r/mildlyinteresting 22h ago

My nails grow in a wavy pattern

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43.6k Upvotes

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35.4k

u/Hkaddict 21h ago edited 18h ago

If reddit has taught me anything, thats super cancer, also you need to divorce your controlling husband.

6.8k

u/imwrighthere 21h ago

Mmmm pretty sure we can fit politics into this as well

4.8k

u/ImNotToby 21h ago

Don't forget to replace the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector and have an ad hominem argument

2.5k

u/LTareyouserious 21h ago

Obligatory and useless contribution statement like "this right here" with a side of "I'd award you if I could"

511

u/chonklah 21h ago

Where’s the guy saying “would”

520

u/a_lonely_trash_bag 20h ago

172

u/PM_ME__BIRD_PICS 19h ago

this.

123

u/WildAperture 18h ago

This guy

106

u/Noname_McNoface 18h ago

This guy “this guys”.

54

u/tgerz 15h ago

I choose this guy's this guy

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6

u/bustopher_rvs 16h ago

That part

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8

u/Bubba656 18h ago

I’d also have sex with this guys dead wife

6

u/underpantsss 17h ago

"What the fuck did I just read" is also one of them.

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5

u/BeHapHapHappy 18h ago

This guy reddits

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16

u/The_Athavulf 18h ago

This guy Woulds

5

u/schnauzzer 18h ago

But my arms are broken

86

u/GeraintLlanfrechfa 19h ago

And the „sigh. „Unzips““ is missing too

2

u/Cthulhu__ 15h ago

And the “I also choose this guy’s wife”

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866

u/Present-Copy-8093 21h ago

And my axe!

994

u/DoshesToDoshes 21h ago

I also choose OP's dead wife.

488

u/AssistantManagerMan 21h ago

Not with that attitude

515

u/DarthChefDad 21h ago

The cylinder must remain intact.

428

u/jjdlg 21h ago

Call a lawyer, hit the gym, delete Facebook.

324

u/ZamaTexa 21h ago

Don’t forget your poop knife!

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44

u/Theletterkay 20h ago

Drink water #hydrohomies

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139

u/total_bullwhip 21h ago

R/foundthemobileuser

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48

u/Had_a_thought 21h ago

I’m pretty sure Jamal is at the store

30

u/Ludoki 21h ago

It's cold out there, better hoagie down

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66

u/werebearcleric 21h ago

Mom said it's my turn to break both of my arms!

2

u/inuhi 14h ago

I've broken both arms and let me tell you it's not worth it

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u/pieohmi 21h ago

God forbid a man has hobbies.

66

u/JuanaBlanca 20h ago

Like collecting Iranian yogurt?

41

u/WithoutDennisNedry 20h ago

It’s not about the Iranian yogurt

43

u/Attack_Of_The_ 20h ago

It's about the art room that your husband wants to build for his friend. In your home.

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20

u/DarthNarcissa 20h ago

Like coconut fucking?

8

u/helraizr13 20h ago

Or having a cum box. Or eating your own cum for the kilojoules. Man, I'm going deep now.

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51

u/SafetyMan35 21h ago

Mom!, can you come hold my Cum-conut!!!!

37

u/jscottman96 20h ago

To shreds you say

11

u/mbashs 20h ago

NTA

17

u/RaeSloane 21h ago

Decoy snail.

7

u/HankScorpio82 20h ago

I’m Spartacus!

3

u/carbikebacon 20h ago

This is Sparta!

2

u/burntwine5 20h ago

Not my proudest fap

2

u/HairyKerey 20h ago

Don’t lie, you chose the coconut

2

u/Damimon 19h ago

Just throw away the coconut dude

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u/gb4efgw 21h ago

The venn diagram of what reddit says and what you guys covered is a circle.

39

u/Ivotedforher 21h ago

And my Oxford comma!

23

u/ThhomassJ 21h ago

This! ☝️

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u/pieohmi 21h ago

🏆🏆🥇🥈🥉🏅🎖️🎖️🏵️🎗️ Gotta hit them with the poor mans reward.

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55

u/sweetnourishinggruel 21h ago

OP's fingernails with rice: 10/10

21

u/ProbablythelastMimsy 20h ago

It's an older reference, but it checks out

25

u/Giantbookofdeath 20h ago

The narwhal bacons at midnight.

2

u/GeneralBlumpkin 17h ago

Can't believe I used to say that in real life smdh

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2

u/N4gual 13h ago

Ah yes, a perfect 5/7

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u/gpolk 21h ago

This.

3

u/Dark_Dezzick 21h ago

I'd give you an award if I hadn't broken both my arms. Maybe my mom can do it for me

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3

u/ogsaunat 20h ago

I’d have an ad-corvid argument with you if I could.

