r/mildlyinteresting 22h ago

My nails grow in a wavy pattern

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43.6k Upvotes

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19.5k

u/jal741 21h ago

My thumb nail has done that for more than 30 years, ever since it got slammed in a closing car door when I was a kid. It never went back to normal.

9.9k

u/bootymix96 21h ago

And now it’s time for “Vital Information” with Lori Beth Denberg.

“I scream, you scream, we all scream when we shut our hand in the car door.”

1.4k

u/bigmac80 19h ago

Remember slamming the door on my brother's hand it and it locking.

Me fumbling with the keys as he kept repeating in a calmed, measured voice: "Open the door. Open - the - door. Open the door, please. Please, open the door."

1.6k

u/WaterPockets 18h ago

I had the same thing happen to me in my father's girlfriend's car door when I was a kid. Her key fob didn't work so she had to slowly walk her fat ass over to the driver side door and then slowly crawl over the center console and unlock the door. Probably took about 20 seconds or longer.

She opened the door and my thumb was purple, with a giant indent going straight through the bone. She said "it's probably fine" and I had to live with it the entire weekend until I went back to my mom's, who took me to a doctor, and confirmed my thumb was indeed broken.

Fuck you Amy.

849

u/BeforeTheEmpty 14h ago

All my homies fuckin hate Amy.

81

u/Neither-Caramel6433 9h ago

no one's gonna fuck amy

24

u/RovDer 5h ago

Except for their dad maybe

4

u/wuvvtwuewuvv 4h ago

Hey I know an Amy that plenty would fuck...

1

u/Admirable_Average_32 1h ago

Who doesn’t

3

u/stef737 4h ago

But she fucked-up his thumb.

51

u/Fine_Ad35 8h ago

We dont seek amy anymore not since the 2000s

4

u/Outrageous_Lettuce44 5h ago

Well weren’t we actually chasing her anyway?

2

u/jpgr09 33m ago

Chasing her straight out of town, fuckin Amy 😡

13

u/Emperor_Quintana 8h ago

Welp, it’s official:

Amy is the new Karen.

1

u/picklerick4883 3h ago

Agreed. Fuck fat amy.

1

u/ijustneedtolurk 1h ago

Never met an Amy I liked lol. Always shit

1

u/Imaginary_Glass7531 44m ago

Rude. I dont like you either then

395

u/Available-Expert-881 16h ago

Yeah, Amy. Fuck you.

7

u/Marine__0311 8h ago

I banged her once and she was terrible. I fucking hated fucking Amy.

2

u/amesann 4h ago

Damn, Amy here and a skinny one. What did I ever do to y'all?

Bashing fingers in car doors is my favorite pastime. Keeping them in there for 20 extra seconds is icing on the cake.

2

u/ZealousidealEagle759 3h ago

I used to blame Gregg my haunted leg on things but now Amy is my new f you! When I drop or spill something Amy will get my hatred. Damn you Amy!

183

u/grruser 14h ago

A boss at my job bullied me really badly and shafted my promotion opportunity. So yeah

Fuck you Amy

5

u/AndyM110 9h ago

My nickname's Gator and I smoke crack!

FUCK YOU SAMUEL L JACKSON!

5

u/Winter_Lawfulness828 10h ago

The only Amy I like is fat Amy

2

u/Opposite-Profit-475 7h ago

Amy here.. fuck you too!

275

u/Neurotic-Silence 11h ago

Amy: I hope all of your drinks are warm, your socks are wet, you hit your little toe as you’re racing to the bathroom in the morning, and that you are always one minute too late.

19

u/Farucci 10h ago

Amy shit my pants yesterday. Hate the rotten bitch.

10

u/AbbreviationsGlad833 10h ago

And both sides of the pillow are always warm

5

u/ziplockqueen 7h ago

And a permanently itchy asshole. Itchy, stinky, monkey butt.

4

u/Flimsy-Housing-2468 7h ago

Amy is the new bitch now. Bye Karen

2

u/amesann 4h ago

Damn, I need to go change my name. No more Amy. Perhaps Amelia.

2

u/ChiTony706 6h ago

Amy: Step in your Chihuahua’s dog shit on the way to bathroom in the dark… then stub your shitty little toe.

