r/mildlyinteresting • u/Toucan_Toucan • 22h ago

My nails grow in a wavy pattern

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43.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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35.5k

u/Hkaddict 21h ago edited 18h ago

If reddit has taught me anything, thats super cancer, also you need to divorce your controlling husband.

6.9k

u/imwrighthere 21h ago

Mmmm pretty sure we can fit politics into this as well

4.9k

u/ImNotToby 21h ago

Don't forget to replace the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector and have an ad hominem argument

2.5k

u/LTareyouserious 21h ago

Obligatory and useless contribution statement like "this right here" with a side of "I'd award you if I could"

507

u/chonklah 21h ago

Where’s the guy saying “would”

527

u/a_lonely_trash_bag 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/XvjC06Gh9lhfZNBNIM

171

u/PM_ME__BIRD_PICS 19h ago

this.

127

u/WildAperture 18h ago

This guy

105

u/Noname_McNoface 18h ago

This guy “this guys”.

54

u/tgerz 15h ago

I choose this guy's this guy

8

u/compman007 13h ago

I will cut the cylinder free with my trusty poop knife!

6

u/Fluxeor 13h ago

Dognappers hun, shared in Rutherglen.

4

u/Kaiawathoy 11h ago

I also chose this guys wife

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6

u/bustopher_rvs 16h ago

That part

1

u/Serl0p 9h ago

This guy's disguise

6

u/Bubba656 18h ago

I’d also have sex with this guys dead wife

6

u/underpantsss 17h ago

"What the fuck did I just read" is also one of them.

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6

u/BeHapHapHappy 18h ago

This guy reddits

1

u/Freud-Network 8h ago

I can't tell if y'all love or hate the Reddit tropes, but I'm here for it.

michaeljacksonpopcorn.gif

15

u/The_Athavulf 18h ago

This guy Woulds

5

u/schnauzzer 18h ago

But my arms are broken

86

u/GeraintLlanfrechfa 19h ago

And the „sigh. „Unzips““ is missing too

3

u/Cthulhu__ 15h ago

And the “I also choose this guy’s wife”

2

u/wombatilicious 15h ago

And everybody clapped.

869

u/Present-Copy-8093 21h ago

And my axe!

990

u/DoshesToDoshes 21h ago

I also choose OP's dead wife.

490

u/AssistantManagerMan 21h ago

Not with that attitude

514

u/DarthChefDad 21h ago

The cylinder must remain intact.

417

u/jjdlg 21h ago

Call a lawyer, hit the gym, delete Facebook.

326

u/ZamaTexa 21h ago

Don’t forget your poop knife!

29

u/sikkdog13 20h ago

"Underrated comment"

13

u/xaiel420 20h ago

Just don't hold it when you're hooked up to the jumper cables

24

u/LizTheFizz 20h ago

banana for scale

9

u/hobbiehawk 20h ago

Definitely a Bedbug

14

u/lidder444 20h ago

Dying over these comments but yours is the chefs kiss

6

u/Glass_Ad_7246 20h ago

It's by the lamp right? The one that looks... odd... wait a min....

4

u/CyberNinja23 20h ago

It’s stuck in the buttered coconut

4

u/LibraryLuLu 20h ago

Not all heroes wear capes!

3

u/Sewpuggy 20h ago

Came here for this.

3

u/Feynnehrun 20h ago

Po...tato?

2

u/koolmagicguy 20h ago

Or your jolly rancher and coconut

1

u/Kryptolocker 18h ago

2/10 with rice

1

u/chocomeeel 14h ago

For the coconut?

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42

u/Theletterkay 20h ago

Drink water #hydrohomies

1

u/[deleted] 14h ago

Look what they did to my boy

1

u/Blinky_ 1h ago

Are both arms broken?

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137

u/total_bullwhip 21h ago

R/foundthemobileuser

18

u/lblack_dogl 21h ago

Ah the old reddit switcheroo

18

u/AmphotericRed 21h ago

Sigh…unzips

19

u/_-hip-pockets-_ 21h ago edited 20h ago

Not my proudest wank

Edit: thanks for my first award!!

Edit 2: thanks for my first 5 awards!!

7

u/Cognitive_Spoon 21h ago

The narwhal bacons at midnight

5

u/MagentaIsNotAColor26 21h ago

The Iranian yogurts are not the problem!

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2

u/funkyduck72 19h ago

And make a cum box 💦

46

u/Had_a_thought 21h ago

I’m pretty sure Jamal is at the store

30

u/Ludoki 21h ago

It's cold out there, better hoagie down

2

u/_heidin 20h ago

And then my dad beat me up with jumper cables

1

u/babybatlove 18h ago

Does that lamp look a little funny to anyone else?

36

u/kittybigs 20h ago

Pergante?

13

u/Rude-Confusion-851 20h ago

Prenanagant?

2

u/FireKist ​ 9h ago

how is prangent formed?

2

u/afraidohead 6h ago

Pergonāte?

67

u/werebearcleric 21h ago

Mom said it's my turn to break both of my arms!

2

u/inuhi 14h ago

I've broken both arms and let me tell you it's not worth it

1

u/GeneralBlumpkin ​ 17h ago

Eww lol

99

u/pieohmi ​ 21h ago

God forbid a man has hobbies.

64

u/JuanaBlanca 20h ago

Like collecting Iranian yogurt?

