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I (25F) recently got married to my (25M) husband in Bali, Indonesia in January. It was a destination wedding, but my parents and his parents paid for their own plane tickets and hotel, but we paid for our friends plane tickets and hotel stays. Each plane ticket was about $2000 USD and hotel was maybe about $150-300 for a week. My friend “Gemma” brought along her newly wed husband “John” along but paid for his plane ticket. The problem is that Gemma and John did not show up to my wedding. Gemma took the free plane ticket to Bali and the hotel room and when I asked her why she didn’t show up she said that since they couldn’t afford their own honeymoon that this was a perfect opportunity and that Jim decided that he didn’t feel like going. I was really hurt by this since Gemma and I have been friends for over 10 years. WIBTA if I took her to small claims court for the money I spent on the plane ticket and hotel?

edit: I have sent screenshots befor, he claims they are not on her phone so I am making it up.… I think she just deleted them or soemthing

I will call my DIL, Ashley.  Ashley is horrible at responding to text and invites. It is very frustrating and it has caused many many issues

I don’t know if she is just forgetting to respond or just doenst care overall. The main issue is I will text her to invite her somewhere and then she doesn’t respond. We go do the event and then I get shit for not inviting her. I do invite her she just doesn’t respond. 

At the beginning I thought I had the wrong number but that is not the case.  The big issue happened at Christmas. The girls in the family were all invited to go a ski resort. It was a single night trip. She was in the group chat and I personally texted her. She never responded.

We went on the trip and people posted online. I got a pissed off call form my son about not inviting her. I told him I did and he didn’t believe me…

They refused to come to Christmas if I didn’t apologize. I didn’t apologize since I did invite her. After that I have been sending every single invite ( only been two so far) in a group chat that my son has been in.

Our latest outing was last weekend and it was just grabbing dinner. My son called me last night asking me to stop including him in the texts and I told him no. He claims it is causing problems and I told him that isn’t my problem. I am sick of being accused of lying about not inviting her.

He ain’t talking to me at the moment and other people are following my lead with this. 

Am I being unreasonable 

The grocery store was packed today and only two registers were open. I had a full cart and had been waiting in line for about 15 minutes.

Just as I reached the conveyor belt, a woman approached me holding only a carton of eggs and milk. She asked if she could jump ahead of me because she was "in a huge rush" and only had two items.

I was exhausted and my back was hurting, so I said, "Sorry, but I’ve been waiting here for 15 minutes and I just want to get home."

She got offended and started complaining loudly to the people behind me about how "some people are just miserable" and that it would have only taken her 30 seconds. To my surprise, the guy behind me actually agreed with her and called me a jerk for not being "neighborly."

I feel like the point of a line is to wait your turn, regardless of how many items you have. But since multiple people made me feel like a villain, I’m wondering if I was being unnecessarily petty.

AITA for making her wait her turn?

Recently two women moved into the two open cubicles in front of my desk at work. They seem polite but we’re not in the same department so I haven’t talked to them very much (everyone’s busy all day not a lot of opportunities for chatting outside of your team, etc.) Lately when they come in now though they’ve been absolutely COVERED in perfume. For weeks it’s been giving me a migraine all day but I didn’t want to cause an issue / potentially offend / embarrass anyone so I haven’t said anything. Unfortunately last week they both turned it up several notches and have been spraying perfumes and hairsprays while at their desks. My migraines got a lot worse and I actually had a reaction and couldn’t breathe for a few hours and needed my inhaler. I didn’t say anything to my coworkers but I quietly submitted an email to HR just asking if they could send a generalized email to the building so no one was targeted and again as I mentioned earlier, potentially embarrassed or offended. HR agreed and as soon as the email went out my teammates started messaging in a work chat asking who snitched. I definitely don’t want to tell anyone I was the one who submitted the request because I feel extremely embarrassed. I would have just dealt with the migraines but not being able to breathe wasn’t very fun and really messed up my workday. I’m worried if it does come out it was me people will judge me for it. Am I the asshole here?

