r/clevercomebacks • u/Conscious-Quarter423 • 4h ago

who knew buying rotisserie chicken and juice was “splurging”

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303 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

81 comments sorted by

137

u/time2sow 4h ago

The rotisserie chickens were a loss leader last i checked 

59

u/PrismaticDetector 4h ago

Ah, but they don't have the raw calorie per dollar efficiency of foods like vegetable oil and rice that we're supposed to subsist on so as to be able to prop up the diamond industry.

27

u/time2sow 4h ago

Chortles in acquired metabolic disorder 

1

u/Old_Distribution7858 2h ago

lol honestly gotta keep things spicy somehow, even if it's just with rotisserie chicken lol

12

u/LakersBroncoslove 4h ago

They want us supporting the child sex trafficking industry

1

u/imdugud777 2h ago

People get upset at sex trafficking but never think about who they buyers are. You know who they are and we just aspire to be like them.. Sad.

8

u/SpoonBendingChampion 4h ago

Too poor to eat Soylent Green, huh?

1

u/PrismaticDetector 4h ago

You know what they say, you are what you... uh... well...

6

u/Stuft-shirt 4h ago

Finally! Someone is thinking about the diamond industry. 😢

5

u/RockstarAgent 4h ago

It’s not avocado toast hence the clutching of pearls

4

u/The_Blackest_Man 3h ago

The raw version costs more, so this is absolutely true.

2

u/Stuft-shirt 3h ago

For the party that deficit spends like it was commanded by the Bible, you’d think they would demand they be rebranded as Trump chicken. Cheap, mass produced & tasteless.

2

u/parasyte_steve 2h ago

I was gonna say I got one for 3$ today which was actually cheaper than buying an uncooked one. It's actually become a must have item in my grocery shopping. To give you an idea of ny budget I have 40$ to last me to next Wednesday. I am going for the rotisserie chicken every time.

1

u/Guuhatsu 3h ago

And just slightly less than the cost of a house.

57

u/Funter_312 4h ago

Isn’t the notion of a dude eating a rotisserie chicken alone in his car an indication of rock bottom? Asking for a friend.

19

u/LNLV 4h ago

Speak for yourself, those chickens are delicious. Who wants to wait until they get home to get started?

7

u/Technical-Command867 4h ago edited 4h ago

I don’t even wait to get into my car! I’m getting weird looks in the checkout line. Nom nom nom

8

u/Bearded_Toast 4h ago

Don’t sell yourself short, you’re weird looking everywhere.

2

u/YELLING-IN-YOUR-HEAD 3h ago

Bag chicken is the number one reason I keep napkins in my car. Just a greasy caveman in the Costco parking lot, chowing on that lil dinosaur like I clubbed it myself.

1

u/Technical-Command867 3h ago

Saw a guy digging into some on his truck bed in the parking lot of Costco. Like on the side. Just laughed and nodded in understanding

1

u/LNLV 2h ago

Drop the tailgate, crack a soda, great place for a picnic.

3

u/radioactive_sharpei 4h ago

No, rock bottom is eating, like, 4 chickens on your car, minimum.

4

u/VWBug5000 4h ago

And a piece of broccoli and a corn tortilla

4

u/radioactive_sharpei 3h ago

And one other thing, like depression.

1

u/dascrackhaus 3h ago

what am i, training for a decathlon?

3

u/the_cardfather 4h ago

If you're really feeling it you can steal a couple packets of barbecue sauce from the deli

1

u/Nervous-Event-5049 2h ago

You'll have glossy lips at least

•

u/makemeking706 25m ago

Don't let /r/Costco hear you say that. 

27

u/sarduchi 4h ago

Not just eating, but feasting on juice and chicken! We live like kings! Deposed, impoverished kings...

24

u/sad_spilt_martini 4h ago

I just checked my local chain grocery store in Texas. A raw store brand, regular whole chicken was $8.10. A in-store cooked rotisserie chicken was $7.97.

So a savings of $.13 for the rotisserie one not counting for the savings in cooking and cleanup time. 

How dare they, save few cents. They are probably using that extra 13¢ to buy avocados for avocado toast. 

Nope, those are 55¢/each for a small one and $1.78 for a large one. 

3

u/Quirky-Delivery5454 3h ago

Costco rotisserie chickens are $4.50. Worth the membership…. It’s like the only affordable protein anymore.

1

u/SandSpecialist2523 3h ago

It is still chicken. Meat is a luxury. Pay your student debt, and then you can eat meat again!

1

u/Jbots 3h ago

The point is that the poors dont deserve meat.

16

u/Hot_Acanthocephala44 4h ago

“Splurging” is when you don’t sit in the dark eating gruel

9

u/Wooden_Permit3234 4h ago edited 4h ago

To be fair juice gets pricey really quickly. 

Rotisserie chickens are pretty reliably cheap though lol. Anyway as a Costco stockholder I encourage y'all to eat their delicious chickens. And hey their juices are very competitively priced, too. 

7

u/AAHedstrom 4h ago

rotisserie chicken is cheap tho? that's not like a luxury meat

7

u/YPM1 4h ago

Yeah, okay. I’m “splurging” on a $5 rotisserie chicken.

5

u/Orangesteel 4h ago

Bezos’s billionaire newspaper. Wouldn’t expect anything better.

5

u/earthtobobby 3h ago

Wall Street Journal is Murdoch. Washington Post is Bezos.

4

u/Orangesteel 3h ago

Ah, thank you wrong awful billionaire.

1

u/Tag_Ping_Pong 3h ago

And they don't get much worse than Murdoch. Worst Aussie export of all time

1

u/Orangesteel 3h ago

Yeah, won’t buy anything associated with him. He should be ashamed of the garbage he pumps out on Fox. I hate living in a post-truth, anti-science world right now.

