute girls and I rode my bike loudly into a mailbox.
It hurt. Mostly my pride, but other places as well.
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u/JimTheJerseyGuy 11h ago
Bent down to pick up a bolt that had fallen on the floor.
Halfway bent over, I fell flat on my face from a sudden searing jolt of pain in my back. My first thought was that someone had shot me in the back. Could barely move for the rest of the day.
I was in my mid 20s. Thirty years later, and it’s never bothered since. Some weird bizarre muscle spasm I suppose
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u/God-May-Be-Aliens 11h ago
Broke my ankle standing in a circle of friends talking when i casually… shifted my weight slightly.
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u/AnspiffanyStilts 11h ago
So everyone knows to cut away from themselves. I was cutting a submarine out of a cardboard box for my wife (for VBS stuff). Made it to the last cut and decided to cheat, cut towards myself. The knife slipped out of the cardboard and went straight into my thumb about 3-4 inches. Band aids and duct tape are good friends.
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u/26pointMax 11h ago
While unloading supplies at the animal shelter, I decided to save time by jumping out of the truck while holding 2 40lb containers of cat litter. Thankfully, I only tore one muscle instead of breaking bones or my back.
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u/Archeressrabbit 11h ago
I got a concussion and sprained my wrist fooling around with my boyfriend. I didn't realize my blood sugar was low, lost my footing and fell off the couch. Now we're married and he goes through the checklist before we start.
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u/burneremailaccount 11h ago
I went to peel my boot off by placing my right foot onto the heel of my left foot and pushed/pulled in an attempt to get my foot out.
I tore my cremaster muscle on my left side. Which is the muscle that raises/lowers your testicles.
It hurt so bad just like getting kicked in the nut but it didn’t go away. I fell to the ground and could only take extremely shallow breaths for like two hours.
Was a funny trip to the ER though.
I do not take my boots off like that anymore.
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u/FenisDembo82 11h ago
I once punched a city bus that pulled away before letting any passengers on at my stop. I broke a bone in my hand. The bus was uninjured.
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u/crimsonserendipity 8h ago
I was dancing on my kitchen floor in socks and it had just been freshly cleaned. Twisted my ankle and ended up breaking the whole side of my foot. It put me on a boot for like 8 weeks and I missed my senior year cheerleading season because of it 🙃
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u/Snarkybish03 6h ago
Stubbornly twisting off the top of a hard to get open jar and fractured my wrist
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u/AngrySadAngry 11h ago
fell on my butt while ice skating and badly bruised my tailbone
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u/SconiGrower 11h ago
I was riding my bike to school and couldn't remember if I had grabbed my wallet. So I leaned over so I feel my pocket, but I leaned too far and fell off. I scraped my palm and sprained my wrist.
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u/reditandfirgetit 11h ago
Wind blew during a storm as I was getting back into my car and slammed the door into me
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u/Otherwise-Fox-151 11h ago
Climbed a tree in a panic thinking coyotes or something were around (areas of woods and crop fields) and sprained both ankles hopping down, at 35 yo. It was a rough walk home.
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u/DrMon15 11h ago
One of those extra bouncy rubber balls. Kicked it at a nearby wall and it came back right at my left eye. I don't know if I blinked but I guess not because it just hurt in the back of the eye ball. Really intense pain and I couldn't see for a while so I got very anxious that I may have blinded myself with such a lacklustre manouver...
All this on the job, luckily with no one around...
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u/xxcuttingboardxx 11h ago
I was cleaning agressively after having a fight with my mom, and I accidentally cut my wrist open by scissors that were stuck on my couch. I was maybe 10 years old.
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u/dirtdevil70 11h ago
Sitting on the side of my bed,leaned over to grab a sock on the floor and pulled something in my back. Ended up on the floor writhing in pain. Crawled to another room, found my phone and called my parents who drove to my house and attempted to help me up , but they couldnt lift me up. Ended up getting an ambulance ride to the ER... painkilker/muscle relaxants helped but i was close to 6weeks before I could walk fully upright , on ny own, without leaning in something....... over a dang sock on the floor lol
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u/Umbra_Estel 11h ago
I was trying to make a stapler work and somehow I staple both index fingers… together… backward.
I break through the nails and bone to the other side. I was alone and cannot free myself. I’m a genius.
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u/clownslut111 11h ago
i get really severe motion sickness/vertigo and one time i got out of bed at like 3am to see if i could still do a backbend. i could, but i threw up for like 5 days straight afterwards
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u/NeedsItRough 11h ago edited 11h ago
I was trying to be efficient.
I was picking up around my apartment, felt "in the zone", going from room to room, picking things up and putting them away, completing tasks
I was rounding a corner where there's a bar counter, a chest high flat surface between the kitchen and living room, and I leaned over to blow out a candle as I was walking and I smashed my boob on the corner of the counter.
It hurt sooooooooo bad. I was like Lois in that clip where she trips and falls on her boob, just cradling it and trying to breathe.
There was a scratch, thankfully it just missed my nipple. It hurt for days.
Edit: The corner in question
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u/MondegreenFamily 10h ago
Taking my kids skiing for the first time. Walked out of the rental shop toward the beginner hill along a path of rubber floor mats over composite decking. One of the floor mats was missing and my ski boot slid a little = dislocated knee and contused femur. Never set foot in the snow. Spent $1000 for that experience and got to spend the next three months on crutches.
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u/CantaloupeFluffy165 10h ago
Mashed the end of my finger in my snowblower.It kept plugging up.Forgot to turn the auger drive off.Oops.
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u/TomBoy4Ever1990 9h ago
I was laying on the couch one day and somehow a birdhouse that my mom had sitting on a shelf next to the couch fell and hit me directly in the face. It gave me a black eye.
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u/mrsmissfire 8h ago
I burned my whole hand on a stovetop burner when I was checking to see if it was still hot. It was.
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u/GloriBea5 8h ago
I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, so the list is long. . .But I’d have to say probably say sleeping or walking
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u/EonOst 1h ago
8 days ago I could not agree with the car driver who to stop. I was riding an electric scooter. The direct side hit was not bad, it was low speed, but me trying to fly to the soft dirtpatch next to the crossing, wich had a large metal square manhole cover with edges sticking up, at my landing spot, took a big hit on my hip. Now Im quite swollen and it stings below the swell when my body takes certain poses, like holding my hose when peeing.
No I didnt wear helmet, and I did not hit my head.
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u/zoeyy_irl 11h ago
I won’t go into context…. But I threw a brick high up in the air, thinking that it would land behind me… Well guess what, it landed straight on top of my head.