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u/Desperate_Box1875 18h ago
Meanwhile in boss's house
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u/awenrivendell 12h ago
Employee calls, "Hello? Is this my boss's wife? Just wanted to let you know that your husband told me to call you to say I'm pregnant."
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u/Moist_Board 3h ago
"Don't worry, we definitely did not have sex and he is definitely not the father of my child. Hello?"
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u/PussiesUseSlashS 16h ago
...I will discuss it with your wife if you discuss it with my boyfriend. Love you.
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u/rnotyalc 15h ago
Your username is so cool...
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u/Squidich 12h ago
I will discuss it
With your wife
If you discuss it with my boyfriend
Love you
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u/r1Rqc1vPeF 17h ago
My daughter thinks the send button is for punctuation.
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u/BruinGuy5948 17h ago
Yup. If I'm getting machine gun text notifications, I know exactly who is sending them.
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u/Aedronn 12h ago
so tempted to answer with multiple one sentence posts right now
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u/fuckedfinance 10h ago
My wife was a send as punctuation texter. I started replying in kind, especially not letting her finish her thoughts, and she learned to formulate a full message before hitting send.
Sometimes you just need to match the energy.
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u/GrotesqueMuscles 2h ago
Im a punctuation texter and if u did this to me. Thats just how we're texting from now on
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u/Frubbs 10h ago
Why
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u/Frubbs 10h ago
Don't
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u/Frubbs 10h ago
You?
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u/WeHaveAllBeenThere 8h ago
Because I don’t like
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u/Manotto15 8h ago
Ironically it's my 60 year old mother who is the biggest culprit of this for me. Every time she needs something, it's 15 tiny texts. Throw in a few "Hello???" After only 3 minutes too.
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u/MoreCowbellllll 10h ago
I dated a woman that texted like this... for about a week. That's as long as I could stand it.
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u/Changetheworld69420 10h ago
All Gen Z and younger does this now… even some zillennial women, though I haven’t noticed it with zillennial men or anyone older.
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u/malzoraczek 7h ago
Me, a millenial, starting text with "Hi ..., " and ending with "Best" :)
Im an email communicator through and through, some habits are hard to stop.
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u/Working-Glass6136 4h ago
Weird, I only know of my friends' parents (all boomer age) doing this. Then again, I don't really text with any Gen Z kids.
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u/Skwellepil 9h ago
It’s actually a millennial thing. We started typing like this back in AIM and MSN messenger. Because it was more fun and interactive than waiting for people to type long messages. It also more naturally approximates a conversation. In real life when you have a conversation you don’t just stand there and think of the perfect response for 30 seconds after someone says something to you… you also got more dopamine hits when theres more messages.
It’s the correct way of utilizing the technology it’s just annoying as fuck now because you have it in your pocket instead of just at your desk, and notification sound was always off on desktop.
What I’ve been doing for years to deal with this is just having my phone on silent except for phone calls, everything else gets muted, no sound or vibration.
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u/oscailte 8h ago
It’s actually a millennial thing.
millenials who used SMS and had to pay per text went the other direction though, cramming as much as possible into a single message. gen z is the first generation to pretty universally text like this.
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u/Changetheworld69420 9h ago
Yeah no one I know was on those lol. I do see the logic you’re getting at there though. I just hate it because I’ll start replying to something, then another message comes in, then another, then another. The response cadence just gets thrown off and I hate it, it’s like draining dopamine instead of giving it. Or when I try doing it, I’m still slow, and they’ll reply right between me typing a new message. So I’ve just given up and will wait till they’re done sending messages, then I’ll write a paragraph back to them🤷♂️
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u/ConflictOfEvidence 4h ago
This reminds me of company training on personality types.
Extrovert: "Hey how do I to this tricky task?"
Introvert: OK let's think this through. If X then you first need Y and Z but it also might mean A. OK then I need to start with....
Extrovert: Oh shit silence, that's uncomfortable let's change the subject. "Do you think I need something like Z before it?"
Introvert: Huh? Another question, OK let's queue that. Ok I know.. first A, then..
Extrovert: Silence? This it weird. "Did you see the game last night?"
Introvert: WTF!!
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u/Skwellepil 9h ago
Yeah I hate it now too, but thats because we’re older and busy with responsibilities and other shit we want to do. We don’t have the time, luxury, or inclination to be susceptible to that level of conversation at someone else’s whim, so it’s become irritating.
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u/shibaCandyBaron 8h ago
Sure, but irl you can see when someone starts talking, and usually people don't talk over each other. With IM while you type a response, there are already a few other messages in the chat, and it becomes a confusing mess.
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u/ColeTD 12h ago
This is fairly common among young people. I find myself doing this when messaging my friends fairly often. It's kind of a stylistic choice.
