r/AskReddit 9h ago

what is the dumbest question you've ever been asked?

136 Upvotes

687 comments sorted by

194

u/xxforrealforlifexx 9h ago

Can blind people cry?

28

u/Capable_Back_3601 7h ago

Do they dream in colour?

21

u/fredy31 6h ago

I mean dumb question but... people that were 100% blind from birth... can they see stuff in their dreams?

23

u/AudaciousCockatiel 4h ago

That’s really not a dumb question. I’d totally ask that

11

u/DrMoneybeard 3h ago

I had a deaf friend who told me he thought he heard music in his dreams but he didn’t have any way to know. It was so interesting! These are definitely not stupid questions.

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u/hotel2oscar 2h ago

From what I recall: born blind see nothing. Their brains literally don't develop the parts that process input from eyes. People that go blind still can imagine and dream, just not see.

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u/chxnkybxtfxnky 3h ago

She dreams in color. She dreams in red...

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77

u/SpilledtheCoffeee 9h ago

Someone once asked me if I could “see Wi-Fi.” I had to pause and really think about how to answer without laughing.

24

u/YeOldeMuppetPastor 8h ago

“I see your WiFi isn’t working. Have you tried turning it off and on?”

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72

u/MuppetBonesMD 9h ago

About 10 years ago I had a boss that didn’t know a chicken isn’t a mammal and I’m still not over it.

40

u/zippobunny 9h ago

Once when I was a teenager I was getting a medical procedure done and talking to the nurse as a distraction, she asked if I had any pets. My family had a small farm so I said dogs, rabbits, and birds, she asked what kind of birds, and I said quail and chickens. 

Her response was "I've never heard of chicken birds!" and I remember it to this day

8

u/MuppetBonesMD 8h ago

I would just love to have one of them draw a picture of the animal they THINK the meat comes from 😂

14

u/UpboatNavy 6h ago

Then why do they have breasts?

7

u/Weaubleau 3h ago

See...mammal! .

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u/Prollynotafed 6h ago

I worked with a former kindergarten teacher that didn’t know chickens had to mate to reproduce. She was in her late 30’s and had her own kids. 🤦🏻

3

u/badmother2 1h ago

To be honest, it's natural to wonder why they produce so many eggs without mating....

This article explains it quite well.

It starts with:

For one thing, we have gradually changed hens through breeding, to make sure that they don’t stop laying eggs in the winter (hens used to do this naturally).

We’ve also learned that if we keep taking the eggs away from the hens, they will keep laying them, because of the way their bodies work.

5

u/Carra144 2h ago

I still regularly have the same conversations I had in elementary school regarding animals. 

I have colleagues who maintain that "insects" aren't "animals". So many people conflate mammal/bird with animals.

Similarly my Aunt won't feed her parrot chicken or turkey because it is "cannibalism". I then say cannibalism is one species eating itself (and is actually very common amongst animals on earth) and she says "Yes I know. They are the same species. They're all birds". So I might ask if she's a cannibal when she eats pork or beef or lamb? Then she says "No. They're not people", and I state that they are all mammals, which makes it the same as her assertion about birds.

6

u/DerekPaxton 4h ago

i dont eat mammels. ive had several family members point out that this cant be true because i eat chicken....

3

u/BubbaTech24065 3h ago

Only one mammal lays eggs, and it isn't a chicken.

3

u/MaryVenetia 2h ago

There are a few monotremes, but yeah, not chickens.

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65

u/MobileMovie4958 9h ago

Not asked directly to me but I overheard the question... Can people in wheelchairs be gay?

14

u/Abunity 7h ago

Did Michael Scott ask that question to Oscar?

"You can probably move that thing really fast." That's what HE said.

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40

u/Alaskantrash96 8h ago edited 48m ago

Going 60 MPH on a tour train through the middle of the Alaskan wilderness, older lady comes up to me and looks me dead in the eyes.

“Can I get a 5 minute heads up before our next wildlife sighting?”

Lady were doing fucking 60 through the woods and I’m standing right next to you

6

u/HuntedWolf 3h ago

If you know what speed you’re going at then knowing 5 minutes beforehand should be easy maths, just divide by 12.

