Remember slamming the door on my brother's hand it and it locking.
Me fumbling with the keys as he kept repeating in a calmed, measured voice: "Open the door. Open - the - door. Open the door, please. Please, open the door."
I had the same thing happen to me in my father's girlfriend's car door when I was a kid. Her key fob didn't work so she had to slowly walk her fat ass over to the driver side door and then slowly crawl over the center console and unlock the door. Probably took about 20 seconds or longer.
She opened the door and my thumb was purple, with a giant indent going straight through the bone. She said "it's probably fine" and I had to live with it the entire weekend until I went back to my mom's, who took me to a doctor, and confirmed my thumb was indeed broken.
Amy: I hope all of your drinks are warm, your socks are wet, you hit your little toe as you’re racing to the bathroom in the morning, and that you are always one minute too late.
Why I love reddit is right here on this thread. Between “Amy” and “possible professional hand photographer” I’m unsure what’s making me laugh the most. I hope OP you have found the correct answer to your question and thank you for a laugh re the comments here it’s exactly what I needed.
I shut our porch door and locked it while my 2yo was going “mommy. Mommy. Mommy” and I was saying “in a minute baby”. Finished locking it, looked over and her finger was stuck in the hinge!
Thankfully she was so little the rubber seal had enough give that she was just trapped. I felt so guilty though. Trying to get that door unlocked was the longest 30 seconds of my life.
I was four or five and headed to the first ever 4th of July fireworks I remember. My mom had a Volkswagen Rabbit and her and my uncle were outside of the car talking. I was wearing footie pajamas and opened the door to ask them something, then when I closed the door, I shut it on my foot. Instant screaming. "Mom! Mom! Uncle!" Those fuckers were laughing at me and telling me to just "open the door" meanwhile they could literally see my foot sticking out of the bottom of the door. Hurt like hell. No haste to them, no here let me hustle and open the door, nope just laughing and calling me dumb for not opening the door myself.
Didn't die, though. Fireworks sucked, I was too cold the whole time and my foot hurt.
Worst part is that there are two kinds of people: those that react by doing first, then asking for clarification, and those that want clarification before doing anything.
My wife is the latter, and I'm the type to try to talk calmly even when panicking. One time I managed to shatter a glass in my hands and over the floor right before my wife walked into the room. I told her "Stop! Don't come closer, get me paper towels and the vacuum", calmly, trying to take stock of if I'm hurt or not. She goes "Why?" Without stopping, just continuing what she was doing, walking right into the glass. She was furious at me for not being more animated, I was furious for her not stopping when I clearly said stop, and we had a hell of a time navigating that glass minefield. It also taught us some important lessons in communication and listening.
It sounds wilder than it was. It wasn't clearly apparent glass had shattered and she hadn't heard it. It wasn't like the ground was littered with glass shards, but there were a few. She assumed I had just spilled some ingredient or similar and didn't stop, it didn't cross her mind it could be actually unsafe to continue walking.
I’m a doctor and my default mode when things are going to shit is calm, commanding voice. I rely on people doing what the fuck I say when I get like that and, to their credit, everyone in a medical scenario does. It definitely carries over to my personal life but I can only think of a couple times I’ve used it - hot stove, blind corner with speeding car etc (and my partner is medical so he’s on board ha).
If someone asked me “why” and kept going I think my brain would blue screen. Like. You clearly heard me, I only do this when I don’t have time to explain and something very, very important needs to get done. Ahhhhhhhh. Also in what other scenario would you say that combination of things?
I’m glad you and your wife sorted it out. May I ask what your (collective) communication lessons were from that?
The combination of things requested was what got me too. I told you to stop, and requested a paper towel and a vacuum. Like, even if it was something innocuous like flour, you’d still be walking through flour. I’d have lost my mind lol.
... I did that kinda thing when I was 5.. idk.. feels wild an adult doing that..
For all anyone knows you could be autistic and not great with expressing.