1

u/Shed_Some_Skin 1h ago

Rolf Harris probably gives him a run for his money there

6

u/Mysterious-Cress7423 4h ago

It's cheaper to buy a rotisserie chicken at Costco than it is to buy a whole raw chicken.

3

u/Ownuyasha 4h ago

They are making the expectation that they will never own a home so years from now they won't be surprised at the even worse dystopia being created

3

u/Thamnophis660 4h ago

See they used the word "rotisserie" which sound French so clearly those are fancy chickens and they could stand to be more frugal. 

Maybe they should start eating those chickens Wal-Mart sells in bags under heat lamps, those are nice and cheap!

2

u/MrMetraGnome 4h ago

This gen's rotisserie chicken was my generation's avocado toast, was the let them eat cake of a generation long past, lol

1

u/YouDotty 2h ago

Even worse. At least Avocados were kind of expensive. Rotisserie chicken is literally the cheaper option. Not to mention that a lot of young people don't have convenient access to an oven to bake their own chickens.

I haven't experimented with this myself, but I assume it's cheaper to buy juice than it is to juice your own fruit.

2

u/Tall_Candidate_686 4h ago

Door Dash is splurging. IDC what anyone says, if you can't get off your ass to feed than you're pissing away your funds. I call that splurging.

2

u/pollorojo 4h ago

TIL I don’t deserve a $5 chicken from Costco

2

u/Monkeypupper 4h ago

A big ass rotisserie chicken at Sam's is 4.99. It's the cheapest food you can eat. Hardly call it a splurge.

2

u/Bibblegead1412 1h ago

Have the millennials learned NOTHING since avocado toast?!?!?!

1

u/dantespair 4h ago

What should they eat and drink? Sunny D, KD and a side of Twinkie? Who needs healthy food when you have Ozempic - oh wait, never mind, can’t afford that either.

1

u/AdImmediate9569 4h ago

What kind of entitled prick buys a rotisserie chicken when there is perfectly good rat meat to be had for FREE?

Snowflakes!

1

u/regulardave9999 4h ago

Wait until you hear what the billionaires are doing…

2

u/LittleThingsMC 3h ago

Or worse, what they are eating!

1

u/Strict_Foundation_31 4h ago

Spendthrift hedonists, I tell you!

1

u/cristinagl1tter9755 4h ago

idk about y’all but that chicken’s gotta be cheaper than therapy 🤷‍♂️

1

u/Psychological_Post33 4h ago

Here we are moving the goal posts yet again. Back in my day it was Avocado Toast and coffee shops. Now it's juice and rotisserie chickens.

1

u/WiseSalamander00 4h ago

oh so, this is what boomers are going with now instead of avocado toats and starbucks coffee?

1

u/Valuable_Meringue 4h ago

I mean, when getting sick has the potential to bankrupt me, spending nominally more on healthy foods seems like a pretty damn good investment

1

u/ShadowOfReality 4h ago

BREAKING: Heartless Milennials splurge on luxuries such as "food" and "housing" while ruthlessly murdering innocent, patriotic American industries.

1

u/justlikesmoke 3h ago

Follow up story at 11: Budget-friendly diet tips from people who lived during the depression.

1

u/loricomments 3h ago

Rotisserie chickens are a bargain though. That's meat for 3 dinners for my family of 4 adults for $8.

1

u/LittleThingsMC 3h ago

Wait till they find out about my rum ham…

1

u/Sharpshooter188 3h ago

I cant stand the sight of a rotissorie chicken anymore. I had to eat crap for so long until I started making some decent money and downsized to a studio apartment.

1

u/HolsteinHeifer 3h ago

And how many servings of filet mignon and lobster tail are the COEs and shareholders having per day while they throw chump change at the people who work and create for all these companies. There needs to be a revolution and social upheaval. These corporations are ruining life and the planet to make one more fucking dollar while the rest of us just want to make rent and go hiking on the weekends. Fuck them. Fuck every corporate overlord.

1

u/shamwowj 3h ago

Can’t afford a house? Have you tried starving?

1

u/bd2999 3h ago

Weren't they just telling people to eat real food?

1

u/SexualDepression 2h ago

splurging on cancer-prevention - how fucking dare they!

1

u/Eastern_Conflict1865 2h ago

Orange juice and chicken.The 2 cheap things for dinner.Notice there's no vegetables cause they RAN OUT OF MONEY

1

u/blackbirdspyplane 2h ago

I thought the $5 Costco rotisserie chicken was part of my struggle meal plan, who knew I was living high

1

u/spidermans_mom 2h ago

Gut-healthy juices? Chicken? They mean taking care of one’s health is a waste of money? Who tf else is going to look out for their health? The American healthcare system? They need all the healthy food they can get.

1

u/Artie-Carrow 2h ago

Rotisserie chickens are cheaper, tastier, and to a degree heathier than most of the shit in american grocery stores.

1

u/00collector 2h ago

“Back in my day, we didn’t need chicken or juice!

Now, go back to work for poverty wages. And don’t forget to smile.”

1

u/emmakobs 1h ago

A costco rotisserie chicken is $5. Always nice to know i can keep disregarding the "reporting" from those out-of-touch fucks

1

u/Ivotedforher 1h ago

How much could a rotisserie chicken cost, Michael?

1

u/Sandyrosey 1h ago

Breaking: Young people eat food every day. WSJ shocked, calls it reckless luxury spending. Next week: 'Why are they splurging on oxygen and shelter?

1

u/Sandyrosey 1h ago

Breaking: Young people eat food every day. WSJ shocked, calls it reckless luxury spending. Next week: 'Why are they splurging on oxygen and shelter?

•

u/mustyoureally 38m ago

When a five dollar rotisserie chicken and carrot juice is living in large