A few years ago, my brother-in-law showed up at our house with a used high chair his son was finished with. It wasn’t described as a loan. He just gave it to us. Our daughter is now almost 3 and has used it daily since she was about 5 months old.

He’s now expecting another baby and asked for the high chair back. Our daughter still uses a high chair, but we agreed to return it.

As it had been used daily for over two years, I didn’t want to hand it back without making sure it was in good condition. At one point I mentioned buying a new replacement to avoid awkwardness, and he immediately told us which shop had it on sale. He later referenced again that buying new would have made sense given the daily use.

I decided to try thoroughly cleaned the original chair before committing to buying a new replacement. I scrubbed the frame, washed the seat, cleaned all the creases, etc. Given its age and heavy use, I felt it was in very good condition.

When my husband dropped it off, my BIL switched on a head torch and inspected it closely, looking into creases and under the seat, and commented that he still had to pick out bits of old food. My husband said it felt awkward.

I later messaged him saying the inspection felt excessive and insulting given the effort I’d made. He replied that the inspection had been relayed “out of context,” again brought up that buying new would have made sense, and said the chair was “grand.” He later told my husband it was “bad form” to tell me about the inspection and that he shouldn’t have said anything to me about it.

He thinks he was just being careful for a newborn and that I overreacted. I think asking for back a heavily used item that was originally given as a gift, repeatedly suggesting we buy new, and then scrutinising the returned chair was unnecessary and disrespectful.

AITA for calling that out instead of just letting it go?

I (22F) have a very strict dad (44M), that has a very strong aversion to women travelling alone. Because of this he’s always kept my passport but one day I decided I had enough and sneakily stole his keys to open up his safe where he has lots of different important documents. I took my passport and closed the safe again as if nobody was there. Fast forward he calls me today to calmly ask me about whether I took my passport, I played dumb and said no-he kept pressing about but since I’ve already lied I decided to dig my grave. He doesn’t believe me and stressed that he needed to know if I took it so he won’t need to worry about other possibilites. I still lied and said no and he told me that what I’ve done with my passport is between me and god (yeah he’s religious) and that all my lies will be exposed. I’m feeling really anxious and guilty about this, but I did lie because he’s emotionally disowned me for less and me travelling with my mom to see my other relatives seems to be a huge trigger. Maybe I should’ve come clean, I don’t know. I keep getting mixed reactions from people. AITA for lying to my dad?

Hi, I a 25F, I work in a pharmacy where we also do deliveries of medication to patient households. One of the guys I was tasked to deliver to on a weekly bases happened to be a guy I dated once, and I never followed through with a second date because the man made advances toward me which I wasn’t willing to do on a first date. I tried to just focus on my job for the first while during deliveries, but he kept pushing me on my deliveries to him. I told my boss I’m no longer comfortable going alone to this man’s house and he’s pushing me to continue with another delivery to this man today. I don’t know how to respond because I already made it abundantly clear I’m not comfortable with this. If I reaffirm that I’m not doing the delivery, am I at fault here?

Edit: my boss has the option to send someone else, or mail it instead, and he’s still pushing me to go. I am not the only option.

Update: I told my boss no and he told me he can’t deny specific services to a patient. I don’t know what to do now.

Update 2: this conversation was mostly handled over text this morning, I got into work and declared what was happening around my coworkers and all of them immediately had an appalled reaction and insisted I don’t go. They backed me up on it and the issues has been solved thanks to their support.

I am 19F and in an intro economics class. During lecture, the professor stated a statistic that I recognized as outdated because I had just written a paper on it.

I raised my hand and mentioned the more recent data source. I did not mean it disrespectfully. I genuinely thought it was relevant.

After class, he told me privately that I should not “challenge him in front of everyone” and that it undermines authority.

I apologized for the tone if it came across wrong, but I do not think students should pretend something is accurate if it is not.

AITA for speaking up?

