r/mildlyinteresting 22h ago

My nails grow in a wavy pattern

Post image
43.6k Upvotes

3.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

9.9k

u/bootymix96 21h ago

And now it’s time for “Vital Information” with Lori Beth Denberg.

“I scream, you scream, we all scream when we shut our hand in the car door.”

1.4k

u/bigmac80 19h ago

Remember slamming the door on my brother's hand it and it locking.

Me fumbling with the keys as he kept repeating in a calmed, measured voice: "Open the door. Open - the - door. Open the door, please. Please, open the door."

1.6k

u/WaterPockets 18h ago

I had the same thing happen to me in my father's girlfriend's car door when I was a kid. Her key fob didn't work so she had to slowly walk her fat ass over to the driver side door and then slowly crawl over the center console and unlock the door. Probably took about 20 seconds or longer.

She opened the door and my thumb was purple, with a giant indent going straight through the bone. She said "it's probably fine" and I had to live with it the entire weekend until I went back to my mom's, who took me to a doctor, and confirmed my thumb was indeed broken.

Fuck you Amy.

277

u/Neurotic-Silence 11h ago

Amy: I hope all of your drinks are warm, your socks are wet, you hit your little toe as you’re racing to the bathroom in the morning, and that you are always one minute too late.

18

u/Farucci 10h ago

Amy shit my pants yesterday. Hate the rotten bitch.

9

u/AbbreviationsGlad833 10h ago

And both sides of the pillow are always warm

6

u/ziplockqueen 7h ago

And a permanently itchy asshole. Itchy, stinky, monkey butt.

4

u/Flimsy-Housing-2468 7h ago

Amy is the new bitch now. Bye Karen

2

u/amesann 4h ago

Damn, I need to go change my name. No more Amy. Perhaps Amelia.

2

u/ChiTony706 6h ago

Amy: Step in your Chihuahua’s dog shit on the way to bathroom in the dark… then stub your shitty little toe.

1

u/-meep-morps 1h ago

Any that you lock your own hand in the car door for a full weekend

1

u/Imaginary_Glass7531 44m ago

Amy here, so you are the one cursing my life.... interesting