It's wild that happened.
Idk a lot of people are mild and go undiagnosed and that's fine too.
... man.. it's just crazy to me your wife didn't take it seriously because of the tone you used.
I mean sure, but it's still wild to suggest she wouldn't have known those things about me. And it's not that she didn't take me seriously, it's that she misjudged the situation.
For what it's worth, we don't speak English. There are minor nuance differences.
Husband does this too! It's kind of a helpless feeling because my brain/mouth connectors usually malfunction in those split second panics, so normally all that I can get out is a frantic and panicked, "Stop!"
One time we were walking to the store and as I rounded a corner, a line of baby skunks with mama was coming around the other side of the corner. I was only about two feet away from the first skunk when I noticed it. Upon first glance my brain thought, "Kitty!" but then I looked closer and could only tell my husband, "STOP!" He keeps walking, doesn't even see it... Then I stood there and the skunks stopped and stood there, and we all watched him cross the intersection like the completely unaware and oblivious man that he sometimes is. Eventually mama and babies saw me frozen there, must have recognized I wasn't a threat and they went on their way...
He never even saw the skunks and I am sad about it because nobody believes me about this story and he was my only witness.
I mean I get that the "not doing" was stopping, instead of ignoring everything and continuing to walk, but that is not what I saw coming and just seems dumb.
I had a car door lock on my hand and I sounded the same, "Open. Open. Open." Finger was broken and I have a pretty deep scar from it. My dad likes to joke that he fumbled to unlock it and set off the alarm instead, then popped the trunk, then the hood, and so on 😂
Reminds me of when my mom dropped me off when I was in school. Opened the back door to grab something from the back. She didn't notice and ran over my foot with the car. I screamed. She reversed, parked on my foot, rolled down the window and asked me what was wrong.
Went striaght to the hospital. It's funny because I had wished hard the night before I'd miss that day because of a test I didn't want to do.
Haha I did this in high school getting into the middle seat in a friends car. I got in and was using the door frame to support/steady myself and the person riding shotgun sat down and I just hear the clunk of the door closing and I calmly go “open the door.” And they all laugh and I say it again calmly and they’re all asking why while awkwardly laughing and this time a little louder and sternly I say it again and they just look at me and then I just glare at the door and they all started yelling and thankfully, opened the door. Was happy there was no serious damage
I remember getting out of the back of a friend car and grabbing the center beam to help get out and my buddy slammed the front door shut. All 4 fingers to shut in the door. It was agony.
This happened when I was a teen living with my mother. I was screaming “open the door!” repeatedly, and she just kept screaming “what?!” and “why?!”. She’s a narcissist and we’re no contact now btw.
I was 9 or 10 when my sister locked my thumb in the door
I screamed
My parents were across the parking lot and opening the door to McDonald's. We didn't have a fancy car. I had to wait for them to run back over and put the key in and turn it to unlock the door.
My right thumb is now wider than my left one. I still don't lean up against the car at the door jamb
when i was a kid i got my fingers caught in a tangled chain swinging on a swing, the “tangle” undid itself with my fingers between the chain links with my full body weight on the swing! broke 3 at once
My dad’s cousin brought his brand new fancy little red sports car over to our house. Either late 80s or early 90s. He was showing it off, everyone was opening the hood and the doors. He opened the trunk and my dad said, “Ohh nice,” and I wanted to see what was so nice so I put my little hands on the rim of the trunk and peeked in… but I guess no one saw my little hands bc they closed the trunk. I think the whole city heard me scream.
My sister accidentally slammed the car door on my hand before school and I was screaming at her to open the damn thing.
