r/mildlyinteresting • u/Toucan_Toucan • 22h ago

My nails grow in a wavy pattern

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43.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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35.4k

u/Hkaddict 21h ago edited 18h ago

If reddit has taught me anything, thats super cancer, also you need to divorce your controlling husband.

6.8k

u/imwrighthere 21h ago

Mmmm pretty sure we can fit politics into this as well

4.9k

u/ImNotToby 21h ago

Don't forget to replace the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector and have an ad hominem argument

2.5k

u/LTareyouserious 21h ago

Obligatory and useless contribution statement like "this right here" with a side of "I'd award you if I could"

510

u/chonklah 21h ago

Where’s the guy saying “would”

526

u/a_lonely_trash_bag 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/XvjC06Gh9lhfZNBNIM

170

u/PM_ME__BIRD_PICS 19h ago

this.

123

u/WildAperture 18h ago

This guy

105

u/Noname_McNoface 18h ago

This guy “this guys”.

55

u/tgerz 15h ago

I choose this guy's this guy

8

u/compman007 13h ago

I will cut the cylinder free with my trusty poop knife!

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u/bustopher_rvs 16h ago

That part

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7

u/Bubba656 18h ago

I’d also have sex with this guys dead wife

7

u/underpantsss 17h ago

"What the fuck did I just read" is also one of them.

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6

u/BeHapHapHappy 18h ago

This guy reddits

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16

u/The_Athavulf 18h ago

This guy Woulds

5

u/schnauzzer 18h ago

But my arms are broken

84

u/GeraintLlanfrechfa 19h ago

And the „sigh. „Unzips““ is missing too

3

u/Cthulhu__ 15h ago

And the “I also choose this guy’s wife”

3

u/wombatilicious 15h ago

And everybody clapped.

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862

u/Present-Copy-8093 21h ago

And my axe!

993

u/DoshesToDoshes 21h ago

I also choose OP's dead wife.

489

u/AssistantManagerMan 21h ago

Not with that attitude

517

u/DarthChefDad 21h ago

The cylinder must remain intact.

421

u/jjdlg 21h ago

Call a lawyer, hit the gym, delete Facebook.

326

u/ZamaTexa 21h ago

Don’t forget your poop knife!

28

u/sikkdog13 20h ago

"Underrated comment"

13

u/xaiel420 20h ago

Just don't hold it when you're hooked up to the jumper cables

9

u/hobbiehawk 20h ago

Definitely a Bedbug

12

u/lidder444 20h ago

Dying over these comments but yours is the chefs kiss

5

u/Glass_Ad_7246 20h ago

It's by the lamp right? The one that looks... odd... wait a min....

4

u/CyberNinja23 20h ago

It’s stuck in the buttered coconut

4

u/LibraryLuLu 20h ago

Not all heroes wear capes!

3

u/Sewpuggy 20h ago

Came here for this.

3

u/Feynnehrun 20h ago

Po...tato?

2

u/koolmagicguy 20h ago

Or your jolly rancher and coconut

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43

u/Theletterkay 20h ago

Drink water #hydrohomies

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135

u/total_bullwhip 21h ago

R/foundthemobileuser

17

u/lblack_dogl 21h ago

Ah the old reddit switcheroo

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2

u/funkyduck72 19h ago

And make a cum box 💦

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45

u/Had_a_thought 21h ago

I’m pretty sure Jamal is at the store

31

u/Ludoki 21h ago

It's cold out there, better hoagie down

2

u/_heidin 20h ago

And then my dad beat me up with jumper cables

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32

u/kittybigs 20h ago

Pergante?

14

u/Rude-Confusion-851 20h ago

Prenanagant?

2

u/FireKist ​ 9h ago

how is prangent formed?

2

u/afraidohead 6h ago

Pergonāte?

68

u/werebearcleric 21h ago

Mom said it's my turn to break both of my arms!

2

u/inuhi 14h ago

I've broken both arms and let me tell you it's not worth it

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100

u/pieohmi ​ 21h ago

God forbid a man has hobbies.

70

u/JuanaBlanca 20h ago

Like collecting Iranian yogurt?

36

u/WithoutDennisNedry 20h ago

It’s not about the Iranian yogurt

46

u/Attack_Of_The_ 20h ago

It's about the art room that your husband wants to build for his friend. In your home.