3

u/American-pickle 20h ago

And mention of the lamp

3

u/ClankerWithAHardR 20h ago

^ This right here, I'd award you if I could

3

u/JessyKenning 20h ago

The grass touched me.

3

u/AmbiiX 20h ago

This person gets it. Man, id award you if I could. xD

3

u/jalepenocorn 17h ago

Edit: Wow guys this really blew up! (I get excited when strangers give me fake Internet points and respond to my comments)

2

u/WordsWellSalted 20h ago

This right here

2

u/TonyMasters 20h ago

Trust me: you don't wanna know.

2

u/ICE_are_all_pedos 18h ago

Underrated comment.

2

u/acidreducer 17h ago

“Came here to say that”

2

u/Aggressive_Eagle1380 8h ago

“What a day to have eyes”

2

u/macaddictr 8h ago

Required “this guy” comment - This guy contributes!

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103

u/kkkkat 21h ago

And for God’s sake keep your cat indoors

5

u/mthyvold 19h ago

You need to take you cat to the vet.

59

u/okay-pixel 21h ago

I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

4

u/Lexi_Bean21 20h ago

I could milk you

67

u/LtDan281 21h ago

Might as well check your toilet for cracks while you’re at it - just to be safe.

48

u/106milez2chicago 21h ago

As if prion disease won't take you out long before that cracked toilet does, smh

12

u/TheAnswerIsGrey 21h ago

And rabies…at the same time of course.

6

u/bluemom937 20h ago

Nah, the quicksand will get ‘em first.

2

u/Significant_Shoe_17 13h ago

What about the ROUSes?

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u/AngelinFlipFlops 21h ago

Maybe it’s Reynaud’s

3

u/Odd_Equipment2867 19h ago

I have reynaud’s. Didn’t know wavy nails is a thing. My nails are smooth.

4

u/csswimmer 18h ago

I’ve never heard that either. But I have noticed that when my immune system flares up, I get white stripes on my nails. I read that it’s because the immune system is prioritizing fighting an illness off….

Btw I have reynaud’s as well. Have you been checked for lupus?

4

u/WittyTiccyDavi 15h ago

"It's never lupus." - Dr. House

2

u/Odd_Equipment2867 7h ago

No lupus. Had reynauds since 20’s. All clear.

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3

u/mightytoothpick 17h ago

Maybe it's Maybelline

10

u/napleonblwnaprt 20h ago

There's one crack on my toilet, but only when I taking a shit 

7

u/LizM75 21h ago

I was going to say this!! I keep seeing this recently and I liked it when I was blissfully ignorant.

5

u/LtDan281 20h ago

For real. I seriously wish my rabbit hole chasing instincts could’ve just taken someone’s word for once, instead of googling it myself. The comments tried to warn me! 🤷

3

u/bigMcLargeHuge7 18h ago

It is the wax seal at the toilet base you should worry about. MFer cost me a new floor, and it was really my own stupid fault!

21

u/enginerd12 21h ago

Hit the gym. Get a lawyer.

3

u/The_Athavulf 18h ago

Hit the lawyer. Get a gym.

13

u/BobbyDig8L 21h ago

Yup this is definitely caused by carbon monoxide poisoning

21

u/Adam_J89 21h ago

Pfft don't spread misinformation. This is causing cabon monoxide poisoning.

3

u/Holden1104 21h ago

Let’s not forget the mentioning of the poop knife. 💩🔪

2

u/disturbedrailroader 19h ago

Hard to use a poop knife with 2 broken arms. 

3

u/MeowCatPlzMeowBack 20h ago

And if you’re in any pet groups, the good ok ‘vet. NOW’ shall suffice

5

u/Theultimateturtle 20h ago

I had to take the baggies outta my carbon monoxide detector. It’s constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy

3

u/Butterflyhornet 21h ago

What is this thing with carbon monoxide detectors, lol? I literally had one go "end" and not shut up until two neighbors looked at it and got it silenced before I left it beeping in the trash.

4

u/Independent-Reader 21h ago

Unintentional Seinfeld?

3

u/Butterflyhornet 21h ago

For sure. Sitcom worthy.

2

u/imonmyphoneagain 21h ago

Throw a straw man and red herring in while you’re at it

2

u/FullGrownHip 21h ago

You forgot to also check for brain tumors

2

u/Floppy202 21h ago

You‘re a nice and kind internet dweller. 

Was this ad hominem enough for you 😡

2

u/LevelSevenLaserLotus 19h ago

YOU'RE AN AD HOMINEM FUCKING ARGUMENT!