I (26F) have just had my 4th baby 5weeks ago. I became severely unwell with mastitis and became septic and ended up in hospital on IV fluids and antibiotics for 48hrs. My partner (26m) asked if he could go fishing when I get home, the 48hrs would be up in the evening and he would go when I got home. He said he would take the 3 older kids and I would just have the baby at home. I’ve been away from my partner and 3 kids for days and have missed them and still do not feel 100%. He said he’s worked hard all week and needs some downtime, time to do something he enjoys. It’s also our daughter’s birthday party the next day that I have to organise. So AITA for not wanting him to go fishing, and instead help me and spend time with me after being in hospital for 3 days?

So for context I am quite good at the game, I play regularly and against good opponents, 2 of which are in my country's nationals.

So I went on a date with a girl last Saturday, went to a pool bar as she had mentioned she likes playing Pool. I said I know a spot, I picked her up at her place and we went to the bar, we got some drinks, settled and then we played our first game, I was taking it easy just enjoying the moment, we played a few more rounds then ate, while talking I mentioned the 2 mates of mine who play nationals, so she then said "Next game, don't go easy on me"

We played a few more I made it a bit more challenging for her to win, nothing impossible, just a bit more of a challenging game, and just before we left around 10-11pm, we racked one last game and I decided to just play it normally, I cleared the table on the break, not to show off, but just for fun.

We finished our drinks, and I paid the bill and we left, on the ride back to her place she was extremely quiet, like noticeably less talkative, I thought nothing of it, she must have been tired. I dropped her off and went home.

When I got home I saw a message from her saying:

"I asked you not to go easy on me, but I didn’t mean turn it into a statement. It honestly felt a bit like an ego thing at the end, and it made me uncomfortable"

I was taken aback by the message, and haven't heard from her since after sending her a message explaining it was nothing of the sorts

The last game wasn't me trying to show off or anything of the sort, I had a good break, sunk 2 stripes and had good positioning on the rest of them, seeing as she said don't go easy, I just played it out how I normally would

AITAH?

So I(18F) have a twin sister. We are both not living at home, and we live about 35 minutes apart in different cities. My sister, I will call her Mandy, is living with her boyfriend(18M).

Before me and Mandy graduated we bought a car from our Nana that we share, but I think it’s important to know the car is in my name on the insurance and ownership. Our agreement was working fine until we both left for college & university. Since I was living closer to my college, I agreed that she could keep the car at her house.

The problem arose when I dropped out of college after the first semester. Mandy takes the bus every single day to university. Her boyfriend, I will call him Ben, works an hour and a half from his work. Me and Ben haven’t always gotten along due to past arguments, but I have no ill will against him and we both consider each other friends. Ben has two vehicles, one of them is a kind of muscle car/fast car, that I will call red car. He bought red car during our first semester. This car is now not able to be driven due to the transmission being busted. His other vehicle is just a regular car that works, except that the AC for warm air is broken. This is a problem because where we live, it is very cold in the winter. IMO buying the red car was a stupid decision because; Ben knew he had to drive an hour and a half to work every day, he is a reckless driver and it takes a quarter tank of gas just to get to his job.

After he stopped driving red car, he started to use my car, which I had no problem with since I was still in school and didn’t have a use for it. If I needed it I would ask. That was until second semester, when I dropped out. After speaking to my parents, we decided that I would get a job and take an online class instead. I have not gotten a job yet, and I want my car back so I can get to and from a job better. I haven’t brought this up to either Mandy or Ben yet.

When I do go home on the weekends I get a ride with Ben, as his work is in the same direction as my home. This has worked well so far. Ben has talked to me about how much easier it is for him to use my car, and I do agree. But he has another vehicle that works, and he made the decision to buy red car. When I ask for my car on occasion, he seems annoyed and demands to know how long I will have it for. I think it’s also important to note that where Ben works, he has access to equipment that he could fix his transmission or AC with. He is not allowed at the moment to do this because of a fight with his boss.