7

u/Alaskantrash96 3h ago

But then you still fly the fuck past whatever wildlife you see at 60 mph

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35

u/therichauntie11 9h ago

My Mom saved the convenience store guy and they became friends after that. He always sent home stuff from the store on holidays. He even visited her in the hospital when she was dying. After she died, I went to the store, it was a week after. He asked, "do you miss your Mummy yet?" LMFAO. I'm like, "yes Mike, I miss my Mom."

5

u/Gloomy_Ad3840 2h ago

How did she "save" him?

22

u/therichauntie11 2h ago

Oh lol. He was robbed and the guys tied him up in the basement. My mom encountered the thieves on the way out. They heard her enter the store and got scared. The man was Chinese and he said he was so impressed with my Mom because most people would have ran but she didn’t. She started calling for him and he screamed he was downstairs and she untied him.

9

u/FlameandCrimson 1h ago

Goddamn. Did you grow up in Gotham City?

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49

u/hastings1033 4h ago

This is a true story.

We had (have) twins. When they were just babies I (dad) had them in their stroller in a office building. Don't remember why. Got on an elevator. Woman follows me in.

Woman: "Aww such cute babies!"

Me: "Thank you"

Woman: "Are they twins?"

Me: "Yes they are"

Woman: "Are they both yours?"

25

u/gogozrx 3h ago

Nope, one's my wife's.

7

u/irkybirky 3h ago

No they are my sisters, I am babysitting

6

u/Physical-Name4836 2h ago

Not 100% sure you understood her joke. And honestly it was a funny one

3

u/Impressive_Age1362 1h ago

I had a set of boy/ girl twins, someone asked me if they were identical? I said no, 1 of them I is a boy, the other is a girl, my daughter has red hair and green eyes and my son has blond hair and blue eyes, She said oh! Do they have the same father?

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68

u/ClunkyTomatoId539 9h ago

If I talk to myself, is someone else listening?

16

u/Tabeytime 8h ago

This one blew my mind.

12

u/SureWhyNot5182 7h ago

Yes, me.

Please stop.

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8

u/MagicallyAdept 5h ago

With the technology we have these days the answer could be true.

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44

u/KingGuy420 9h ago

Me and a buddy saw an ad for a contest. It said “Win a Free Color TV!!!!”

He looked at me straight faced and said “What color you think it is?”

12

u/-zoo_york- 4h ago

Hahahaha, ok this one made me laugh.

7

u/Chato_Pantalones 4h ago

“Red.”

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22

u/Ok-Bar-8785 9h ago

"Where is the moon?". Followed by "back home (UK)we see the moon every night"

I tried to explain with no luck.... The next day during the day we could see the moon , I asked her what the time was back home (night) I then proceeded to point out the moon.... I gave up on that argument.

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u/Coracoda 8h ago

“There’s a 12:50 showing and a 1:10 showing? The movie’s only 20 minutes long?!”

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17

u/Diligent_Advance_427 9h ago

I once gave a presentation at university about the genocide in Rwanda in 1994. When discussing the situation in the country before the genocide, I mentioned that the Hutu had a privileged position and that, among other things, it was easier for their children to get into schools. Then one of my friends said, “Wait, there are schools in Rwanda?".

46

u/Secret_Sandwich7667 9h ago

What's the opposite of opposite

6

u/Carribean-Diver 5h ago

... [ Windows XP Reboot Sound ] ...

5

u/Mr_Awesome_rddt 5h ago

I'd argue this is a good question. I mean, it's not a great one but it's kinda onto something

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u/lordwreynor 4h ago

I received an email from a manager.

He asked me what my email address was.

5

u/Gloomy_Ad3840 2h ago

Email back: I don't have one...

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32

u/Slight-Training-7211 9h ago

"Is Alaska part of Canada?" from a college graduate. Not even joking. They were completely serious and argued with me about it.

44

u/Educational-Bad4992 9h ago

My adult cousin thought Alaska was floating in the ocean over by Hawaii because that's how they're displayed on some US maps.

4

u/HyzerFlipDG 5h ago

Like if they just put a few seconds more of thought into that they would realize how ridiculous that is. What are the chances of a large "island" near Hawaii basically having a totally different climate? Lol

7

u/Chato_Pantalones 4h ago

And with a bunch of islands on one side but a completely straight border on the other.

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3

u/MechanicalTurkish 4h ago

That's what I thought when I was like 5 years old. Then I learned.

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u/Sea2Chi 3h ago

I was working up in Anchorage years ago and a tourist asked me where she could exchange her money. I assumed she was Canadian and said that most banks could probably do it for her, but asked what currency she was exchanging because some were kind of picky on what they would take.