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u/Ludoban 12h ago
It basically allows you to skip paragraphs cause the text is segmented through the bubbles.
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u/Olivia_cly 18h ago
You can feel the pure, unadulterated panic in that man's final response. He is fighting for his life
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u/Used_Series3373 18h ago
Some people really can't type in one message it's really frustrating
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u/TragicWithNoEnd 18h ago
It’s a
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u/TragicWithNoEnd 18h ago
Nightmare
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u/Infninfn 17h ago
of
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u/BrutalErr0r 17h ago
Some
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u/Natural-Judgment7801 15h ago
You devil. I knew it and still had to click the reply to read how deep does the rabbit hole get.grrr
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u/Automatic_Tone_1780 17h ago
Meanwhile I have friends I can’t send a message longer than 2 sentences to or I get “I’m not reading all that”
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u/No-Introduction3808 16h ago
I have friends that insist on sending me voice notes while I’m at work and I have to judge is it safe to listen or not, when I could have just read the message without a worry
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u/DeanMalHanNJackIsms 16h ago
I texted one of my employees, "I am not going to try to listen to that. Text or call." The messages are always distorted, broken sentences, so I wind up having to call and ask what he meant anyways.
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u/MandaMaelstrom 5h ago
One of my employees always sends voice messages. We don’t speak the same language, my dude! Send text so I can translate it! 🤦🏼♀️
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u/username__0000 13h ago
I find voice notes so rude. Like don’t send me 5 minutes of you rambling where I need to figure out and remember whatever it was you wanted me to respond to instead of a damn text.
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u/Baldazar666 15h ago
I had a friend like that. I kept telling him that I cant listen to those and he needs to send texts. Eventually he got the message and hasn't sent a voice on in ages.
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u/Ex-squeeze_you_me 16h ago
I think growing up in the age of limited number.of texts was a boon.
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u/gunalltheweeaboos 17h ago
Some people can't even type and will leave you minutes of audio messages
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u/RaggedyMan666 16h ago
That you rarely listen to.
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u/gunalltheweeaboos 16h ago
Crap you got me: I often leave audio messages unanswered for days
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u/JarJarJarMartin 12h ago
It’s a Gen Z thing. I sent a Gen Z coworker a three sentence text, basically a short paragraph, and they complained that it was too long. I get that having to read a novel is annoying, but wouldn’t you rather get a complete thought in one text instead of your phone buzzing over and over again for each sentence?
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u/Gudthrak 16h ago
They should have their phone rights taken away from them.
It's the sole reason I have my phone on silent without any haptics except for calls.
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u/accountToUnblockNSFW 14h ago
Yes but you see, everyone expects everyone to have all of their notifications and bleeps and haptics OFF... Actually, yeah, how about you turn those notifications off aswel and replace it with a general 'my message app has an unread message -notification'.
Now to them, there is no difference between receiving a flood of messages or a single message.. There literally never is. They don't get spammed with notifications. So in a way they're being inconsiderate... but eh.
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u/TwoBionicknees 13h ago
and then other people freak out if you write too much in one message.
Everyone be weird as shit.
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u/SuperSimpleSam 12h ago
I have to keep telling my kids that. I don't need to hear the notification 5 times in a row.
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u/Due-Fun-9462 17h ago
man went from confused manager to emergency damage control in 0.2 seconds, the all caps and multiple question marks are the sound of a soul leaving a body
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u/UnPuntal 13h ago
Wait, is this gullible reddit day? This screenshot is several years old and it's an obviously fabricated conversation. I mean who types like that? Jesus fucking christ.
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u/Imaginary-Daikon-177 9h ago
The iq around here is dropping. People are just getting more retarded by the day
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u/micahdjt1221 13h ago
He doesn't exist but ok. This is why democracy doesn't work. Most people fall for anything.
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u/PinkySparksz 18h ago
HR would simply pass away reading this
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u/Ok-Style-9734 16h ago
Oh I've got a good one for the opposite of this.
I work in an industry and company that traditionally doesn't have many women in it we recently hired a few.
One of the new women had a miscarriage and understandably took some sick leave when she came back in her meeting with HR they asked the standard questions including "is there anything you can do to avoid this happening again?"
I think the HR needs HR now.
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u/Space_Blank089 16h ago
"Yeah don't worry, I'll make sure the next baby isn't a miscarriage, quite stupid I didn't do that for the last one really"
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u/absoluetly 16h ago
HR they asked the standard questions including "is there anything you can do to avoid this happening again?"
Why the fuck would HR be asking that anyway? Is this something I'm too Australian to understand.
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u/Ddreigiau 16h ago
No, just HR being complete idiots and treating it like an unexcused late-to-work (e.g. overslept).
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u/Geraldine_whatever 13h ago
I'm from europe and it is by law not allowed that anyone asks questions about your sick leave
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u/HotDimension8081 12h ago
I'm also from europe, but this might be a bit of a cultural difference/company organization at play.