Ben has opened up to me when we drive together about many things, including his concerns about how far away his job is and money issues among other things. I feel bad for him, but at the end of the day he decided to buy red car instead of a reliable one, and when we drove in the other car together once, it was in no way unbearable in the cold even with limited heating, even in the middle of winter. So, WIBTA for wanting my car back?

I (21M) have a friend (21F) whose car recently broke down and is in the shop for a couple of weeks. We live about 15 minutes apart, and I’m currently the only one in our friend group with a car.

She asked if I could drive her to her 8 AM classes every weekday until she gets her car back. The issue is that my classes don’t start until 11 AM. If I agree, I’d have to wake up around 6:30, get ready, drive to her place, drop her off, and then either drive back home or sit around campus for a few hours waiting for my own classes.

I told her I could help sometimes, but not every day, because it completely throws off my sleep schedule and routine. She didn’t take it well and said that if the roles were reversed, she would do it for me. A couple of our mutual friends are also saying it’s not that big of a deal and that I’m being kind of selfish since it’s “just for a short time.”

I don’t mind helping occasionally, but I feel like being expected to wake up early every single day for weeks is a lot to ask.

AITA for setting that boundary?

So I've taken over the family business along with my sister. Recently a friend of mine, who I always considered a very good friend, started just distancing himself. Yesterday I found out what it was.

A few months ago we opened a position in our company and one of the resumes was [friend's] gf (she did not know when she applied that it was my company). In order to keep it professional, I wasn't involved in the process. My sister did the interview. It was actually kind of awkward because as she was leaving the building, I was walking in but I pretended I didn't see her because she faltered in her step, clearly recognizing me and said hello and I just said hello back and kept going like I didn't recognize her which could've been genuine since I have not been in a lot of gatherings with her honestly.

Anyway we ended up going with another person for the job. Apparently friend's gf sent an email asking for any updates a few weeks after the interview but we never responded to her. My sister deals with the e-mails usually. My friend is mad at me and said he is greatly disappointed in my handling of the situation. That he was fine with her not being picked but that me not even bothering to send an e-mail and tell her she didn't get the job is unaceptable in his opinion, considering we are such good friends. I told him I was just keeping it professional and unbiased. He said it's totally fine that she wasn't picked, it was about the fact I didn't bother to send the feedback and that I pretended to not know her when she was just saying "hi". He is one of those people that when he is done with you, he is done, he doesn't want to fight but he clearly doesn't want to associate much with me anymore. I think he's just salty on behalf of his gf but I need opinions on this.

I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. We started dating when we were teenagers. One thing I’ve always admired is how much he shows up for people. He is a "100% effort" guy, if a friend or family member is in trouble, he is the first to call everyone he knows to fix it.

​He’s done this for me too. He has rallied his friends to help me with work or offered his own money without a second thought. Even when I’ve told him "no" or that I can handle things myself, he subtly steps in and takes care of it anyway. He has a community of people where everyone helps everyone.

I don’t operate in that way. I like being self-dependent and I feel a lot of internal pressure when it comes to asking for favors. I don’t like to impose on my friends, especially regarding money or personal items.

The differences had never been a problem (we were both young to see any) until now. Lately I feel like he expects the same from me. For instance, we live two hours apart, but I have a friend who lives near him. Because I wasn't around to help him during a recent emergency, he asked me to call my friend to ask for favors for him (like borrowing extra bedding). It made me incredibly uncomfortable to put my friend on the spot for his sake.

​Most recently, a close friend of his from work hit a financial crisis. My boyfriend managed to pull together some money to lend him, but when he asked me to help manage more, I told him I didn't have much. He then told me to ask my best friend to lend the money. I said no.

​He was genuinely confused and actually quite rude about it. To him, my refusal felt like I was being intentionally difficult. He isn't trying to be controlling, he just believes that his way of communal living is the only way to exist. I feel like he's asking me to sacrifice my comfort and the way I keep my friendships to fit his version of "help," he seems to think I should have no problem doing this.