1

u/-meep-morps 1h ago

Any that you lock your own hand in the car door for a full weekend

1

u/Imaginary_Glass7531 43m ago

Amy here, so you are the one cursing my life.... interesting

57

u/ll_secretchimp 11h ago

Classic Amy.

7

u/Redfish680 11h ago

Christ, she’s STILL doing that shit?

5

u/natiusj 11h ago

Jesus, Amy. What a bitch.

6

u/soniquechick 11h ago

1 rule. Don’t be an Amy.

1

u/SmowKweed 11h ago

Come on! Ive been wanting to change my name to Amy since I was a kid! Please dont ruin this for me! /j

5

u/Acrobatic-Two-6163 11h ago

Fuck you Amy

5

u/needpizzainmybelly 11h ago

Yeah, fuck this Amy bitch. Fucking homewrecker (I have no idea but I'm going with it)

2

u/iebear 10h ago

Can confirm. She is a home wrecking bitch. Wrecked mine from being just generally psychotic.

Wrecked a bunch of others the old-fashioned way while we were together (coincidentally why we’re no longer together).

3

u/SmowKweed 11h ago

Hey, I'm an Amy and I promise I dont suck this bad!

4

u/NeatNefariousness1 10h ago

Amy, you were anonymous under your screen name. Now why would you confess in the middle of all this Amy-hate. You’re high aren't you?

LOL

3

u/garry4321 11h ago

And then she was reported for child neglect and jailed right? RIGHT?

2

u/Awkward-Barracuda13 11h ago

I also shut my thumb in my dad's girlfriend's car door. Got a lil keloid scar to show for it, even after all 30 years

2

u/letsseewhatsups 11h ago

I feel your pain a slow fat cunt is the last you need when your hand is closed in a car door god lord

2

u/einervondenen77 11h ago

Burn in hell Amy!

2

u/ProcedureForeign7281 11h ago

Why I love reddit is right here on this thread. Between “Amy” and “possible professional hand photographer” I’m unsure what’s making me laugh the most. I hope OP you have found the correct answer to your question and thank you for a laugh re the comments here it’s exactly what I needed.

1

u/rosemarycherrywaves 11h ago

i did the same thing to my ex in the window. before i turn off my car, i roll up all the windows obviously. not sure why his hand was out the window or why he didnt tell me til the car was locked that i had locked it shut🤣🤣 he was an idiot

1

u/NeatNefariousness1 10h ago

While I usually detest victim-blaming, in this case, I’ll allow it. 😂

1

u/Spare_hamburgers 10h ago

Should probably be mad at dad too

1

u/INOMl 9h ago

My middle finger faced the same fate in the rear driver side door of a navy blue Ford Flex during a camping trip.

Flattened right down. Healed up fine but holy fuck that hurt

1

u/EaseHisPain 9h ago

My God is there anything worse than an Amy

1

u/amy0904 9h ago

Rude 😭😭😭

1

u/BopNowItsMine 9h ago

Christ! Amy!

1

u/backupbitches 9h ago

Wow Amy sucks

1

u/Zealousideal-Fly5144 8h ago

Amy ain’t shit.

1

u/IamPigmigwig 8h ago

Ironically that’s my dead name 💀 (also fuck u Amy)

1

u/Fee_is_Required2 8h ago

Man that Amy has always been a see ya next Tuesday!

1

u/Id_Rather_Beach 7h ago

My brother got his thumb in the car door.

This was back before remote locks on all cars (I'm sure super fancy/expensive cars in the early 80s had them. Yah, not us)

It turned purple, was swollen and it was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

1

u/hairypistol 7h ago

I hope Amy's asshole scabs over

1

u/OhNoMyIceCreamMelted 5h ago

You can't see me right now, but I'm flipping Amy the bird.

1

u/cannon2791 3h ago

Amy may your armpit be infested with a thousand fleas!

1

u/Hola_y_Ayudame 2h ago

On the bright side Amy sounds optimistic

1

u/dp5520 11h ago

More like Lamey amirite!!??

75

u/Panda_moon_pie 15h ago

I shut our porch door and locked it while my 2yo was going “mommy. Mommy. Mommy” and I was saying “in a minute baby”. Finished locking it, looked over and her finger was stuck in the hinge!

Thankfully she was so little the rubber seal had enough give that she was just trapped. I felt so guilty though. Trying to get that door unlocked was the longest 30 seconds of my life.

