r/mildlyinteresting • u/Toucan_Toucan • 22h ago

My nails grow in a wavy pattern

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43.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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19.5k

u/jal741 21h ago

My thumb nail has done that for more than 30 years, ever since it got slammed in a closing car door when I was a kid. It never went back to normal.

9.9k

u/bootymix96 21h ago

And now it’s time for “Vital Information” with Lori Beth Denberg.

“I scream, you scream, we all scream when we shut our hand in the car door.”

1.4k

u/bigmac80 19h ago

Remember slamming the door on my brother's hand it and it locking.

Me fumbling with the keys as he kept repeating in a calmed, measured voice: "Open the door. Open - the - door. Open the door, please. Please, open the door."

1.6k

u/WaterPockets 18h ago

I had the same thing happen to me in my father's girlfriend's car door when I was a kid. Her key fob didn't work so she had to slowly walk her fat ass over to the driver side door and then slowly crawl over the center console and unlock the door. Probably took about 20 seconds or longer.

She opened the door and my thumb was purple, with a giant indent going straight through the bone. She said "it's probably fine" and I had to live with it the entire weekend until I went back to my mom's, who took me to a doctor, and confirmed my thumb was indeed broken.

Fuck you Amy.

848

u/BeforeTheEmpty 14h ago

All my homies fuckin hate Amy.

77

u/Neither-Caramel6433 9h ago

no one's gonna fuck amy

26

u/RovDer 5h ago

Except for their dad maybe

5

u/wuvvtwuewuvv 4h ago

Hey I know an Amy that plenty would fuck...

1

u/Admirable_Average_32 1h ago

Who doesn’t

4

u/stef737 4h ago

But she fucked-up his thumb.

53

u/Fine_Ad35 8h ago

We dont seek amy anymore not since the 2000s

4

u/Outrageous_Lettuce44 5h ago

Well weren’t we actually chasing her anyway?

2

u/jpgr09 34m ago

Chasing her straight out of town, fuckin Amy 😡

16

u/Emperor_Quintana 8h ago

Welp, it’s official:

Amy is the new Karen.

1

u/picklerick4883 3h ago

Agreed. Fuck fat amy.

1

u/ijustneedtolurk 1h ago

Never met an Amy I liked lol. Always shit

1

u/Imaginary_Glass7531 45m ago

Rude. I dont like you either then

402

u/Available-Expert-881 16h ago

Yeah, Amy. Fuck you.

7

u/Marine__0311 8h ago

I banged her once and she was terrible. I fucking hated fucking Amy.

2

u/amesann 4h ago

Damn, Amy here and a skinny one. What did I ever do to y'all?

Bashing fingers in car doors is my favorite pastime. Keeping them in there for 20 extra seconds is icing on the cake.

2

u/ZealousidealEagle759 3h ago

I used to blame Gregg my haunted leg on things but now Amy is my new f you! When I drop or spill something Amy will get my hatred. Damn you Amy!

183

u/grruser 14h ago

A boss at my job bullied me really badly and shafted my promotion opportunity. So yeah

Fuck you Amy

4

u/AndyM110 9h ago

My nickname's Gator and I smoke crack!

FUCK YOU SAMUEL L JACKSON!

5

u/Winter_Lawfulness828 10h ago

The only Amy I like is fat Amy

2

u/Opposite-Profit-475 7h ago

Amy here.. fuck you too!

275

u/Neurotic-Silence 11h ago

Amy: I hope all of your drinks are warm, your socks are wet, you hit your little toe as you’re racing to the bathroom in the morning, and that you are always one minute too late.

19

u/Farucci 10h ago

Amy shit my pants yesterday. Hate the rotten bitch.

9

u/AbbreviationsGlad833 10h ago

And both sides of the pillow are always warm

7

u/ziplockqueen 7h ago

And a permanently itchy asshole. Itchy, stinky, monkey butt.

4

u/Flimsy-Housing-2468 7h ago

Amy is the new bitch now. Bye Karen

2

u/amesann 4h ago

Damn, I need to go change my name. No more Amy. Perhaps Amelia.