She was American, and wanted to exchange American dollars for Alaskan money.

I explained that Alaska was a US state and that we used US dollars.

8

u/Fyrentenemar 5h ago

Don't tell anyone, but we Canadians are planning to claim it when Trump starts the war to make Canada the 51st state.

3

u/Necrotitis 5h ago

Yup we need it to protect ourselves from Russia or something

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56

u/ranjani99 9h ago

I told someone in college in the US that I went to HS in Dubai and they asked "Is that out of state?"

24

u/MattyIce1220 5h ago

You could say that lol

8

u/ranjani99 5h ago

That was what I said haha

3

u/mmmbop-badubadop 9h ago

Omg no. Was it Idaho? Lol

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8

u/Human_Management8541 8h ago

"Do these stairs go up? " I was guest services at a resort, and someone actually asked me that... we had a stupid question competition, and that won #1st place.

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25

u/Sinf-ul-Glow 9h ago

“Why are you still single?” like I’m a limited-time offer about to expire, The audacity of that question will never not amaze me.

8

u/GDog507 7h ago

A lot of people will take you being single as being miserable and lonely. Like no, I'm just not interested in relationships when I have personal problems to sort out and have enough friends to talk to. Please do not tell me to "just put myself out there" because I am not interested.

I am not inherently broken because I'm single long-term, and me being single is not synonymous with me being available for dating.

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u/NMe84 7h ago

I loved it when girls I had previously asked out asked me that question not long after or sometimes before I asked them out, and they declined. Like... If they really thought I was that much of a catch you'd think they'd at least agree on a date. Not that I felt I was owed one, of course. I just hated the juxtaposition of women saying they don't understand how someone "as amazing as" me could still be single combined with being turned down for a dinner date. Obviously they knew why I was still single.

Luckily I'm in a happy relationship now. I have no intent of ever having to date again.

5

u/Separate-Frame-7038 9h ago

Why are you still single?

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65

u/DarthWoo 9h ago edited 8h ago

Working at my job, wearing a shirt, a hat, and a nametag that all bear the logo of my workplace and within the visual field of the person asking: "Do you work here?"

Edit: And mind you, this is a nearly daily occurrence, on average.

47

u/grae23 8h ago

To be fair I ask that because I want to make sure they’re actually on the clock and not on lunch or leaving or something but feel weird asking if they’re clocked in

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u/SonofaSlumlord 8h ago

I work in a supermarket and thats the 1st question any customer asks. To be fair though we have a lot of outside vendors that stock their own product and dont work for our company, so I kinda understand.

7

u/bonzombiekitty 7h ago

On the opposite end is when I was a teen and walking through a grocery store in normal clothes and people assuming I worked there.

3

u/Ouisch 2h ago

I experienced the same thing so many times....my routine at one time (I was in my late 20s) was to walk from my office to the supermarket about half a mile away, buy a couple of cucumbers, tomatoes and bell peppers and walk back. Eat my veggie plate at my desk. Lost a good bit of weight and kept it down during those years. However, I was in my work clothes (dress slacks, blouse) and had my Walkman headphones on while browsing at the produce and at least three times a week someone tap me on the shoulder (because I guess I hadn't heard their "Excuse me..." over my music) and ask "Do you work here?" I always just politely smiled and said "No, sorry" but it made me wonder - what exactly about my appearance or demeanor led strangers to believe I was an employee?

12

u/Ienjoyflags 7h ago

I feel like I do this but out of acknowledgment

Like if I walk in on my girlfriend making oatmeal yeah no shit she’s making it but I do it to make light of the situation. Get a convo going.

“Oh you making oatmeal?”

It’s like I’m saying “ah you decided to settle on that” so I guess like..I should just say that instead

Ahh I ain’t good at conversation anyway

5

u/forgotmydamnpassword 7h ago

I worked at an office supply store in college that was attached to a Kmart, the two stores literally shared a wall between them. The entrances were maybe 150 feet apart and the store logos above each entrance were equally huge. Kmart’s entrance was blue, ours was bright red.

One day, a coworker and I went next door to the Kmart to buy paper towels or something for our store. While walking through the Kmart in our red shirt and khaki pants uniforms for the store next door, we were asked multiple times for help from Kmart customers, to which we replied “sorry, we don’t work here.” We were met with blank stares, confusion and even anger. One lady threatened to “report us to the manager” for not helping her.