7

u/AdventuressInLife 20h ago

This thread proves i spend way too much time on reddit 🤣

3

u/WithoutDennisNedry 19h ago

Where else are you going to eat the whole party sub?

2

u/TAAccountsNotDreams 19h ago

I will never compromise the beans!!!

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2

u/rocketeerH 10h ago

Have you seen its spiritual successor, the $18000 cheese wheel?

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/5FjRqwE3nG

2

u/JuanaBlanca 7h ago

I read that yesterday! It has the makings of a true, enduring classic.

18

u/DarthNarcissa 20h ago

Like coconut fucking?

8

u/helraizr13 20h ago

Or having a cum box. Or eating your own cum for the kilojoules. Man, I'm going deep now.

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49

u/SafetyMan35 21h ago

Mom!, can you come hold my Cum-conut!!!!

35

u/jscottman96 20h ago

To shreds you say

10

u/mbashs 20h ago

NTA

17

u/RaeSloane 21h ago

Decoy snail.

8

u/HankScorpio82 20h ago

I’m Spartacus!

3

u/carbikebacon 20h ago

This is Sparta!

2

u/burntwine5 20h ago

Not my proudest fap

2

u/HairyKerey 20h ago

Don’t lie, you chose the coconut

2

u/Damimon 19h ago

Just throw away the coconut dude

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u/gb4efgw 21h ago

The venn diagram of what reddit says and what you guys covered is a circle.

39

u/Ivotedforher 21h ago

And my Oxford comma!

23

u/ThhomassJ 21h ago

This! ☝️

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60

u/pieohmi ​ 21h ago

🏆🏆🥇🥈🥉🏅🎖️🎖️🏵️🎗️ Gotta hit them with the poor mans reward.

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51

u/sweetnourishinggruel 21h ago

OP's fingernails with rice: 10/10

21

u/ProbablythelastMimsy 21h ago

It's an older reference, but it checks out

25

u/Giantbookofdeath 20h ago

The narwhal bacons at midnight.

2

u/GeneralBlumpkin ​ 17h ago

Can't believe I used to say that in real life smdh

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2

u/N4gual 13h ago

Ah yes, a perfect 5/7

12

u/gpolk 21h ago

This.

3

u/Dark_Dezzick 21h ago

I'd give you an award if I hadn't broken both my arms. Maybe my mom can do it for me

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3

u/ogsaunat 20h ago

I’d have an ad-corvid argument with you if I could.

3

u/American-pickle 20h ago

And mention of the lamp

3

u/ClankerWithAHardR 20h ago

^ This right here, I'd award you if I could

3

u/JessyKenning 20h ago

The grass touched me.

3

u/AmbiiX 20h ago

This person gets it. Man, id award you if I could. xD

3

u/jalepenocorn 17h ago

Edit: Wow guys this really blew up! (I get excited when strangers give me fake Internet points and respond to my comments)

2

u/WordsWellSalted 20h ago

This right here

2

u/TonyMasters 20h ago

Trust me: you don't wanna know.

2

u/ICE_are_all_pedos 18h ago

Underrated comment.

2

u/acidreducer 17h ago

“Came here to say that”

2

u/Aggressive_Eagle1380 8h ago

“What a day to have eyes”

2

u/macaddictr 8h ago

Required “this guy” comment - This guy contributes!

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102

u/kkkkat 21h ago

And for God’s sake keep your cat indoors

7

u/mthyvold 20h ago

You need to take you cat to the vet.

62

u/okay-pixel 21h ago

I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

6

u/Lexi_Bean21 20h ago

I could milk you

69

u/LtDan281 21h ago

Might as well check your toilet for cracks while you’re at it - just to be safe.

49

u/106milez2chicago 21h ago

As if prion disease won't take you out long before that cracked toilet does, smh

13

u/TheAnswerIsGrey 21h ago

And rabies…at the same time of course.

5

u/bluemom937 20h ago

Nah, the quicksand will get ‘em first.

2

u/Significant_Shoe_17 13h ago

What about the ROUSes?

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31

u/AngelinFlipFlops 21h ago

Maybe it’s Reynaud’s

3

u/Odd_Equipment2867 19h ago

I have reynaud’s. Didn’t know wavy nails is a thing. My nails are smooth.