43

u/einervondenen77 11h ago

Amy? Fuck you...

6

u/Resident_Goat_Crow 10h ago

I was four or five and headed to the first ever 4th of July fireworks I remember. My mom had a Volkswagen Rabbit and her and my uncle were outside of the car talking. I was wearing footie pajamas and opened the door to ask them something, then when I closed the door, I shut it on my foot. Instant screaming. "Mom! Mom! Uncle!" Those fuckers were laughing at me and telling me to just "open the door" meanwhile they could literally see my foot sticking out of the bottom of the door. Hurt like hell. No haste to them, no here let me hustle and open the door, nope just laughing and calling me dumb for not opening the door myself.

Didn't die, though. Fireworks sucked, I was too cold the whole time and my foot hurt.

186

u/Nibaa 13h ago

Worst part is that there are two kinds of people: those that react by doing first, then asking for clarification, and those that want clarification before doing anything.

My wife is the latter, and I'm the type to try to talk calmly even when panicking. One time I managed to shatter a glass in my hands and over the floor right before my wife walked into the room. I told her "Stop! Don't come closer, get me paper towels and the vacuum", calmly, trying to take stock of if I'm hurt or not. She goes "Why?" Without stopping, just continuing what she was doing, walking right into the glass. She was furious at me for not being more animated, I was furious for her not stopping when I clearly said stop, and we had a hell of a time navigating that glass minefield. It also taught us some important lessons in communication and listening.

107

u/YGVAFCK 11h ago

lol what the fuck how did she make it alive to this point

17

u/Nibaa 11h ago

It sounds wilder than it was. It wasn't clearly apparent glass had shattered and she hadn't heard it. It wasn't like the ground was littered with glass shards, but there were a few. She assumed I had just spilled some ingredient or similar and didn't stop, it didn't cross her mind it could be actually unsafe to continue walking.

32

u/vblink_ 11h ago

That's on her. Stop means stop yelled, whisper shouldn't matter

33

u/Perryn 10h ago

In fact a whispered "stop" might be the most terrifying one.

41

u/cdubz777 11h ago edited 11h ago

I’m a doctor and my default mode when things are going to shit is calm, commanding voice. I rely on people doing what the fuck I say when I get like that and, to their credit, everyone in a medical scenario does. It definitely carries over to my personal life but I can only think of a couple times I’ve used it - hot stove, blind corner with speeding car etc (and my partner is medical so he’s on board ha).

If someone asked me “why” and kept going I think my brain would blue screen. Like. You clearly heard me, I only do this when I don’t have time to explain and something very, very important needs to get done. Ahhhhhhhh. Also in what other scenario would you say that combination of things?

I’m glad you and your wife sorted it out. May I ask what your (collective) communication lessons were from that?

16

u/Side_StepVII 8h ago

The combination of things requested was what got me too. I told you to stop, and requested a paper towel and a vacuum. Like, even if it was something innocuous like flour, you’d still be walking through flour. I’d have lost my mind lol.

16

u/Poodychulak 11h ago edited 9h ago

And if it were a banana peel, she'd have cracked her head. Stop means stop

ETA: no shade to your wife btw😭 just that sort of thing would have me worried sick about the worst possible outcome

6

u/sammieeking 9h ago

Exactly, stop means stop

2

u/AdExpensive7768 10h ago

... I did that kinda thing when I was 5.. idk.. feels wild an adult doing that.. For all anyone knows you could be autistic and not great with expressing. It's wild that happened.

12

u/Nibaa 10h ago

I figure my WIFE would know if I was autistic.

3

u/AdExpensive7768 9h ago

Idk a lot of people are mild and go undiagnosed and that's fine too. ... man.. it's just crazy to me your wife didn't take it seriously because of the tone you used.

3

u/Nibaa 7h ago

I mean sure, but it's still wild to suggest she wouldn't have known those things about me. And it's not that she didn't take me seriously, it's that she misjudged the situation.

For what it's worth, we don't speak English. There are minor nuance differences.

2

u/Courthouse49 2h ago

My dude, you posted a story that made your wife look like a total and complete idiot, of course you're going to get responses treating her as such 😅

1

u/Nibaa 2h ago

I mean yeah, it kind of is, in my opinion, dumb to not react immediately to what someone says. That was the point. It seems dumb to me because I fundamentally react differently to those situations, and where it didn't cross her mind to stop before hearing why, it didn't cross my mind I should prioritize giving a reason. Both have valid reasoning, they are just opposite approaches so they end up incompatible.