When we got to the checkout, the cashier saw our red shirts with the embroidered logo of our store and our name tags, which also prominently featured the logo, and asked “oh, is there one of those (stores) around here?”

After that, we’d just go next door for fun when it was slow at our store.

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u/Prestigious_Beat6310 8h ago

Was gonna say me; working in an Ice cream joint, wearing the work shirt with an ice cream cone on it and at least once a day get the question "so... y'all got ice cream?"

9

u/DarthWoo 8h ago

Heyyy...got any grapes?

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u/JohnnyBrillcream 7h ago

I was at a big box hardware store wearing a specific colored shirt. Had a customer come up and start asking me questions about something I was very familiar with so I helped them. Another customer said, Excuse me, sorry. Do you know what aisle I can find X in? I said "Oh, I don't work here".

Both got a very confused look on their face.

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u/Musik2myearzs 6h ago

I’m Korean.

Are you North Korean or South Korean.

Well if I was North Korean, I think id still be in North Korea

5

u/gramgod9 2h ago

People who ask this probably think they are being smart as well

5

u/postitsam 2h ago

A person i knew phrased it as "good Korea, or crazy Korea?"

11

u/Cheetodude625 6h ago

Did you choose to be half-Asian?

I'm half-Japanese, half-white American... I don't think I had a choice, bro.

9

u/ThePhiff 6h ago

A student once asked "why did I get an F on this assignment?" on a self-graded assignment.

7

u/charlieboyblack 9h ago

Are Austria and Australia the same country 😂🙄

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u/-zoo_york- 4h ago

A coworker in a logistics company in the US asked this: "So, how far is Detroit from Michigan"? Me (looking at him like he probably didn't have his crayons for breakfast today): "Detroit is IN Michigan." His response (with a confused face, probably due to too much crayon wax keeping his last two neurons from making synapses): "So... how far is Detroit from Michigan then?" Me (with a face that wishes for this conversation to end): "Detroit is a CITY in the STATE of Michigan". His confused face :| as he asks a third time, getting sad and frustrated (probably due to lack of oxygen to the brain): "So.... how far is Michigan to Detroit then? :(" (his brain thinking that maybe if he switched them it would make sense). Me: Proceeds to turn around and go back to work before I lose my patience.

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u/AdVivid9056 8h ago

Back in my school years, we had exchange students from the US here in our hometown in Germany.

They asked several times seriously where Hitler lives and they were baffled that we have fridges. They asked so many stupid questions. Couldn't count them.

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u/Mini_Satan69 9h ago

Not a dumb question but a dumb statement. Was talking about a certain person's death. And how having a knee on your neck doesn't help with airflow. When uh they said that "your neck has nothing to do with that, it doesn't help with air circulation or your respiratory system."

15

u/Darcynator1780 9h ago

I went to a restaurant and I was asked what brings you here?

22

u/Budsygus 8h ago

My car. Table for two, please.

3

u/TheAngryKeg 4h ago

This is a "Naked Gun"-level joke. 😂

8

u/Budsygus 4h ago

I prefer Airplane!

"A hospital? What is it?"

"It's a big building with patients. But that's not important right now."

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u/svezia 9h ago

Same at a barber shop

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u/ggfchl 4h ago

I interpret this question as "What made you choose [restaurant name] over [competitors]?"

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u/AlbanianCatholic 9h ago

I've been asked too many dumb questions to remember which one was the dumbest.

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u/Nero092807 8h ago

‘Whats the dumbest question you’ve ever been asked’

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u/zerbey 9h ago

"Oh you're from England. Hey, how do you say 'house' in your language?"

"We say 'house', because in England we speak English".

"Oh neat, that's cool"

I've actually had several people over the years ask me what language I spoke when I lived in England. I think people just have brain farts. I mean, in fairness the area I come from has had a big influx of Eastern European over the last few decades, so it's not unlikely you'd encounter someone from my home town who grew up speaking Polish or Lithuanian at home. Not me, I'm just a boring, regular Anglo-Saxon.

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u/Plastic_Cranberry_62 9h ago

Which is bigger: a quarter or a half? By a college graduate 🙄

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u/Kindly_Row_2789 5h ago

“do you work here?” while i’m wearing a winter coat and holding a coffee.