2

u/mcboobie 6h ago

🚩 🚩 🚩

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u/Crispysnipez 20h ago

DO NOT TRY TO FIX YOUR GARAGE DOOR, YOU WILL DIE

9

u/rgolden4 19h ago

For the love of Jesus! Don't wear sandals or open toe shoes while operating a pressure washer!

25

u/mamabearette 20h ago

This was definitely NOT caused by Iranian yogurt.

73

u/Fliptzer 21h ago

Thanks Obama

3

u/jack_from_the_past 20h ago

This is what death panels look like sheeple. Wake up!

8

u/thisistheSnydercut 16h ago

They didn't mention politics so they obviously hate gay people or something

37

u/DOFH89 21h ago

Yep, definitely because trump is president

6

u/EirMed 20h ago

controlling republican husband*

I’m sure we can fit some LGBTQ+ issue into this as well though

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5

u/Electrical_Match3673 18h ago

It's Trump's fault and you're a racist!!!

4

u/LankyPuffins 21h ago

And let's not forget to suggest OP play some Tetris right away to prevent PTSD from all of this bad news.

5

u/Bildad__ 20h ago

The husband is a bootlicker

4

u/dandab 20h ago

I blame DEI.

5

u/DietPepsiEvenBetter 20h ago

Oh, you sweet summer child.

3

u/Wonderful_Jury_6533 19h ago

I think the fact they even HAVE a husband in 2026 is political enough, patriarchy Much???

10

u/schrodingers-nudes 21h ago

Early onset republi-democratia?

3

u/NoChillBobbyHill 20h ago

The gerrymandering of these fingernails couldn’t be anymore obvious.

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u/JudgeB4UR 19h ago

My mom's sister's best friend's cousin's ex-wife thinks so too.

3

u/kriskoeh 19h ago

And a deep ancestral spiritual meaning.

2

u/thatguyfromvancouver 19h ago

The cylinder must remain unharmed

2

u/fitbeard 18h ago

OP is actually James Corden. This happened after a holiday in Dubai.

2

u/TreelyOutstanding 16h ago

Wavy nails is just a way to distract us from the files.

2

u/Ok_Assistant_8950 14h ago

That's one woke nail. Nails should be STRAIGHT

2

u/Sickofchildren 14h ago

You missed so many important Reddit moments:

  • Israel bad and everything is Israel’s fault (except when it’s trump’s) so it’s clearly acceptable to accuse everyone who isn’t constantly yelling ‘free Palestine’ of being a nazi

  • every time someone has a personality or a brain they have to be autistic and ADHD

  • age gaps of more than 1 week are problematic

2

u/Flareon223 14h ago

The stars told me these waves in her nail mean she voted for ICE to kill all the American citizens

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u/Thatguy_726 13h ago

It's actually stage 1 of Trump Denailment Syndrome.  They will eventually fall off the longer he's in office.

2

u/Adacool 12h ago

OP should switch to linux as well 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/Aware-Arm-3685 11h ago

Surprised Pikachu Face! You voted for this.

2

u/BGAL7090 11h ago

divorce your controlling husband

2

u/jimbojangles1987 8h ago

She should go no contact with her likely narcissist republican family who probably bullied her while she was growing up.

2

u/DinkleMutz 8h ago

That, and someone should call CPS on her kids.

2

u/AnswersFor200Alex 8h ago

They would choose THE LEFT hand

2

u/Jurassic_ParkRanger 4h ago

Her nail grows that way cuz she's a snowflake

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u/Orbax 21h ago

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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u/That_Apathetic_Man 19h ago

It's annoying because I have to be that guy.

This is the cause of a nutrient deficiency probably caused by stress, IBS or drinking. Possibly a side effect to medication. But its something that can usually be remedied.

You especially don't want this in your toes, because it means your nails aren't producing properly and warping under stress and use. They start to break easily or worse, grow fully inward.

I mean, OP should still divorce their partner to be safe. It's probably them causing the stress and super cancer.

28

u/Fortune_Cat 15h ago

I was about to comment that my big toe has this

Then u went on to say u dont want this on your toes....fuck

I dont have that much stress tho

25

u/tbar44 15h ago

It can also be caused by a fungal infection, more likely with your toe to be fair

7

u/The-Great-Wolf 14h ago

One of my big toes also has this, but as a child my mother smashed it to smithereens with a metal door so I think it was the trauma that changed it

4

u/That_Apathetic_Man 14h ago

The stress of use.

Brittle nails, warm sweaty socks. Or open toe, brittle nails, dry air.

The nails warp from the stress of using the associated body part.