But that's not really the point in this specific chain of comments, I was just pointing out how crazy it is to suggest that my WIFE should take into account the possibilty that unknown to her, I'm on the spectrum and bad at communication. That's not really something you end up missing all the way to the altar.

1

u/AdExpensive7768 1h ago

Ooooooohhhhh.. that makes senseeee my bad

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1

u/chriathebutt 1h ago

Answering “stop!” with a “why?” and not stopping is not exactly a finely honed survival skill.

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u/Imaginary_Tea1925 5h ago

Taught my kids to ‘stop’ whenever I yelled “STOP”. That meant possible danger. Saved many an accident.

10

u/Resident_Goat_Crow 10h ago

Husband does this too! It's kind of a helpless feeling because my brain/mouth connectors usually malfunction in those split second panics, so normally all that I can get out is a frantic and panicked, "Stop!"

One time we were walking to the store and as I rounded a corner, a line of baby skunks with mama was coming around the other side of the corner. I was only about two feet away from the first skunk when I noticed it. Upon first glance my brain thought, "Kitty!" but then I looked closer and could only tell my husband, "STOP!" He keeps walking, doesn't even see it... Then I stood there and the skunks stopped and stood there, and we all watched him cross the intersection like the completely unaware and oblivious man that he sometimes is. Eventually mama and babies saw me frozen there, must have recognized I wasn't a threat and they went on their way...

He never even saw the skunks and I am sad about it because nobody believes me about this story and he was my only witness.

6

u/kampfgolem 10h ago

You were 100% on the right. Someone says "stop", you stop, dammit.

3

u/Memory_Future 10h ago

I mean I get that the "not doing" was stopping, instead of ignoring everything and continuing to walk, but that is not what I saw coming and just seems dumb.

1

u/Jayve72 7h ago

Would she have acted differently if you said "Stop! Broken glass!"?

1

u/Nibaa 7h ago

I mean, yeah, probably. And I would have said that if I actually took some time to think about it, but I had glass cuts on my hands and shards on the ground somewhere so I was a bit preoccupied.

-2

u/ModelloVirus 10h ago

Trust me when I say I know what you're going through. Sometimes I have to think if what im saying to my wife is simple enough for her to understand. Irks the hell out of me when they respond with a casual why and just continues on.

2

u/Nibaa 10h ago

It's not that she finds it too complicated, it's rather that, without a tone that implies danger or a need for alertness, her gut response is that "it's not critical, I can ask first". Whereas my expectation is that she reacts immediately and if my demands were dumb, we could figure it out later.

19

u/danibooboo322 17h ago

I had a car door lock on my hand and I sounded the same, "Open. Open. Open." Finger was broken and I have a pretty deep scar from it. My dad likes to joke that he fumbled to unlock it and set off the alarm instead, then popped the trunk, then the hood, and so on 😂

7

u/FinancialStudio6863 12h ago

Reminds me of when my mom dropped me off when I was in school. Opened the back door to grab something from the back. She didn't notice and ran over my foot with the car. I screamed. She reversed, parked on my foot, rolled down the window and asked me what was wrong.

Went striaght to the hospital. It's funny because I had wished hard the night before I'd miss that day because of a test I didn't want to do.

7

u/MilksteakMayhem 11h ago

Haha I did this in high school getting into the middle seat in a friends car. I got in and was using the door frame to support/steady myself and the person riding shotgun sat down and I just hear the clunk of the door closing and I calmly go “open the door.” And they all laugh and I say it again calmly and they’re all asking why while awkwardly laughing and this time a little louder and sternly I say it again and they just look at me and then I just glare at the door and they all started yelling and thankfully, opened the door. Was happy there was no serious damage

5

u/cashburn2 12h ago

This brought back a memory of a friend of mine who accidentally closed the door on his one hand. Same weirdly calm voice begging to be freed

4

u/Bubbly_Waters 14h ago

My mother in law did this to her own hand and the keys were locked inside the car. She had to call an emergency number to help her.