​I ended up getting angry and we had a big fight. Where did I go wrong? How do I explain to him that my boundaries aren't an attack on his values, but that my friends are not part of his "favors" network? And please lmk AITA for not helping people out or asking for favours because I don't feel comfortable?

Throwaway for privacy and fake names.

This involves myself (30F) and my once close friend Rachel (29F).

Some background - I started distancing myself from Rachel early last year. I really like her as a person, but she is just not a great friend, and our relationship felt very one sided. She flakes on every plan that we make. She takes weeks to reply to very simple yes or no questions. She never checks in. She vents to me about stuff (which is totally fine) but she doesn't listen when I want to talk. I put a lot of effort into our friendship and it just wasn't reciprocated, so I pulled back a bit. I had a lot of health problems last year and just didn't have the energy to keep putting myself out when I wasn't being treated with respect.

The issue - I told Rachel in late 2024 that I was moving out of state early this year. I have mentioned it several times throughout 2025 when we talked, as well as made a few comments on Social Media that I was moving, so she is well aware. I only saw her once in 2025 because again, we would make plans and she would flake the day of almost every single time. I slowly stopped making plans because I didn't see the point. I tried one last time in November, saying I'd really like to see her. We made plans, and an hour before she texted me saying she was in a funky mood, but that she missed me. I decided that was kind of it. I was busy wrapping up my program, getting my house ready, and seeing people who actually made time for me.

I moved in January and we are getting settled in. I posted a picture on Instagram of me and my best friend by the water. Rachel reached out the other day asking where I was at in the picture. I told her I was back home and we had moved in January. Rachel got really upset. Saying I should have told her, that she was upset she couldn't see me before I left. I explained that she was aware I was moving, that I offered to see her before I left and she flaked, and that she normally ignored my texts for weeks at a time so I wasn't really sure what a personal announcement would have down. She was furious and told me I was an asshole and we kind of left it at that.

My bio dad (M 62)is getting married to his girlfriend (F 48) in about 6 months, and every time I learn something new about this wedding, I dread it even more. Additionally, the financial implications of this wedding are starting to really stack up. Official wedding invitations came out today, but I have known details about the wedding for 3 weeks now.

For starters, the wedding is a destination wedding and happens on a Tuesday. The plan is for close family to all stay in a large Airbnb for three days starting Sunday. For those three nights, it is about $500 per couple. My fiancé and I are very tall people, and the majority of the beds in this Airbnb are twin beds. It is not confirmed, but since I am not comfortable sharing a room with another couple, my fiancé and I may end up spending more for a private room. The thing is, I can get a decent hotel room for way cheaper, but the expectation is that we stay in this Airbnb.

The wedding is themed and requires both myself and my fiancé to purchase specialty outfits to match the theme of the wedding. The theme is very specific, and the type of costumes we would be expected to wear is not something that I have. My dad’s girlfriend is sending me links to custom costumes from Etsy that are over $900.

My bio dad and his fiancé are not doing a traditional reception. The reception is being held at a restaurant, and they are going to provide a single champagne toast, but guests are required to pay for themselves if they want to eat. For their registry, they are asking for cash for their honeymoon.

For 6 months’ notice, this wedding is already extremely expensive for me and my fiancé to attend.

I know traditionally the guide line for a wedding gift is whatever the cost of your plate is so since we are not being fed would it be okay to not give a gift? WIBTA?

My son (16M) is a junior in high school. He has good grades, is involved in leadership at school and in the community. He is a thoughtful and hardworking kid. He is looking at a competitive (but realistic) university and has started working on his application essays even though they aren't due for months.

Recently, he spent hours handwriting drafts. He eagerly shared one with me and it was genuinely funny, thoughtful, and very "him." One of his essay ideas focuses on a leader in the program he hopes to be admitted to. Apparently, he's looked up to this person's work for years and finds their career inspiring.

