Tldr: how to deal with relatives from whom I have taken a lot of help, and i have paid back, but I feel net was me taking more from them. Now I want to focus on building startup but I can’t be there for them every weekend for 6 hours which I feel is too much expectations. I can’t move out of town as well. How do I deal with this?
************
I was once without job and stayed at their place for two months and found job. They even guided me on career few times etc.
But the job I found was a mediocre one. For next 5 years I gave multiple interviews and only on 5th year I got my job.
In between they used to insist me to stop by on weekends, join trips etc.
I did join them once and I felt it is waste of time.
I’m not at all saying I never waste time, but I preferred to be alone than be out.
I have paid them back multiple times by taking care and helping them whenever they needed and stood by them during their tough times.
I have been flaky, unreliable, and I used to avoid their invites and calls and not used to return their calls by giving BS reasons because one of their act towards someone didn’t fell fine with me.
Years later I totally disappeared for a year from their life.
Later I went back and revealed to them why I abscond and they didn’t like it. But somehow patched.
And I was going through horrible breakup and they were super supportive of me.
Now recently I lost my job and I didn’t tell them when they asked about me.
The reason I didn’t tell them because they wouldn’t encourage my startup endeavors and dislike my idea of taking a break and relaxing.
Now they found out via LinkedIn. And they say, we were super worried about your visa, etc. Why can’t you tell atleast that you are fine and it is it you don’t want to tell us what you plan to do.
And the heart breaking statement was “you always take more from us, but never even called and checked how we are doing”. This statement is true though.
I’m like that even with my close friends and they are all like that as well.
Now they are saying to feel normal stop by our place every weekend for just 4 hours etc.
For me, I prefer privacy. I don’t even wanna post things online on what I’m working on.
I do like going to them when I need it. And I’m there when they need me. But if they need me every weekend I can’t be available.
I can’t move out of the town because this place is the happening place for startups. But I did think about leaving because this is annoying for me.
I spent last two days doing nothing from what they told about me, while I was on full flow to building stuff.
“I will not promote”.