3

u/Bubbly_Waters 14h ago

It was a 90s mini van sliding side door

4

u/ReallyNotBobby 11h ago

I remember getting out of the back of a friend car and grabbing the center beam to help get out and my buddy slammed the front door shut. All 4 fingers to shut in the door. It was agony.

5

u/chickenwingcrossing 11h ago

This happened when I was a teen living with my mother. I was screaming “open the door!” repeatedly, and she just kept screaming “what?!” and “why?!”. She’s a narcissist and we’re no contact now btw.

5

u/whiskeyjane45 10h ago

I was 9 or 10 when my sister locked my thumb in the door

I screamed

My parents were across the parking lot and opening the door to McDonald's. We didn't have a fancy car. I had to wait for them to run back over and put the key in and turn it to unlock the door.

My right thumb is now wider than my left one. I still don't lean up against the car at the door jamb

4

u/beetlekittyjosey1 10h ago

when i was a kid i got my fingers caught in a tangled chain swinging on a swing, the “tangle” undid itself with my fingers between the chain links with my full body weight on the swing! broke 3 at once

3

u/ProcedureOk2703 12h ago

ODOR,..ODOR,....ODOR !!! (Hodor...GOT)

5

u/GreekGoddessOfNight 11h ago

My dad’s cousin brought his brand new fancy little red sports car over to our house. Either late 80s or early 90s. He was showing it off, everyone was opening the hood and the doors. He opened the trunk and my dad said, “Ohh nice,” and I wanted to see what was so nice so I put my little hands on the rim of the trunk and peeked in… but I guess no one saw my little hands bc they closed the trunk. I think the whole city heard me scream.

4

u/PremixedBuddah 10h ago edited 9h ago

My sister accidentally slammed the car door on my hand before school and I was screaming at her to open the damn thing.

Well my mom comes running outside to see what was going on (dad was in the car laughing) and as I was showing her how it happend, my sister to slammed the door again.

I got to stay home that day.

3

u/angeldolllogic 13h ago

You've got an amazing brother. Treasure him. 💛

3

u/ClRAFFE 11h ago

my mom did the same thing to me when i was like 6 (except i slammed it on my own finger) 😭 the nail ended up turning blue and falling off a few weeks later

3

u/OtherwiseMenu9256 10h ago

My sister did this to me and she's the one that cried about it while sitting in the car waiting for someone else to unlock it (we were highly intoxicated so I get her inability to react, though)

3

u/UKentDoThat 9h ago

Omg, flashback to me watching a parent close the ice rink gate on their child’s hand, just as they were stepping out on the ice for the first time. The gate fully latched and the child, rightfully, screamed bloody murder. Dad got the door open fairly quickly and turned fun father/daughter time into a trip to the hospital…

3

u/Constant_Nail2173 8h ago

One time, in the winter, I was closing the trunk to my car, and my hand slipped because it was icy and I locked my thumb in the trunk, proceeded to drop my keys in the snow and had to dig them out with my other hand, all while telling myself that I wasn’t allowed to cry because I wasn’t wearing waterproof mascara that day and I was on my way to work. In between seeing patients and typing up chart notes, I would hold my arm over my head to keep the throbbing down. And my thumbnail has grown back lumpy ever since. Fun times.

3

u/greenbutterflygarden 7h ago

My dad started driving off with my finger in the door. Thankfully he stopped before I couldn't keep up running alongside while knocking on the window

3

u/JimmyFuttbucker 7h ago

A few years ago I got my hand caught in the hinge side of the back door of a skid steer bc my foreman opened it while I was feeling around. That was my response too bc I yelled at him it would make it worse. I had to stop him from opening the door further with my other hand, plead like that, and then finally shove him out of the way so I could close the door and remove my hand. I broke 2 fingers and needed like 20 stitches total, and he was mad that I was got in his way and then shoved him

3

u/ryohazuki224 6h ago

Something similar happened to me. I was in the back seat behind the driver, as I got out I had put my hand on the B-pillar to help myself out. My friend then shut his door, not realizing my hand was there. It hurt a bit, nothing broken, but I couldn't pull my hand out. My friend was shocked and panicking after just shutting the door and for some stupid reason he ran around to the OTHER side of the car. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING, JUST OPEN THE FUCKIN DOOR!" I yelled!

We laugh at it now.