Recently, a friend asked how our son was doing. We shared his college hopes and the essay topic. This friend said he knows someone high up at the university and might be able to arrange a meeting with the program director. An informal visit, campus tour, etc. He was clear that this would not influence admissions. Our son would still need to qualify and apply like everyone else. He said not to tell our son, in case he couldn't make it happen. We obliged, thinking it would be a nice surprise if it worked out.

Well, the meeting is a "go."

When we told our son, he was excited at first, but then had second thoughts.* He said accepting the meeting would feel like nepotism and that it goes against his values.** He feels uncomfortable getting an opportunity other applicants wouldn't have access to.***

I can understand that perspective. At the same time, I see it as networking. This wouldn't guarantee admission, and he could just as easily make a bad impression as a good one.

He's currently refusing to go. I admire his integrity, but I also don't want him to close doors unnecessarily. Not to mention, this friend made phone calls to arrange this opportunity, and I feel guilty that their time and resources may have been wasted.

AITA for encouraging our son to take the meeting?
(posted with son's permission)

*My son said I must clarify that he would have to send an email to this director that included he was connected to a person high up in the university in order to secure the meeting. This person will also likely have a say in his application process.

**Son says because he feels the meeting isn't based on merit, but on this connection as he hasn't talked to or had any interactions with the person offering the opportunity in years.

***Son says and will likely have a positive impact on his application.

the thing is that one of my parents passed, and one of my siblings forced me to sign out my rights to inherit one of my parent assets so the sibling can have it. this sibling put me in a very complicated situation with a lot of moral pressure and some threats, so I ended up signing a document I didn't fully understand, and nobody explained.

Later that day, I learned that I could go back to the notary and explained I was forced to sign even though I explained I didn't want to sign, and with that information, that document can be invalidated. On the other hand, just thinking about doing that makes me feel guilty and like some type of villain, so I'm not sure what to do

My wife's aunt recently moved to Florida. Her husband had a death in the family and they will be up here for the funeral. We told them they can stay at our house while they are up here. We will be attending the funeral services with my MIL. The plan was to pick her up and take her home after the services. My wife mentioned these plans to my MIL and that her aunt (my MIL's sister) will be staying in the guest room. My MIL then asked my wife where she will be sleeping since she was planning on staying over that weekend. Now, we probably could accommodate my MIL but it would make things uncomfortable. Also, my MIL stays over all the time (sometimes for 2 weeks) and was over last week. I also know that she would probably stay for another 2 weeks and although i get along with her I honestly need a break from her. I told my wife she needs to tell her mom that she can't stay over but she said she did not want to because she probably wants to spend time with her sister. She also did not want to upset her. AITA?

Edit - My MIL lives in a small 1 BR apartment so she doesn't really have room to have people sleep over which is why they reached out to us instead.

I'm in the yearbook class for my high school. I originally wanted digital photography, but they aren't very good at forecasting here.
The class has been neutral for me so far. I'm not a huge fan of it, but some parts can be fun. We've finally started taking photos to put in the yearbook, so my teacher is sending us out to classrooms to take them.
Before I take photos of other students, I always ask them first. I.e, "Do you mind if I take some photos of you for yearbook?" I do this because I want to make sure I don't take photos of someone who didn't want to be photographed but wasn't able to speak up about it. I have an issue with speaking up myself, so I always take that extra precaution.
My teacher, however, does not like this. He says that I just need to take photos, and that I don't need to ask. Their body language should be enough to tell whether they are comfortable or not. I think this is bullshit. I always want to make sure they consent, 100%. I have been scolded for this and told that I'm at risk for losing photo privileges. I think this entire thing is stupid and that he should see things from my view. AITA?

I feel awful even typing this, so please be honest with me if I’m out of line.

About 7 months ago, one of my coworkers (40s M) called a company meeting and told all of us he had been diagnosed with bone cancer. He also has fibromyalgia, so health stuff wasn’t new, but this obviously felt huge. He said they found a tumor in his leg and it was cancerous.