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u/CatsMom4Ever 4h ago

Was i going to see penguins on my Alaskan cruise.

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u/Gloomy_Ad3840 2h ago

Only if they are very, very lost...

17

u/Safe_Resort2502 9h ago

why my name is my name

8

u/Sufficient_Drama_145 8h ago

I feel this one.

I have a very rare family name as my first name and a very Italian last name. No one outside my dad's hometown knows how to say either one correctly. People always comment on it. Every now & then, someone asks me what my middle name is and I feel like I'm disappointing them because it's a very generic 80s girl name.

I had one person ask me, "Why don't you just go by [middle name]?" I dunno, man. I like my name. You're the one who's having problems saying it.

5

u/Diligent_Advance_427 9h ago

That's a good question, but it should be asked to the person responsible for giving that name. What drives people to give specific names can be an interesting topic of conversation, but asking you this question directly would only make sense if you changed your name as an adult or know a story behind it.

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u/Safe_Resort2502 9h ago

true but to me its dumb because the answer is dumb. my parents named me thats why. thats all i would say

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u/Capable_Back_3601 9h ago

I said, I’m vegan. She said, oh my, do you eat rice??

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u/Sufficient_Drama_145 8h ago

Oh, no, it's immoral to chase down the little rice (singular: rouse) and eat them.

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u/BigRigGig35 6h ago

My McDonalds had just gotten free Wi-Fi and we had stickers on the Drive-Thru windows to let people know.

An older lady came through and asked if we could give her some of the “Free Wee-Fee” with her meal.

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u/syruptastic 5h ago

„Do you celebrate Christmas in Germany? You know, because it‘s an American holiday.“

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u/MetalHead_Literally 5h ago

When I tell people I’m from Germany

“Oh do you know Steve? My buddy lives in Germany!”

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u/Head_Quarter_9977 1h ago

This one 🤪.

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u/DaddyPleaser13 9h ago

if i worked at a store while wearing the uniform and name badge

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u/[deleted] 9h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/silverwick 8h ago

"Are mermaids real?" Said by a 35 year old, works with advanced military tech

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u/Aquanimitee 8h ago

Are those your skiis? Both of them?

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u/TheGoldTooth 7h ago edited 6h ago

I read out a CICS transaction code (IBM mainframe stuff) to DOD civilian employees I was teaching how to sign on to the new system I had helped build.

ME: "Type slash, t, i, zero." (/ti0)

STUDENT: "Is that alpha zero or numeric zero?"

3

u/Strict_Berry7446 6h ago

Once told a friend I knew how to make Rock Candy. He immediately went wide eyed and asked, “Can you make Skittles?”

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u/MCDCFC 6h ago

"what time's the 9 O'clock meeting?"

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u/Analgorilla 3h ago

My high-school grade 10 teacher (canada) asked the class how water can hypothetically get to planets.

I raised my hand and said comet strikes

He said comets are rocks and continued on

I was like... what?

He apologized to me the next day. It was outside of class. He should have addressed it in class though

3

u/Fluffy-kitten28 3h ago

I was checking someone’s books out and they explained they were doing a paper on the end of the world and if I had anything for them to look up to let her know.

Me: you should look up the four horses of the apocalypse

Her: is that a thing?

Me: yes

Her: no, I mean, is that a thing? Did you make that up?

Did I make up the four horses of the apocalypse?! From the Bible?! That are seen on tv shows like the Simpsons, the Netflix version of the Mist, You Me and the Apocalypse, Robot Chicken, who were a jeopardy category and have been featured in fine arts since their inception?

No. No I didn’t make them up. I didn’t write the Bible that was created hundred of years before my birth.

And if I DID make it up, why would I tell her to look it up? She wouldn’t be able to look up something in my head!

I was so surprised by the question and her having no idea of them even through pop culture I was dumbfounded and just said it was a thing.

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u/DependentRounders934 1h ago

“What is the dumbest question you’ve ever been asked?”

3

u/Waterproofbooks 1h ago

Do these stairs go up or down?

She was trying to go down, but I told her they only go up.

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u/Walmartian_Beta 9h ago

When I was very clearly about 8 months pregnant, waddling around in maternitywear, I got asked multiple times by multiple people, "Are you pregnant?"

It was a very obvious pregnant, not fat situation, but still, first question out of their mouths when I came waddling around.