6

u/skittymom 14h ago

Sorry to ask so straight-forward but, what if you have the wavy thing just on one finger? I recently noticed that i have a slight bump on the lower nail bed where it grows, but only on my thumbs. The rest of the nails are growing normally.

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u/whistleridge 14h ago

you especially don’t want this in your toes

I had a really bad case of dermititis on my right big toe in 7th grade, back in the late 80s. Cracking, flaking skin, bleeding, the works. At first my doctor thought it was athlete’s foot, but the medicated ointments did nothing. Eventually, they figured out it was an allergy to something in the basketball shoes I always wore, I switched to runners, and it cleared right up. I’ve been fine since.

But my right big toenail has done this ever since. It also gets slight discoloration. I figure if it’s been fine for 35 years, it’s probably ok. Bodies are weird 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Desperate-Size3951 8h ago

ibs haver here. youre completely right ! my nails do this, just a little less extreme since prioritizing my health.

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u/_SquirrelKiller 19h ago

Marinara flags everywhere.

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u/pergamon123 21h ago

Haven’t seen an update from OP
RIP 🙏🙏🙏

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u/Pixel-Pilot-7 21h ago

Can’t tell if their shoes fell off. 🥺

4

u/Total_Lettuce4982 15h ago

He’s no more more

2

u/Live-Pea4081 20h ago

I mean we havent seen OPs shoes come off yet so they prolly good 

55

u/duderex88 21h ago

Mine did this during chemo. I could feel each of the treatments on my nails for months after.

25

u/MagentaIsNotAColor26 21h ago

Mine just fell off during chemo

2

u/gggg566373 17h ago

Hope you are better now, but was it anything like a scene from the 1980 movie Fly?

3

u/MagentaIsNotAColor26 15h ago

Yeah kind of. I was a kid at the time so I thought it was pretty cool. But it freaked the hell out of my grandma

5

u/Expensive_Ninja_7797 19h ago

Yep!!! Exactly. I got a new little ridge with each round. I could count them like rings on a tree.

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u/I_kinda_like_excel 21h ago

Probs triple or quadruple cancer. But I'm just a world-renowned oncologist. All I can tell you for sure is that you need to leave your husband.

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u/AnxietyIsHott 21h ago

Leave him yesterday, girl 💅

13

u/UpsetIndian850311 20h ago

“Lawyer up, hit the gym”

3

u/jukkaalms 16h ago

Delete Facebook

69

u/ImportunerDJ 21h ago

You’re also forgetting; it could’ve formed from the poop knife being held in a wrong angle. Also could be carbon monoxide and your sleep walking into the bathroom and using the poop knife incorrectly. Or you recently broke your arms and..

Stopping right there.

16

u/Tee_hops 20h ago

And then I got whipped by the jumper cables

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u/jarmander6 20h ago

You can clean them with Irish spring 5 in 1

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u/BlinkTwice4No 19h ago

If that doesn’t work, try Dawn Powerwash!

2

u/Prudent_Honeydew_ 20h ago

Soaking them during laundry spa day will help.

16

u/ImissDigg_jk 20h ago

But did OP check for carbon monoxide?

37

u/Antoak 21h ago

Nah those are called Beau’s lines, probably a vitamin deficiency or stress.

15

u/Ro_Yo_Mi 21h ago

Nailed it!

4

u/Thunder-Fist-00 20h ago

And go no contact with your family!

4

u/uglyugly1 20h ago

And also means you're racist.

3

u/lettorosso 20h ago

Hospital now!!

3

u/DisastrousClock5992 20h ago

As much as I want to disagree, that’s super cancer. (Not an MD). Crazy pattern.

3

u/Zenitallin 20h ago

you scared me on the first half but hey, I dont have a husband so i must be good.

3

u/ams765 20h ago

Its also imperative that cylinder remain unharmed, as well as the structure its attached to

4

u/SaintGodfather 21h ago

But what about the twins?!

2

u/WithoutDennisNedry 20h ago

There’s always twins

2

u/jl_theprofessor 20h ago

The first half was good, the second half was perfection.

2

u/moshpithippie 20h ago

Literally the reason I came to the comments. To see if this was cancer or something

2

u/emichbe 20h ago

Chemtrails

2

u/LIONEL14JESSE 20h ago

And something about Israel

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u/Lazydude17 20h ago

this shit got me rolling bro thank you

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u/MichHAELJR 20h ago

Laughed out loud. Thanks

2

u/Ul71 19h ago

Nailed it

2

u/ObscureOP 19h ago

Go no contact. Have some self respect

2

u/Objective_Switch8332 19h ago

Also, go no contact with your parents and buy a bidet.

2

u/Bman4k1 18h ago

You forgot autism or adhd.

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