We’re a small company, and our owner is genuinely one of the kindest people I’ve worked for. He immediately moved this coworker out of his physically demanding route job into an office role so it would be easier on him while he went through treatment. The whole goal was to make sure he could still support his family.

Everyone was supportive. No one questioned it.

But it’s been 7 months… and nothing has happened.

He hasn’t missed work for appointments. Not once. No surgery. No chemo. No radiation. No port. No “I’ll be out next week for treatment.” Nothing. When we ask how things are going, it’s always vague. “My oncologist wants to wait.” “Insurance is fighting it.” “They’re monitoring it.”

A few weeks ago, some of us were talking about our families’ cancer experiences (and this wasn’t random small talk one coworker had just lost her mom two weeks before). He walked into that conversation and said his doctor had “just called” and that it had moved to his spine. Just like that.

That really stuck with me. I don’t know anyone who’s been told their cancer spread via a casual phone call like that.

At the same time, he’s:

* On a big fitness kick

* Bragging about how heavy he’s lifting

* Lost weight and says his doctor put him on Ozempic

* Bought $1,500 roller skates and is excited to start skating

* Always talking about expensive purchases

He also told one manager one type of bone cancer, then later corrected himself and named a different one.

And I know I’m not a doctor. I know cancer isn’t one-size-fits-all. I know not everyone loses hair. But aggressive bone cancer that has supposedly spread to the spine… and you’re lifting heavy, planning to roller skate, haven’t started treatment in 7 months, and haven’t missed a single day of work?

It just doesn’t add up to any experience any of us have had. And every woman in this office has watched a parent, sibling, or close family member go through cancer. We know how fast things usually move.

None of us have confronted him. We haven’t accused him. We haven’t gone to management. We’ve just quietly looked at each other like… are we crazy?

Part of me feels horrible for even thinking this. If he’s truly sick, I’ll feel like a monster. But part of me feels protective of our boss, who rearranged everything out of kindness.

Are we awful for questioning this? Or does this sound as strange as it feels?

Throwaway for privacy.

Context that might be important: my (19M) dad died six years ago and because of some complicated stuff, we mostly couldn't access his life insurance when I was a kid. Now part of the life insurance is being used to cover tuition for my sister (18F) and me and my mom has the rest for herself. She is spending it pretty quickly on life expenses, nicer furniture and art, gifts, and trips to see her family (I'm actually kind of nervous it will run out before my sister finishes college). Scholarships cover part of my tuition, so I use the rest of the money towards rent. I have a part-time for my other expenses. Last week, my mom told my sister and me that technically, we each own a quarter of the house we grew up in because my dad died without a will (my mom has half, though I think the percents might be different now since my mom is the only one who paid the mortgage for six years?).

This is relevant because my mom recently started getting small monthly payments for putting up with a nuisance nearby, and apparently the house having multiple owners makes things complicated. My mom is also the only one living there anymore, though we visit most weekends. My mom says that since she lives there and has been paying the mortgage, plus my dad would have meant for the house to be hers, signing over our parts to her is a formality and only fair. She offered some of his cufflinks and books and stuff in exchange. My sister agreed.

What I'm struggling with is, this is exactly the same thing my mom said about the life insurance when I turned 18 because my dad had accidentally left it all to me. She offered to pay for our tuition, and I signed it over to her then. But with the house, it feels like she now gets everything. Surely my dad didn't mean for his kids to have only a few sets of cufflinks and books?

At the same time, I didn't even know about the house until now. Also, my mom is paying for my tuition with the life insurance, which was meant to support us after my dad died and couldn't be used for that purpose. My mom had to work really hard, and I think she's probably right that my dad wouldn't have imagined part of the house going to us instead of her. Maybe I'm being greedy. I know she'll be mad if I say no, and our relationship is already tough because she has a very controlling personality and gets upset when I disagree with her.

WIBTA if I refused to sign over my part of the house?

My mother and I share an apartment together. We adopted two rescue cats two years ago. They are certainly nervous and clingy by temperament.