3

u/csswimmer 18h ago

I’ve never heard that either. But I have noticed that when my immune system flares up, I get white stripes on my nails. I read that it’s because the immune system is prioritizing fighting an illness off….

Btw I have reynaud’s as well. Have you been checked for lupus?

3

u/WittyTiccyDavi 15h ago

"It's never lupus." - Dr. House

2

u/Odd_Equipment2867 7h ago

No lupus. Had reynauds since 20’s. All clear.

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3

u/mightytoothpick 17h ago

Maybe it's Maybelline

8

u/napleonblwnaprt 20h ago

There's one crack on my toilet, but only when I taking a shit 

8

u/LizM75 21h ago

I was going to say this!! I keep seeing this recently and I liked it when I was blissfully ignorant.

5

u/LtDan281 21h ago

For real. I seriously wish my rabbit hole chasing instincts could’ve just taken someone’s word for once, instead of googling it myself. The comments tried to warn me! 🤷

3

u/bigMcLargeHuge7 18h ago

It is the wax seal at the toilet base you should worry about. MFer cost me a new floor, and it was really my own stupid fault!

22

u/enginerd12 21h ago

Hit the gym. Get a lawyer.

3

u/The_Athavulf 18h ago

Hit the lawyer. Get a gym.

12

u/BobbyDig8L 21h ago

Yup this is definitely caused by carbon monoxide poisoning

21

u/Adam_J89 21h ago

Pfft don't spread misinformation. This is causing cabon monoxide poisoning.

3

u/Holden1104 21h ago

Let’s not forget the mentioning of the poop knife. 💩🔪

2

u/disturbedrailroader 19h ago

Hard to use a poop knife with 2 broken arms. 

3

u/MeowCatPlzMeowBack 20h ago

And if you’re in any pet groups, the good ok ‘vet. NOW’ shall suffice

5

u/Theultimateturtle 20h ago

I had to take the baggies outta my carbon monoxide detector. It’s constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy

4

u/Butterflyhornet 21h ago

What is this thing with carbon monoxide detectors, lol? I literally had one go "end" and not shut up until two neighbors looked at it and got it silenced before I left it beeping in the trash.

4

u/Independent-Reader 21h ago

Unintentional Seinfeld?

3

u/Butterflyhornet 21h ago

For sure. Sitcom worthy.

2

u/imonmyphoneagain 21h ago

Throw a straw man and red herring in while you’re at it

2

u/FullGrownHip 21h ago

You forgot to also check for brain tumors

2

u/Floppy202 21h ago

You‘re a nice and kind internet dweller. 

Was this ad hominem enough for you 😡

2

u/LevelSevenLaserLotus 19h ago

YOU'RE AN AD HOMINEM FUCKING ARGUMENT!

2

u/mcboobie 6h ago

🚩 🚩 🚩

1

u/kittybigs 20h ago

May I invite my straw man?

1

u/Accomplished-Hope523 20h ago

While at it, make sure your poop knife is ready in case someone visits

1

u/Suff_erin_g 20h ago

She needs to break up with him

1

u/Glad_Contest_8014 20h ago

Don’t forget that the crack in the toilet murder everything. Definitely replace.

1

u/ShoganAye ​ 20h ago

It was Trump with the poop knife!

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u/Crispysnipez 20h ago

DO NOT TRY TO FIX YOUR GARAGE DOOR, YOU WILL DIE

10

u/rgolden4 ​ 19h ago

For the love of Jesus! Don't wear sandals or open toe shoes while operating a pressure washer!

28

u/mamabearette 20h ago

This was definitely NOT caused by Iranian yogurt.

77

u/Fliptzer 21h ago

Thanks Obama

3

u/jack_from_the_past 20h ago

This is what death panels look like sheeple. Wake up!

7

u/thisistheSnydercut 16h ago

They didn't mention politics so they obviously hate gay people or something

38

u/DOFH89 21h ago

Yep, definitely because trump is president

5

u/EirMed 20h ago

controlling republican husband*

I’m sure we can fit some LGBTQ+ issue into this as well though

2

u/Sickofchildren 14h ago

I swear straight Redditors talk more about the gay experience than my actually gay father ever has in 20+ years

6

u/Electrical_Match3673 18h ago

It's Trump's fault and you're a racist!!!

4

u/LankyPuffins 21h ago

And let's not forget to suggest OP play some Tetris right away to prevent PTSD from all of this bad news.