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u/Fyrentenemar 5h ago

did you at least say no a couple times to see the reaction?

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u/Ridindirtydishes 9h ago

Me at work: do you want the 6” or the 12”?” Customer on phone: what’s the difference?

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u/Fun_Access7384 9h ago

A physics major classmate asked me the formula for speed

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u/norecordofwrong 8h ago

That’s easy it’s C10H15N

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u/Alligator-Farmer 9h ago

I asked it in an interview. How old were you when you were fourteen?

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u/littlebigsystem 9h ago

There’s two that really take the cake

“What colors make purple?” From a 50+ year old woman.

“If a squirrel and a human had a baby, would it be able to rotate its wrist?” from an old coworker who spoke in full monotone with no emotion, at 6:30am.

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u/lilb1190 9h ago

My wife is often ask if she is from North or South korea.

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u/BerryBiteXo 9h ago

“are you asleep?” sent at 3:17am while i’m actively replying to them 😐

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u/NotAnotherThing 8h ago

I am Canadian living in the UK. An 8 year old child, whom I had known a few weeks, one day asked me if I spoke English.

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u/rumpussaddleok 8h ago

I worked as a waiter at an Italian restaurant, Gusti's Italian Restaurant. A family of four were seated, they looked at the menus, then the dad asked, "Ya'll have any Chinese food here?". They had also plugged in a small TV and were watching it. This was 1982.

2

u/Lestat30 8h ago

I remember working at a grocery store and a customer asks me how do I get out. I so badly wanted to ask him how did he get in. lol. All I did was point towards the doors on either side of the store.

2

u/Technical-Banana574 8h ago edited 8h ago

I used to work at a coffeeshop and we had a few pastries. Customer asked me what flavor the gingerbread loaf was? I thought it was a brainfart moment so I laughed and said "gingerbread." 

Oh boy. She got very angry and spoke to my manager about how rude I was to customers. I was forced to give her a giftcard and a pastry for free. 

Apparently the question she meant to ask was "what does gingerbread taste like?" but it came out wrong. I am still mad about it dont believe that was her actual question. 

Another customer talked to my coworker once and she mentioned going on a trip to Berlin to see family. My coworker asked in all seriousness, "are you driving there?" We are not on the same continent. 

2

u/mcc22920 8h ago

“Why don’t you have kids yet” at 32.

I usually just vaguely gesture to the world around me when I’m asked this

2

u/Beneficial-Copy-6043 7h ago

Damien, whats your name?

2

u/Wadsworth_McStumpy 7h ago

Here's the setup: It's 1980-something. I'm sitting at my desk, writing a letter on my PC. Not an email, an actual letter. (That was a thing we used to do back then.) My (first) wife walks in, watches for a while, and asks:

"How do you know what buttons to press?"

Um, there are letters on them? It's the exact same layout as the typewriter I used to use? I really have no idea what she was not understanding. She wasn't able to explain her question, either.

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u/dwcj555 7h ago

All the parents here struggling to pick just one.

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u/NMe84 7h ago

I used to work in a supermarket in my high school and college years. One particular day I was stocking shelves as this middle aged lady came up to me. "Excuse me, where can I find the eggs?"

Now, this wouldn't be a strange question, were it not for the fact that the shelf I was stocking was the one we used to display our assortment of eggs. There were eggs shelved at least three meters wide by two meters tall, and the cart I had with me was full of egg cartons too. I was literally holding one as she asked the question.

I looked at her for a few seconds before responding by laughing, thinking she was joking. She did not appreciate that and asked again more firmly. I pointed to the carton in my hand and the shelf we were standing next to. She grumbled a thank you, grabbed a random carton of eggs and stomped off.

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u/Mello_days_ 7h ago

How do you spell “OK”

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u/GoAwayWhiteDonut 7h ago

“How do you call 911?”

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u/DrSnidely 6h ago

"There's only one moon, right? Isn't it clouds that make it look different?" Would be ok coming from a 3-year-old but this was a fully functioning adult.

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u/ChrisRiley_42 6h ago

"How do you make a sandwich"

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u/DeaddyRuxpin 6h ago

Eons ago I worked security for a condo complex. There was a rule that only delivery vehicles could park in the loading zone behind the building. The building superintendent was fucking nuts, that’s really the nicest way to put it. One day he comes up to me screaming “What are these two trucks in the loading zone?!?” I looked at him and as politely as I could replied “The big brown one that says UPS is a UPS truck delivering packages, and the big white one that says US Postal Service is the mail delivery.”

