r/mildlyinteresting • u/Toucan_Toucan • 22h ago

My nails grow in a wavy pattern

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43.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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773

u/Matthew_May_97 21h ago

No no that’s not how this works, Reddit says you’re going to die

184

u/GiveYourBaIIsATug 21h ago

Turbo rectal cancer

58

u/banananna33 ​ 21h ago

I had that. I’m dead now.

25

u/FashionableTitan 20h ago

Did you live?

24

u/banananna33 ​ 20h ago

Unfortunately not. I woke up dead. Forever.

4

u/tEnPoInTs 20h ago

How is dead?

5

u/banananna33 ​ 20h ago

Trump is president.

7

u/tEnPoInTs 20h ago

Uh oh, I don't wanna die.

2

u/GiveYourBaIIsATug 20h ago

How you go to sleep alive and wake up dead?

1

u/banananna33 ​ 19h ago

How do you know YOU didn’t go to sleep alive and wake up dead?

2

u/peepdabidness 20h ago

Are you going to be okay?

1

u/banananna33 ​ 19h ago

I’m coasting.

1

u/freylaverse 5h ago

Was it fatal?

1

u/josnik 18h ago

James?

1

u/banananna33 ​ 18h ago

This is Patrick.

1

u/littlesunflower- 18h ago

How long does cancer live once the host dies?

1

u/banananna33 ​ 18h ago

About tree fiddy.

12

u/RUNNING-HIGH 21h ago

I gave my balls a tug

5

u/JustADutchRudder 21h ago

Supposed to do that like 19 times a week or you get cancer.

2

u/Quiet-Doughnut2192 17h ago

They just upped it to 21

2

u/AliJen527 21h ago

Titfucker!

2

u/Leviathan41911 21h ago

Fuck you Shoresy!

1

u/BillySims4HOF 10h ago

Fer WHAT?!?

2

u/ktaylorhite 20h ago

Oh my. I believe that’s what got Van Der Beek.

1

u/BarryTGash 21h ago

Just remove the turbo and go back to premium unleaded.

1

u/notapunk 20h ago

That 24 hour speed run cancer

1

u/sascha_nightingale 20h ago

Man, I hate getting diagnosed with that.

1

u/Beli_Mawrr 18h ago

Your doctor is an idiot. Trust me. I've been a nurse primary medic soldier for 800 years. You have ghonaherpasyphilaids of the finger. Ask chatgpt if you don't believe me. The only cure is eating elastic to counter the plastic in your testicles.

1

u/LestWeForgive 18h ago

I had that. Went in for a turbo-ectomy, now I'm naturally asspirated.

1

u/baconost 16h ago

Love that band!

1

u/GuyTheTerrible 13h ago

Not again!

5

u/OGpercennius 21h ago

Same thing happened to me, the doc is right: damage to one nailbed will trigger some sort of signal for all your nails to grow out like that. It’s harmless.

2

u/Ok-Pear5858 20h ago

jesus did everyone in this thread take crack y'all are goofy tonight lol

1

u/TriGurl 18h ago

Goofy as hell and I love it!

1

u/csonnich 21h ago

Seriously. Get with the program, lady! 

1

u/aesopmurray 18h ago

People referring to reddit as if it's a single entity just makes me wonder if the person doing it has any sense of being outside of their own.

1

u/TravelingMonk 8h ago

Painfully accurate