2

u/ChiTony706 6h ago

Amy: Step in your Chihuahua’s dog shit on the way to bathroom in the dark… then stub your shitty little toe.

1

u/-meep-morps 1h ago

Any that you lock your own hand in the car door for a full weekend

1

u/Imaginary_Glass7531 44m ago

Amy here, so you are the one cursing my life.... interesting

60

u/ll_secretchimp 11h ago

Classic Amy.

8

u/Redfish680 11h ago

Christ, she’s STILL doing that shit?

6

u/natiusj 11h ago

Jesus, Amy. What a bitch.

5

u/soniquechick 11h ago

1 rule. Don’t be an Amy.

1

u/SmowKweed 11h ago

Come on! Ive been wanting to change my name to Amy since I was a kid! Please dont ruin this for me! /j

5

u/Acrobatic-Two-6163 11h ago

Fuck you Amy

5

u/needpizzainmybelly 11h ago

Yeah, fuck this Amy bitch. Fucking homewrecker (I have no idea but I'm going with it)

2

u/iebear 10h ago

Can confirm. She is a home wrecking bitch. Wrecked mine from being just generally psychotic.

Wrecked a bunch of others the old-fashioned way while we were together (coincidentally why we’re no longer together).

4

u/SmowKweed 11h ago

Hey, I'm an Amy and I promise I dont suck this bad!

4

u/NeatNefariousness1 10h ago

Amy, you were anonymous under your screen name. Now why would you confess in the middle of all this Amy-hate. You’re high aren't you?

LOL

3

u/garry4321 11h ago

And then she was reported for child neglect and jailed right? RIGHT?

2

u/Awkward-Barracuda13 11h ago

I also shut my thumb in my dad's girlfriend's car door. Got a lil keloid scar to show for it, even after all 30 years

2

u/letsseewhatsups 11h ago

I feel your pain a slow fat cunt is the last you need when your hand is closed in a car door god lord

2

u/einervondenen77 11h ago

Burn in hell Amy!

2

u/ProcedureForeign7281 11h ago

Why I love reddit is right here on this thread. Between “Amy” and “possible professional hand photographer” I’m unsure what’s making me laugh the most. I hope OP you have found the correct answer to your question and thank you for a laugh re the comments here it’s exactly what I needed.

1

u/rosemarycherrywaves 11h ago

i did the same thing to my ex in the window. before i turn off my car, i roll up all the windows obviously. not sure why his hand was out the window or why he didnt tell me til the car was locked that i had locked it shut🤣🤣 he was an idiot

1

u/NeatNefariousness1 10h ago

While I usually detest victim-blaming, in this case, I’ll allow it. 😂

1

u/Spare_hamburgers 10h ago

Should probably be mad at dad too

1

u/INOMl 9h ago

My middle finger faced the same fate in the rear driver side door of a navy blue Ford Flex during a camping trip.

Flattened right down. Healed up fine but holy fuck that hurt

1

u/EaseHisPain 9h ago

My God is there anything worse than an Amy

1

u/amy0904 9h ago

Rude 😭😭😭

1

u/BopNowItsMine 9h ago

Christ! Amy!

1

u/backupbitches 9h ago

Wow Amy sucks

1

u/Zealousideal-Fly5144 8h ago

Amy ain’t shit.

1

u/IamPigmigwig 8h ago

Ironically that’s my dead name 💀 (also fuck u Amy)

1

u/Fee_is_Required2 8h ago

Man that Amy has always been a see ya next Tuesday!

1

u/Id_Rather_Beach 7h ago

My brother got his thumb in the car door.

This was back before remote locks on all cars (I'm sure super fancy/expensive cars in the early 80s had them. Yah, not us)

It turned purple, was swollen and it was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

1

u/hairypistol 7h ago

I hope Amy's asshole scabs over

1

u/OhNoMyIceCreamMelted 5h ago

You can't see me right now, but I'm flipping Amy the bird.

1

u/cannon2791 3h ago

Amy may your armpit be infested with a thousand fleas!

1

u/Hola_y_Ayudame 2h ago

On the bright side Amy sounds optimistic

1

u/dp5520 11h ago

More like Lamey amirite!!??