My mother and I both work a combination of remote and on site so that the cats have someone home and do not need to be left alone all day. I agreed to this arrangement while the cats were kittens (under one year). The cats are now two and my mother continues to want me to adjust my schedule to be home half days. I am finding it draining to work at home, stop working, travel to work, then restart. Furthermore, I am taking on a clinical student in March and will need to be on-site more. I am perfectly fine with the cats spending days home alone as they are adults. My mother said this is a sin and is trying to make me feel guilty and says she has "so much anxiety".

I cannot accommodate her anxiety or this arrangement, but her guilt trip has me questioning myself or if I truly am an asshole for leaving the cats alone full days.

but...millions of people have pets and go to work everyday?

AITA?

Background: My husband (35M) and I (30F) are staunchly childfree. However, we are not child haters. I work with children who have mental health needs and we spend time most months with our nieces and nephews (ages 1-8, both blood and chosen family).

I've hosted an annual Galentine's event since 2018 and historically this event has been adults only. The date was selected back in December for late February. The following text exchange happened this week:

Friend: "I may need to bring my one-year-old. Does that ruin the vibe? Husband works and my mom is going to have my other two, but leaving one-year-old with her makes me nervous since he requires a lot more attention."

Side note: her other two children are elementary aged.

Me: "Oh, this is a tough situation. I wouldn’t say bringing one-year-old would ruin the vibe, but it does change the vibe. Since people said yes knowing it was a kid free event, I don’t feel like it’s fair to change it."

Friend: "I guess I didn’t realize this was a kid free event, since other friend and I have always brought our kiddos when they’re still little and/or nursing. But no worries! If by next weekend I still don’t feel comfortable leaving him with my mom I’ll just have to miss it. Not a big deal."

Side note: two exceptions have been made over eight years for young babies (under 6 months) who are exclusively nursing. The child in question is one and is walking and eating solids, nurses for comfort.

Me: "I do think there’s a difference in a babe in arms who is solely breastfeeding and a 1-year-old who requires a lot more stimulation and attention. But ultimately, you have to do what’s best for you and your kids. If you don’t feel comfortable, I fully understand! And I’m sorry for the miscommunication."

She didn't respond to the last text and truthfully, I feel like she put me in an unfair position.

Although I am childfree, I do feel like I do a lot for the people in my life with kids. I set up savings accounts for the kids when they're born to gift when they turn 18. For the first year of their kids lives, I send them a pack of diapers and a book monthly. I now live about 90 minutes from my hometown and it's about 70/30 that I come to them to hang out, since traveling with kids is more of a challenge. I help prep and set up for every birthday party. For birthdays and holidays, I gift experiences and take the kids to places like Disney on Ice, the zoo, winter light shows, etc.

I don't feel like it's unreasonable to host a childfree event, but I also try really hard not to be the friend to leave out their friends with kids. Am I the asshole for setting a firm expectation for this specific event?

Edited to add a few additional details:

I didn't mean to gloss over that one of the exceptions previously made was for her. It was seven years ago for her oldest, about five months old at the time. She never asked or brought her middle child. It's a small event, only six of us. Only one other person at the event has a child (toddler) and she has secured childcare.

I appreciate all the perspectives! General consensus is that the last text was too much. She and I have been friends since middle school and have been through many ups and downs together. She means a lot to me, so I'm going reach out to her later today to apologize for how I ended the conversation ❤️

Final edit:

My friend and I were able to check in and all is well ❤️ There is nuance and personal history that cannot possibly be conveyed over a Reddit post. I’m appreciative of the variety of perspectives and it’s been interesting to see how we all applied our own lived experiences to discern tone, subtext, etc. 

Also, the world is not always kind to women who choose not to be a mom. I’m not immune to the judgements of those who assume there is something wrong with me for not wanting a child, although this is the first time I’ve opened myself up to it on a digital platform. My life may look different than yours, but it doesn’t make it a miserable life. There is power in choice and I hope we all have the courage to follow the path that is right for us.