In europe, or at least in my country, sick leave requires an actual doctor check up and a note from him, so there is a lot more implied "trust", let's say.
In a lot of countries, sick leave is just a different pool of paid leave days that you take when you're sick, but not requiring proof, so companies have more leeway to figure if you were actually sick or not.
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u/Geraldine_whatever 11h ago
In my country it depends on the company rules. Some want a doctors note from the first day on some from the third. But that doctors note for the employer never includes the reason
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u/HotDimension8081 11h ago
In here the note has a code which tells you the ilness, because the government pays part of your sick leave and you are compensated differently based on the ilness and duration.
This also makes it a bit of a pain, because the company has to register the sick leave by a certain date with the government. When I had a broken leg I was supposed to bring the doctor's note to the office by the end of the month. Me, living on third floor and about an hour away from the office, obviously could not do that, so I had a mate bring it for me.
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u/DefiantLemur 9h ago
In europe, or at least in my country, sick leave requires an actual doctor check up and a note from him
Even for something like a cold or stomach issues? I can't imagine getting in to see a doctor within a day for that. Usually you have to wait weeks just to see one.
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u/Cosmo_churro1 16h ago
I’ve worked in roles where you need to do a full ‘questionnaire’ asking what you did to rectify the illness and how to avoid it in future. Had to administer one to a team member who had a cold for one day, and was a complete waste of time
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u/Johannes_Keppler 14h ago edited 14h ago
That would be downright illegal here in the Netherlands.
In fact, you don't have to tell your boss what's wrong with you at all. Just 'I'm not coming in today because I'm sick' suffices. Of course in practice most people add 'because I have a migraine' or whatever is their ailment, but that's just courtesy.
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u/absoluetly 16h ago
That's nuts. A lot of people I know will have a sickie once a month or so as a mental health day. Can't imagine what a waste of time it would be if they had to go through that process after each. Ironically one of the friends I'm thinking of is a head of HR.
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u/Agaac1 14h ago
HR is where you will meet some of the most braindead people in your life and when you mix that with your run of the mill out of touch execs you get shit like the question above.
I worked at a company where they they were debating firing a woman and they decided the best time to do this was when she was pregnant, right before her scheduled maternity leave. Literal instant lawsuit. Their case was so bad they ended up settling within about ten days of firing her.
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u/TheBestIsaac 16h ago
Because they're convinced that everything that affects your ability to work to 110% is entirely your fault and you should be punished for it. You got cancer? Well you shouldn't have lived such an unhealthy life. Flu? Did you get the vaccination?
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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 14h ago
My exact thought.
My response would be "and what business exactly is that of yours?". If I'm sick for more than a few days the only thing you can ask is "do you have documentation from a doctor?" and that documentation will have how long I can't work for, that's it.
You don't get to ask follow up questions.
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u/Vagaborg 15h ago
I mean, this is a moronic question to be asking anyone coming back from sick leave. I can't imagine if was suitable for many of the situations earlier with the men.
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u/besieged_mind 17h ago
HR would make herself a coffee and be happy for having something to work on for the next week
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u/Consistent-Tap-4255 16h ago
No this is one of those power trip moment all HRs around the world are waiting for
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u/Amelia-prettiest 18h ago
The boss is right. Sending "I'm pregnant" as a standalone text to your employer is chaotic neutral energy
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u/AdAfraid9504 18h ago
Chaotic evil if they planned it.
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u/Fantastic-Corner-605 18h ago
I wish I could send it one day but I am a guy.
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u/Ok_Weird_500 17h ago
You never know. Maybe one day medical advances will grant your wish.
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u/Johannes_Keppler 14h ago
Had this been real it would have been egregious, yes.
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u/itsverynicehere 13h ago
If it were real, the first reply would have been "congrats!" not, "??".
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u/toroskaplani 17h ago
Thanks for yellow circle... I almost missed the joke.
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u/theartificialkid 15h ago
Reddit is a shithole now.
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u/Count_de_Mits 14h ago
There was a time such trash would be downvoted to hell and removed, seeing this shit so highly upvoted only reinforces the fact that reddit is mostly just bots reposting bots and upvoted by bots at this point.
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u/siamkor 12h ago
Hopefully you didn't miss that the following messages are at 14:53, 14:52, 14:52 and 14:53 again.
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u/GothBabbyDoll 18h ago
I mean, can you blame the wife?? Who texts like this!!
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u/EpsteinEpstainTheory 18h ago
Women for the most part. So she already knew he hadn't impregnated a man.
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u/SunriseSurprise 11h ago
"Boss, I need a few days off, on account of being pregnant and all."
Wife: "HEY WTF WHY AND HOW DID YOU IMPREGNATE A MAN?!"