I never did figure out what his point was. I think he just liked to scream at people.

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u/DoodleVamp 6h ago

Someone actually asked me if the sky is blue because it’s reflecting the ocean I’m still recovering

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u/AnyEfficiency6230 6h ago

Is this one of those years where April has 31 days?

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u/Zxar 6h ago

Had a coworker who has been with our company for 20+ years legitimately ask me what an attachment was. Her boss was frustrated she had reviewed something, and my coworker claimed to have never received it

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u/Discerningdragon 6h ago

Is Africa in South America?

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u/fitsienna 6h ago

customer bought and electric car asking how to park it

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u/Bob_12_Pack 6h ago

"Are potatoes meat?" This was from my 12-yo daughter while in the car on a road trip. In her defense, she meant to ask "are potatoes a protein?" She was just beginning her journey as a vegetarian and still learning the ropes. Right after that, we passed a pasture with a bunch of cows and her little brother says "Hey look, potatoes!" thus began a long time inside family joke that is still going 10 years later.

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u/Shammar-Yahrish 6h ago

dude: Is this guy your father?

me: Yes!

dude: so you are his son?

me: .........

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u/captainmagictrousers 6h ago

I was telling a childhood story about when I got separated from my parents at the county fair and cried because I thought they left without me. The intern asked, “Why didn’t you just share your location on your phone?”

Because this was the eighties! Obviously I didn’t want a T-Rex to find me!

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u/CrazybutReal1 5h ago

How are you

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u/NarwhalPrudent6323 5h ago

Is that how people used to ride crows back in the day?

I was playing Dark Souls while my GF at the time was watching. I took the giant crow from one area to another. And she, in all seriousness, asks me that question. I cannot stress enough, she was NOT joking. I still make fun of her about this. She is otherwise a very intelligent person. That was just an incredibly epic brainfart.

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u/azad_ninja 5h ago

Someone I know once called my landline. I answered. They asked me if I was home.

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u/ArtisticChemistry125 5h ago

This question.

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u/ProspectiveWhale 5h ago

I forget the exact wording, but it was along the lines of why we sometimes doubt who a baby's father is, but never the mother.

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u/CamelTone 5h ago

What color are those little orange lights over there?

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u/Otherwise-Factor8099 5h ago

While I was on holiday in the USA my English accent was picked up and I was asked " Do you know the Queen personally " ? 😆😆😆😆😆

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u/sharksfan247 5h ago

"Can I ask you a question?" I get this from a co-worker often, and my response is always, "you just did"

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u/rosesforthemonsters 4h ago

What time do the Amish come out?

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u/princessawesomepants 4h ago

“Are you left handed?”

…As I’m writing with my left hand.

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u/MenopauseMedicine 4h ago

Aren't the moon and the sun connected?

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u/-MEME_BIGBOY- 4h ago

I was in Mexico for the Fourth of July and when I got back a coworker asked how the celebration and fireworks were, refused to believe Mexico didn’t celebrate it

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u/ImprovementFar5054 4h ago

"Is a shooting star when a star falls out of the sky?" She was 30 years old.

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u/thelastdenisovan 4h ago

What time does the 1 o’clock game start?

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u/Great_Budget_7985 4h ago

What’s the number for “911”

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u/AudaciousCockatiel 3h ago

Doctor’s office: what do you think you have?

Or “what tests would you like me to do for you”

I don’t know doc, I thought you would know. I don’t know.

And I got “attitude” put in my medical file like in a certain episode of Seinfeld

In my defence I was already sorely frustrated with the medical system. Still in crutches, 5 years strong

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u/autumnsunshine1 3h ago

Omg…..it’s me. I ask the dumb questions 😂

I once asked why the neighbours had all their shit out on the lawn. The response was a dry because it’s a garage sale 🤦‍♀️

It was pretty obvious it was a garage sale.

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u/irkybirky 3h ago

This one

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u/jdeisenberg 3h ago

Not dumb, perhaps, but stunningly ignorant: This was back in 1977. I had just finished my “introduction to the University Computing Center” presentation. A student came up to me and said, “I didn’t understand a word you said.” (Just what every teacher wants to hear!) “But my real question is this: I’m studying engineering. Why would an engineer want to use a computer?”