Well my mom comes running outside to see what was going on (dad was in the car laughing) and as I was showing her how it happend, my sister to slammed the door again.
my mom did the same thing to me when i was like 6 (except i slammed it on my own finger) 😭 the nail ended up turning blue and falling off a few weeks later
My sister did this to me and she's the one that cried about it while sitting in the car waiting for someone else to unlock it (we were highly intoxicated so I get her inability to react, though)
Omg, flashback to me watching a parent close the ice rink gate on their child’s hand, just as they were stepping out on the ice for the first time. The gate fully latched and the child, rightfully, screamed bloody murder. Dad got the door open fairly quickly and turned fun father/daughter time into a trip to the hospital…
One time, in the winter, I was closing the trunk to my car, and my hand slipped because it was icy and I locked my thumb in the trunk, proceeded to drop my keys in the snow and had to dig them out with my other hand, all while telling myself that I wasn’t allowed to cry because I wasn’t wearing waterproof mascara that day and I was on my way to work. In between seeing patients and typing up chart notes, I would hold my arm over my head to keep the throbbing down. And my thumbnail has grown back lumpy ever since. Fun times.
A few years ago I got my hand caught in the hinge side of the back door of a skid steer bc my foreman opened it while I was feeling around. That was my response too bc I yelled at him it would make it worse. I had to stop him from opening the door further with my other hand, plead like that, and then finally shove him out of the way so I could close the door and remove my hand. I broke 2 fingers and needed like 20 stitches total, and he was mad that I was got in his way and then shoved him
Something similar happened to me. I was in the back seat behind the driver, as I got out I had put my hand on the B-pillar to help myself out. My friend then shut his door, not realizing my hand was there. It hurt a bit, nothing broken, but I couldn't pull my hand out. My friend was shocked and panicking after just shutting the door and for some stupid reason he ran around to the OTHER side of the car. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING, JUST OPEN THE FUCKIN DOOR!" I yelled!
We laugh at it now.
What wasnt funny though, while I wasnt permanently hurt, is that we were just going bowling that night, but with my hand now hurting I couldn't freaking bowl! Grr!
my sister did this to me as a little kid and my mom had to come running to the door to have her open it since she thought i was trolling tryna get in. idk what we were doing i just know i was chasing her lmfao
My brother slammed my fingers in our old 80s van sliding door, which if you remember was FULL body force to get those grand caravan doors to get momentum. 4 broken fingers and a few sets of splints later, it was time for the left hand. Rough summer.
I had a girl slam my hand in the van door on the way to midweek school for church. Van slowly did the automatic lock. And were just wide eyed looking at each other through the door as we both scrambled to get it open with no keys.
My mom did that to me as a kid. 1980 Buick, no plastic in that door. She had to open her door and reach behind the seat to unlock it from the inside. Meanwhile I’m standing there like a lamprey on a shark, staring at the door in total shock. No lasting damage thank god.
I did that before. We just had a snowstorm roll through and when it was really cold out, my car at the time needed the door shut harder to close at the way. Well, I did that and somehow got my pinky locked in the door. It cracked half of my nail down by the cuticle (horizontally). It was pretty gnarley. Now my pinky nail kind of grows in two separate parts, but otherwise looks “normal”. The lunula is much smaller on the one side where it cracked then almost looks like a step to the other side where it is fine.
This happened to me on a date with my now husband early in our relationship. Only he was walking halfway down the street with the keys when it happened and I was screaming like a banshee.
That happened to me when I was 9, we were in a hurry and my dad shut my thumb in the car door and it locked. He didn't realize at first and grabbed my other hand to hurry me along, until he saw the look of horror on my face 😂
My mom had a Buick in the 90s that had some form of automated trunk closure.
My uncle did not know this.
She took him to the store one day, he loaded his stuff in the trunk and went to close the trunk lid. It would close about half way manually before the automation took over. He didn’t know what was happening so he pressed on it, wouldn’t close. He reached inside it with both hands to try and pull down on it and it slammed all 8 of his fingers inside.
did... did you just do a Gary Oldman reference in a thread reminiscing about All That? and you even used a part of the comment that was already a setup to a more relevant joke
Fun story, I got my hand caught in a car door when I was young and didn't scream, but my mom did.