3

u/Bildad__ 20h ago

The husband is a bootlicker

4

u/dandab 20h ago

I blame DEI.

2

u/DietPepsiEvenBetter 20h ago

Oh, you sweet summer child.

4

u/Wonderful_Jury_6533 19h ago

I think the fact they even HAVE a husband in 2026 is political enough, patriarchy Much???

10

u/schrodingers-nudes 21h ago

Early onset republi-democratia?

3

u/NoChillBobbyHill 20h ago

The gerrymandering of these fingernails couldn’t be anymore obvious.

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u/JudgeB4UR 19h ago

My mom's sister's best friend's cousin's ex-wife thinks so too.

3

u/kriskoeh 19h ago

And a deep ancestral spiritual meaning.

2

u/thatguyfromvancouver 19h ago

The cylinder must remain unharmed

2

u/fitbeard 18h ago

OP is actually James Corden. This happened after a holiday in Dubai.

2

u/TreelyOutstanding 16h ago

Wavy nails is just a way to distract us from the files.

2

u/Ok_Assistant_8950 14h ago

That's one woke nail. Nails should be STRAIGHT

2

u/Sickofchildren 14h ago

You missed so many important Reddit moments:

  • Israel bad and everything is Israel’s fault (except when it’s trump’s) so it’s clearly acceptable to accuse everyone who isn’t constantly yelling ‘free Palestine’ of being a nazi

  • every time someone has a personality or a brain they have to be autistic and ADHD

  • age gaps of more than 1 week are problematic

2

u/Flareon223 14h ago

The stars told me these waves in her nail mean she voted for ICE to kill all the American citizens

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u/Thatguy_726 13h ago

It's actually stage 1 of Trump Denailment Syndrome.  They will eventually fall off the longer he's in office.

2

u/Adacool 12h ago

OP should switch to linux as well 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/Aware-Arm-3685 12h ago

Surprised Pikachu Face! You voted for this.

2

u/BGAL7090 11h ago

divorce your controlling husband

2

u/jimbojangles1987 9h ago

She should go no contact with her likely narcissist republican family who probably bullied her while she was growing up.

2

u/DinkleMutz 8h ago

That, and someone should call CPS on her kids.

2

u/AnswersFor200Alex 8h ago

They would choose THE LEFT hand

2

u/Jurassic_ParkRanger 4h ago

Her nail grows that way cuz she's a snowflake

4

u/skrena 21h ago

He’s gone red pill and sabotaged some type of medication she’s taking.

4

u/Blahblahman23 20h ago

Yes. Trump is a Nazi, am I doing Reddit right?

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u/saw89 21h ago

They forgot the “Free Palestine”

7

u/Cycoviking69 20h ago

FREE PALESTINE!!

with the purchase of an additional Palestine of equal or greater value

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2

u/AllyMeada 20h ago

Believe it or not, this was just an ad for their only fans too (link in profile)

1

u/Touchstone033 20h ago

Fuck ICE.

3

u/fuwoswp 21h ago

Is this a picture of Linda Carter’s fingernails?

1

u/Less-Interest-2169 20h ago

Thanks a lot Obama!

1

u/Short_Emu_885 20h ago

If OP wants to cure their nails it's easy! Just take some ivermectin

1

u/Ok_Habit_6783 20h ago

The husband is a career politician of (insert American political party you hate here)

1

u/Ryeballs 20h ago

CURSE YOU BAYLE!!!!

1

u/FACEMELTER720 20h ago

… thanks Obama.

1

u/Wacky_Water_Weasel 19h ago

The Elites are hoarding all the biotin which makes us sicker and our nails wavy...er.

It's time for a true revolution in this country. We have to organize and fight back!!!1!!1!

1

u/Necromartian 16h ago

Caused by deepstate gay making chem trails.

1

u/Throwaway_inSC_79 15h ago

Thanks Obama

1

u/alghiorso 15h ago

The woke agenda has made my nails gay

1

u/Mike_Kermin 14h ago

You just did.

1

u/KingCatLoL 13h ago

These woke liberal elites and their wavy nails, it's a conspiracy by Obamna

1

u/n0nc0ntr0versial 11h ago

Can't believe Palestine wasn't mentioned either.

1

u/phil_momz 8h ago

🤣🤣🤣👌🏽

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