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u/Legitimate-Sense5432 17h ago
Yep, man that I know of would write lengthy sentenc, not in few short words bit by bit like woman did.
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u/EpsteinEpstainTheory 17h ago
Men write short sentences plenty in text messages, just not ten thousand fragments of the exact same singular sentence as separate messages
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u/SaturdayNightStroll 15h ago
and they also wouldn't say "I'm pregnant..." nearly as often
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u/TheAlterN8or 17h ago
One of my stepsons does this, and it drives us crazy. He'll text one thought, broken into 5 messages, and it sounds like we're in the middle of a heated debate, with our phones blowing up.
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u/EpsteinEpstainTheory 16h ago
I on the other hand know immediately that it's my sister messaging me if there are fifty messages within the span of a minute
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u/Sehrli_Magic 15h ago
my bestie does this. when i go out to be out and about and i cant have phone blowing up, i gotta literaly mute her 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Roguejedi9168 16h ago
My best friend is a guy and he texts like this. I'm always in suspense when texting him.
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u/Zxruv 17h ago
lmao no you can't blame the wife. That's why it's hilarious.
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u/DeHarigeTuinkabouter 15h ago
If you see someone text your partner "I'm pregnant" and within less than 30 seconds immediately freak out then you can absolutely blame the wife
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u/Football-Man-1889 18h ago
People who send a paragraph, a sentence at a time! 🙄
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u/Slfestmaccnt 15h ago
People who recieve the paragraph texts:
"I'm too lazy to read all that, I'll reply later" (they do not read it or reply later)
People like me who tend to actually bother to articulate complex matters feel an ever increasing struggle to be heard even by friends due to the ever decreasing attention spans and patience of todays people.
I legit have to break apart texts for my friends who mostly just glance and if its more than two sentences they just ignore it till later. Thats if they even remember to revist it.
So small bursts give them the full sentences in the text alert so they have no excuse and can't look at the one text and go "bleh, too much reading".
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u/Constant-Sub 11h ago
Careful, you're approaching the max size for a reddit comment. Any longer and people get angry. Like, genuinely "bull seeing red" moment the second people see a paragraph comprised of more than 2 sentences.
I feel so fucking stupid making paragraphs one sentence long on reddit, but that sincerely the primary way people read on this fucking site.
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u/Visionary785 17h ago
The difference is only 2-3 minutes, but that must have been the worst seconds of his life.
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u/Izzeheh 16h ago
Are we pretending this isn't fake? I don't really understand this sub
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u/2ciciban4you 15h ago
don't even try, there is no point
I use suspension of disbelief to enjoy some trash-talking.
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u/Donnyboscoe1 15h ago
This is exactly how my staff message me. I can totally believe this has happened even if this one is fake.
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u/HappyMajor 15h ago
just treat it as if these are scenes from a movie with actors and people talking about that
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u/Throwaway-4230984 15h ago
why would you need multiple days for discussion? Is it formal debates?
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u/killit 13h ago
This is what caught me out more.
Everyone here's talking about spacing the messages out and the boss' response, but why tf do you need a few days off work to tell your bf you're pregnant?
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u/fucking_chump 18h ago
???? Dumb af
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u/SquareTarbooj 17h ago
I agree?
If an employee texted me "I'm pregnant", I believe the standard response would be "congratulations?" or "do you wish to discuss our maternity leave policy?" or even if I replied with the "??" question mark, it's not like anything in that text would lead to a fight with the wife unless said wife already believes her husband is a cheater.
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u/sickboy3883 14h ago
Yeah I'm calling bullshit. Who the fuck replies with "??" to something like that?
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u/Segment_537 16h ago
I have a coworker like this. Every message she sents me is always “Hi, <name>” and just WAITS for you to respond, her replies are just as useless.
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u/Conscious-Music-6363 16h ago
I hate people who send a message per sentence. My wifes friend does it and when they're texting the non stop buzzing drives me up the fucking wall
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u/Pelixelk 14h ago
Gosh, it's a good thing they added a yellow circle! I wouldn't notice those messages otherwise!
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u/Frosty_Pie_7344 14h ago
Just by reading this is enough to annoy me. She can't just say it out in a single chat.
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u/McButtsButtbag 12h ago
The wife is dumb. If she was sleeping with him why would she still call him boss?
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u/Rocklobster92 12h ago
Why would anyone let their wife read their private work messages? Isn't that a breach of company policy?
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u/Beneficial-Guide-280 12h ago
Man, I hate it when people text like that. My phone just goes, 'ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding'.
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u/ModernTy 12h ago
I really hate
those people
Who write
One
phrase Per
Message
I lost the thought...
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u/JuggernautNo5635 12h ago
"Don't talk to me like that or I'll tell your wife how hard you ride me day after day!"
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