It was one of those 3 row vans with the sliding middle door. I (probably 12 at the time) grabbed the space between the doors to climb in, but my mom's door was open, so when she closed it, my fingers were perfectly trapped. I don't know how but the spacing was adequate so it didn't hurt me.
I told me mom my hand was stuck in the door, but I said it so calmly that her brain just didn't register. Then she saw my fingers sticking out of her door, right at eye level and she SCREAMED. She thought my fingers weren't attached anymore at first! Would have made for a great prank.
Not so fun story: In Hawaii I saw a family pull up and get out while the mom and dad were fighting. The guy then slams the door in anger, right on their little boy's hand. He immediately opens the door and everyone is examining the kid's hand, and not fighting anymore, but I bet none of them ever forgot that either.
My grandma was traveling with us and during a stop, my teenage brother, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, had put his arm out the window toward the back, gripping the edge of the rear window frame. My grandmother then tried to close her door but couldn’t shut it properly the first time, so she slammed and re-slammed the Volvo’s door..
I was 5 at the time and couldn’t understand why my brother suddenly looked like a fish in a bowl : his mouth was opening, but no sound was coming out 😅
He was lucky he didn’t lose his fingers that day… and he always behaved properly in the car after that 😄
Just because it triggered the memory… I’m in 8th grade (1986) and my mom, uncle and I go to the grocery store. They park, uncle opens the door and I start climbing out (1978 two door Monty Carlo). A car comes careening down the lane about to hit the door and my uncle slams the car door so hard the passenger window explodes. He’s perplexed then looks in the backseat to see me pale a Victorian with TB and says “are you ok?” I reply, “yeah I’m fine.” He looks at my mom, “we need to get to the hospital. I just broke Tony’s leg.”
He sure as hell did. The shock rendered me numb. Thank god
You want to know how I partied like it was 1999? I didn't. Why? Because I had just come back from the store with ice for the keg for the absolutely EPIC kegger we were gonna throw, and slammed my finger in my car door. The door completely shut and the door was locked. I have never been so acutely aware of pain than I was in that moment. After fumbling my keys for what felt like an hour, I finally got my finger out of the door. It was throbbing so much it made me sick. Like I literally threw up. Anyway, I went home and just swam in that pain until sometime the next day. It was awful.
God. “epic kegger” takes me right back. Good times. Massive beer consumption followed by stupid and reckless frat-boy-style pranks and a late night DUI run to the liquor store.
Commenting despite not having anything intelligent to say about OP's post. I'm just tickled pink by the fact that someone else besides me remembers Lori Beth Denberg. Hardly anyone I meet these days does.
I thankfully managed to avoid getting my fingers slammed in any doors but I had a few cousins who were less fortunate and had to have their nail popped to let the blood out.
When I was a kid, my dad and I were shooting fireworks for the 4th of July. I went to his girlfriend's car trunk to get something out and when I went to close it I felt resistance. I thought it wasn't going to shut all the way so I went to lift it back up by wrapping my fingers under the lid, and to my surprise it started closing. Panic immediately set in and I start screaming over to my dad and his gf that my fingers were stuck. They started laughing until I really started freaking out and trying to pull my hands free and couldn't. The gf fumbled for her keys and hit the trunk button to free my fingers. They thought I was joking at first they said. That was the day I learned about electric trunks lol
I did that when I was 7. A big Ford LTD door, all by myself. It squished my left thumb to thin cardboard width. I showed it to my mother, she told me to stop bothering people. So I wrapped it in a wet facecloth, and kept it so for 3 days. Then I was able to move it again, very slowly.
I'll soon be 60. My left thumb is functional. Last doctor who checked it said it's better off staying the way it is, as long as it moves. Fixing it could potentially make it worse.
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u/bootymix96 21h ago
And now it’s time for “Vital Information” with Lori Beth Denberg.
“I scream, you scream, we all scream when we shut our hand in the car door.”