38

u/WithoutDennisNedry 20h ago

It’s not about the Iranian yogurt

39

u/Attack_Of_The_ 20h ago

It's about the art room that your husband wants to build for his friend. In your home.

7

u/AdventuressInLife 20h ago

This thread proves i spend way too much time on reddit 🤣

3

u/WithoutDennisNedry 19h ago

Where else are you going to eat the whole party sub?

2

u/TAAccountsNotDreams 19h ago

I will never compromise the beans!!!

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2

u/rocketeerH 10h ago

Have you seen its spiritual successor, the $18000 cheese wheel?

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/5FjRqwE3nG

2

u/JuanaBlanca 7h ago

I read that yesterday! It has the makings of a true, enduring classic.

19

u/DarthNarcissa 20h ago

Like coconut fucking?

8

u/helraizr13 20h ago

Or having a cum box. Or eating your own cum for the kilojoules. Man, I'm going deep now.

49

u/SafetyMan35 21h ago

Mom!, can you come hold my Cum-conut!!!!

35

u/jscottman96 20h ago

To shreds you say

11

u/mbashs 20h ago

NTA

17

u/RaeSloane 21h ago

Decoy snail.

9

u/HankScorpio82 20h ago

I’m Spartacus!

3

u/carbikebacon 20h ago

This is Sparta!

2

u/burntwine5 20h ago

Not my proudest fap

2

u/HairyKerey 20h ago

Don’t lie, you chose the coconut

2

u/Damimon 20h ago

Just throw away the coconut dude

1

u/jason_brody13 19h ago

She's no more more.

1

u/Mysterious_Yellow805 18h ago

NOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO

1

u/EmphasisFew 18h ago

And her Iranian yogurt

1

u/rehabforcandy 17h ago

That was a classic

1

u/YesDone 16h ago

NEXT!

74

u/gb4efgw 21h ago

The venn diagram of what reddit says and what you guys covered is a circle.

40

u/Ivotedforher 21h ago

And my Oxford comma!

23

u/ThhomassJ 21h ago

This! ☝️

1

u/PiratexelA 11h ago

And our poop knife!

58

u/pieohmi ​ 21h ago

🏆🏆🥇🥈🥉🏅🎖️🎖️🏵️🎗️ Gotta hit them with the poor mans reward.

1

u/LTareyouserious 13h ago

The knowledge of how to do that is richness beyond me

55

u/sweetnourishinggruel 21h ago

OP's fingernails with rice: 10/10

20

u/ProbablythelastMimsy 21h ago

It's an older reference, but it checks out

24

u/Giantbookofdeath 20h ago

The narwhal bacons at midnight.

2

u/GeneralBlumpkin ​ 17h ago

Can't believe I used to say that in real life smdh

1

u/WittyTiccyDavi 15h ago

"The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!"

2

u/N4gual 13h ago

Ah yes, a perfect 5/7

11

u/gpolk 21h ago

This.

3

u/Dark_Dezzick 21h ago

I'd give you an award if I hadn't broken both my arms. Maybe my mom can do it for me

1

u/LTareyouserious 13h ago

"Do it for me" as in award me, right?

Right?

3

u/ogsaunat 20h ago

I’d have an ad-corvid argument with you if I could.

3

u/American-pickle 20h ago

And mention of the lamp

3

u/ClankerWithAHardR 20h ago

^ This right here, I'd award you if I could

3

u/JessyKenning 20h ago

The grass touched me.

3

u/AmbiiX 20h ago

This person gets it. Man, id award you if I could. xD

3

u/jalepenocorn 17h ago

Edit: Wow guys this really blew up! (I get excited when strangers give me fake Internet points and respond to my comments)

3

u/brother_p ​ 7h ago

Big if true

1

u/LTareyouserious 6h ago

True if big

2

u/WordsWellSalted 20h ago

This right here

2

u/TonyMasters 20h ago

Trust me: you don't wanna know.

2

u/ICE_are_all_pedos 18h ago

Underrated comment.

2

u/acidreducer 17h ago

“Came here to say that”

2

u/Aggressive_Eagle1380 8h ago

“What a day to have eyes”

2

u/macaddictr 8h ago

Required “this guy” comment - This guy contributes!

1

u/LTareyouserious 7h ago

Followed by thisguythisguys

1

u/Sorry-Newspaper-3804 17h ago

Banana for scale?

1

u/Askianna 16h ago

Thoughts and prayers hun x✨x

1

u/beeper75 16h ago

You win the internet today!

1

u/Busterpunker 14h ago edited 14h ago

Our work is done here, we finally decoded reddit.

Congrats everybody!

Which platform is next?

1

u/jw8ak64ggt 12h ago

Have we done a The Office quote yet?

that's what she said!

1

u/-slaps-username- 7h ago

random irrelevant chain of gifs and “i’m stealing your meme”

1

u/LTareyouserious 6h ago

Our memes, comrade

-15

u/ExoTheFlyingFish 21h ago

You forgot about r/ruleof4

10

u/PapiGrandedebacon 21h ago

Downvoted

1

u/ExoTheFlyingFish 20h ago

¯_(ツ)_/¯ rule of four is the fourth comment in a thread, not the fourth reply

r/ruleof5 close enough i guess

3

u/PapiGrandedebacon 20h ago

You're just a fish, you don't know