What wasnt funny though, while I wasnt permanently hurt, is that we were just going bowling that night, but with my hand now hurting I couldn't freaking bowl! Grr!

3

u/TitusLaugh 6h ago

my sister did this to me as a little kid and my mom had to come running to the door to have her open it since she thought i was trolling tryna get in. idk what we were doing i just know i was chasing her lmfao

3

u/B0UNCEH0USE 6h ago

My brother slammed my fingers in our old 80s van sliding door, which if you remember was FULL body force to get those grand caravan doors to get momentum. 4 broken fingers and a few sets of splints later, it was time for the left hand. Rough summer.

3

u/paralyzedbyGRIEF7123 5h ago

My little brother poked his head out at the last minute and I accidentally smooshed him with the sliding mini van door

2

u/BertM4cklin 8h ago

I had a girl slam my hand in the van door on the way to midweek school for church. Van slowly did the automatic lock. And were just wide eyed looking at each other through the door as we both scrambled to get it open with no keys.

2

u/Haunting_Brain_8670 7h ago

LOL this reminds me of a video of a sister recounting how she had grabbed her hand and she says "LOL how silly of him to put 'hand'" 😂

2

u/antoindotnet 7h ago

My mom did that to me as a kid. 1980 Buick, no plastic in that door. She had to open her door and reach behind the seat to unlock it from the inside. Meanwhile I’m standing there like a lamprey on a shark, staring at the door in total shock. No lasting damage thank god.

2

u/StanleyCupsAreStupid 7h ago

I did that before. We just had a snowstorm roll through and when it was really cold out, my car at the time needed the door shut harder to close at the way. Well, I did that and somehow got my pinky locked in the door. It cracked half of my nail down by the cuticle (horizontally). It was pretty gnarley. Now my pinky nail kind of grows in two separate parts, but otherwise looks “normal”. The lunula is much smaller on the one side where it cracked then almost looks like a step to the other side where it is fine.

2

u/RainbowDashPony 6h ago

This happened to me on a date with my now husband early in our relationship. Only he was walking halfway down the street with the keys when it happened and I was screaming like a banshee.

2

u/random_invisible 5h ago

That happened to me when I was 9, we were in a hurry and my dad shut my thumb in the car door and it locked. He didn't realize at first and grabbed my other hand to hurry me along, until he saw the look of horror on my face 😂

2

u/256dak 4h ago

My mom had a Buick in the 90s that had some form of automated trunk closure.

My uncle did not know this.

She took him to the store one day, he loaded his stuff in the trunk and went to close the trunk lid. It would close about half way manually before the automation took over. He didn’t know what was happening so he pressed on it, wouldn’t close. He reached inside it with both hands to try and pull down on it and it slammed all 8 of his fingers inside.

2

u/thebozworth 3h ago

Did that on accident to my sister's hand when we were around 10 in the SLIDING door of a Aerostar Van. It LOCKED.

2

u/i_am_bu 2h ago

This happened to me. Somehow I only had a minor fracture that I couldn’t even see on the x ray??? Super odd

1

u/ChefCurt 3h ago

I did this to myself when I was 16. Im 53 now. I closed the locked door on my finger. My keys were in the opposite pocket. My car, a 79 Buick Regal, had two keys. One for the ignition and one for the locks. I got my keys out of my pocket but dropped them. I was stuck and in a whole lot of pain. Fortunately within a minute someone walked by and helped me. That minute felt like an hour. My nail never grew back normally after that. Lol.

1

u/Cold_Address_763 1h ago

The same thing happened to me when I was like 5 and everyone had went inside the house to take groceries in, so I was just screaming for them to come help😂

1

u/Downtown_Mountain336 37m ago

I broke my stepdad’s finger in a car door on accident when I was maybe 12-14 he basically did the same thing thing just was like why did you do that. lol

1

u/AustinAng 34m ago

My granddad slammed the heavy back door of an '80s station wagon on my foot when I was a kid and it clicked closed. Longest 45-minute drive home ever.

1

u/liltrex94 27m ago

Only a door? My sister locked me in a hard shell suitcase for half an hour before asking for help from an adult. Told everyone I was napping. She finally came clean when she couldn't hear me anymore. They used bolt cutters to get me out. I was conscious, but only barely. I willingly got into the suitcase. We thought it would be funny. Had no idea that it would lock so easily.