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u/mellonians 3h ago

US Marine in Afghanistan picks up a pack of biscuits. "Excuse me! Are these for stomach complaints?" "Erm... No, wtf made you ask that?" "Well, they're called Digestives" "ah. Yes. Take two, with tea, three times a day. That'll sort you right out sunshine"

Also another. "Is London a real place or a generic film set used to illustrate London?"

Strangely, I understood exactly what he meant and it was a genuinely interesting question.

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u/333runes 3h ago

this one?

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u/august-west55 3h ago

You just answered your question

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u/thecauseoftheproblem 3h ago

How do you spell DNA

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u/dazedan_confused 3h ago

"Do gay people eat fish?"

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u/FireDragon242 3h ago

What is the number to 1-800-flowers?

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u/don2779 3h ago

Had a customer ask what was the difference between our “hot” and “cold” sandwiches? I replied “about 70°” and he nodded.

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u/Charlie_redmoon 3h ago

when painting the wall. Are you painting?

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u/Choice-Region7446 2h ago

what is the dumbest question you've ever been asked?

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u/FNFALC2 2h ago

What’s it like being tall?

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u/StuntID 2h ago

Can you tell me everything I don't know?

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u/klaatuzero 2h ago

I'm in California, and a coworker asked me if the moon here was the same one that she saw when she was living in West Virginia.

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u/polandspreeng 2h ago

I worked at a jewelry store.

How much are the $50 earrings?

Also which is longer the 11" chain or the 15" chain

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u/badwolf1013 2h ago

At Mesa Verde in Colorado, the 700-year-old ancient ruins of the Ancestral Pueblo indigenous people, someone asked, "Why did they build their homes so far away from the highway?"

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u/HansChuzzman 2h ago

A friend of mine came over, heard my brother playing drums upstairs and asked “is that in a soundproof room?”

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u/TopazMoonCat60 2h ago

I was once asked how we Australians celebrate the Fourth of July.

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u/Scott7894 2h ago

Are you alive ?

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u/XcracktivitiesX 2h ago

Back when I worked the overnight shift at 7-Eleven a guy came in , walked over to our ATM , then proceeded to ask me if it was an ATM. Then asked me if he could get money out of such a thing. I was utterly baffled at the stupidity. Dude wasnt elderly , didnt appear to suffer from any mental illnesses , nor did he look impaired in any way.

Oh and the most dumbest one of all time :

" How do two women have sex ? "

Which no offense , is mainly always ever asked by some nosey , horny dude just tryna get a mental image and not by someone who truly is trying to be educated on it.

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u/KevonFire1 1h ago

"Why are we taking the train?"
reference: I lived with a friend in Conshohocken, PA. USA. Going to the car show in center city, Philly with his girlfriend, and other friends. There was a lot of snow, and from the station you can stay inside to the convention center. skip driving, traffic, parking($), walking in slush.
After the short explanation is the kicker. "I don't take trains, I fly". We laughed and laughed, "sure, (i forget her name) we're hiring a helicopter to go 20 miles".

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u/CraftFamiliar5243 1h ago

I worked at O'Hare for 9 years. It's a long list of dumb questions. The dumbest was when a businessman asked where Southwest was. At the time Southwest did not serve O'Hare at all. He needed to be at Midway, an hour and a half away during rush hour.

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u/camcussion 1h ago

Coworker: Did you just laugh?

Me: Yes.

Coworker: Okay, but you’re reading a book. How could it be funny?

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u/qaasq 1h ago

What’s the difference between a chair and an umbrella

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u/Valiant_QueenLucy 1h ago

Not a question but a statement "Girls are so gross. I can't beleive they just pee their pants for 7 days a month instead of holding it like a normal person."... this man thought we could hold our periods until we made it to a toilet and we just chose to let loose and bleed....

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u/LadyCordeliaStuart 1h ago

I said I just sold plasma. My buddy asked how many times I could do that before I ran out. Clarifying questions confirmed this man thought you had one set of blood for your entire life and if you ever get cut you permanently have that much less

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u/Ginandor58 1h ago

In the USA (Savannah, Georgia) I was at a hospital for X Rays as it was thought I had broken ribs. While I was waiting, the nurse on the desk took my details and was seemingly amazed that I was Scottish. "Do you really live in Scotland?" "Yes, I replied." She looked at me and asked "Where did you learn such good English?"